


Bumper Season

by Pepperwench, razorscooter



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Domestic Fluff, Drinking, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:54:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 78,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepperwench/pseuds/Pepperwench, https://archiveofourown.org/users/razorscooter/pseuds/razorscooter
Summary: "...... I literally can't believe this." Sebastian kept staring into the middle distance as his hands absentmindedly moved up Jim's back to stroke little circles. "..... You're a genius!!! You notice things!!! Like,,, professionally!!! and I am, or at least I thought I-.... Jesus Christ, I'm not subtle!!!! and I-" he faltered and his expression changed slightly, maybe a little bit of... pride... "...so, wait, so I like, didn't look like I was checking you out? at all? I looked like... cool and distant.... interesting ...good to know." He tried not to smile. He did not succeed.
Relationships: Sebastian Moran/Jim Moriarty
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	1. Prologue, I guess - January 2017

**Author's Note:**

  * For [snailkale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snailkale/gifts).



> This isn't a fan fiction.
> 
> (TL;DR AT THE END) JEEZ that was dramatic. I really felt like I had to hook you though hehe. This is a roleplay that me and my best friend have been doing for nine months on Wednesday. Maybe it's fitting that I'm deciding to publish it now, because, you know, it really is our baby. It's nothing special, but it means a lot to me, and it got too big for the google docs so I thought I'd add it here.
> 
> I hope we keep roleplaying, I won't promise you timely updates or infinite content - it takes a lot of work to transfer this from Facebook Messenger and edit out all of razorscooter's typos - but I'll do my best. We're sitting at about 285k as of the end of July. This is something we do for fun, so it's informal, and with some exception on razorscooter's part, not very well researched. I don't think that makes it any less enjoyable but, these notes are essentially just one big disclaimer. 
> 
> It'll be multi chapter, I'll upload what I've edited when I'm not busy with work or uni and I'll do my best to make it... make sense. I'm going to start with how Jim and Sebastian meet, even though we wrote it about four months in, and I'll figure it out from there. I'll put additional tags and trigger warnings in the notes for each chapter!!
> 
> Thanks for reading my little spiel. Like I said, this is our baby, so I'm excited and terrified to share it with the general public. I hope you love it as much as we do :*)
> 
> TL;DR: This is a roleplay. Additional tags and tws will be in the notes at the beginning of each chapter.
> 
> ***Graphic violence, blood, language, dubious ethics***
> 
> Thanks to my partner snailkale for being our beta reader :*) I love you so much, babe.

Sebastian Moran smiled at the smoking barrel of a gun. 

"You know," he hissed, "never actually been shot before, you're, wow, sort of my first time." He winked. The middle aged man with the thick Scandinavian accent standing above Seb grunted, and pistol whipped him. Sebastian yelped, and then slowly, grinned, blood colouring his teeth as he watched his left leg slowly spill a similar deep red over the light turquoise of the tiles. He was lying in the large empty swimming pool of an abandoned sport complex, and things admittedly, weren't looking /so/ hot. There were a couple other bodies littering the pool and Sebastian was, quite proud of that, and particularly proud, actually, of the healthy little gash down this man's cheek, which was bleeding profusely. 

"No jokes, bastard little boy," the man grunted with a scowl, "or I will shoot you again, head-shot." 

Sebastian smiled, which wasn't smart, and nodded in recognition. "I do wish, since you're being, so polite about it, that I could offer you the same courtesy? I can't, obviously- oh fuck," he winced slightly as a spark of pain shot up from his leg, "obviously," he managed, a little dizzy, "and um, real sorry about this but, I think I'm, uh, gonna have to kill you." 

It was unfortunate, for the man, that Sebastian was 23, and excitable, cocky, paranoid, a real fucking dick sometimes, 23, and loved spy movies a little too much. In his defence, Sebastian was going to turn 24 in March, which was only 2 months away, but the rest was unlikely to change quite so quickly. 

The man stared in disbelief for a moment and then started to laugh, which, did suit him actually, a real belly laugh, but mean, and deep. It was cut short when he started coughing. It ended completely when he fell to his knees, looking, suddenly deeply fatigued, and then Sebastian swore, very, very, loudly, as the man toppled forward, onto his bleeding leg, paralysed. Seb took a moment to compose himself before reaching over the man awkwardly to pry the gun from his hands, he finally got hold of it, properly, and paused, "slow acting poison," he told the body, that he was pretty sure couldn't hear him anyway but whatever, "I lace a couple knives with it, all the time. It doesn't kill you!" he added, smiling, "...but this might," and he shot the man's neck, point blank. 

He sat there, panting, not bothering to push mr no-jokes off quite yet, just trying to regain some sense of urgency. He didn't particularly fancy bleeding out in this pool. "Okay," he whispered, eventually, to, nothing. He pulled out his phone and called Gianna. It rang, she didn't pick up. If she was giving someone shit, at the fucking meat shop, he swore to god. He called again. She answered on the first ring, unusual. "/What/," she hissed. Oh. She always sounded a little like she was about to kill him but this felt, excessive, he frowned. 

"Well, hello to you too. Feel better? For snapping? At me? The poor young hitman bleeding out from a leg wound, at location- and yes, I got them all, but fucking /christ/ Gia, whoever your using for reconnaissance, at the moment? Fire them. Maybe kill them? This was not fucking two men, 20-30, unarmed. Anyway, little help?" The other end of the phone was silent. "...hello?" He could tell she was still there, just barely, because she was still breathing, quiet... scared? ... what the fuck? Gia wasn't scared of... well, she fucking hated spiders but other than that, anything. 

Finally, "...don't need to kill him, Sebastian," she said, slowly, and /very/ quietly, "someone beat me to it. Family and I are just here for th-" she was cut off when an ear shattering screech sounded, what Sebastian could only assume was just a few meters in front of her, accompanied by the unmistakable sound of bones cracking, "...for the show."

Sebastian, for once, had absolutely no idea what to say, his brain was racing... what? ... WHAT??? Gianna saved him by speaking again, still low, still, cautious, "... I'll send some texts, get you out, polpetto," (an Italian pet name people used for children, that translated to meatball, which she thought was so funny, and Sebastian thought was stupid, but he was a little too lost to complain), "hold tight. Don't call again." There was a pause and then, what was even more of a whisper, barely audible, "/take care of Marco/." And she hung up. 

What. The. Fuck. 

Sebastian's heart raced, and there was no way that was good for the whole don't lose too much blood in the swimming pool plan. What the fuck. The Di Pierto's were, powerful, they were almost untouchable as far as he could tell. They were... from the sounds of it fucking terrified. Marco was Gianna's nephew, 5 years old, annoying as shit, always crying, had an absolute need to get behind the counter at the butchers and try to eat the raw meat. Sebastian liked him. Sebastian did not like, whatever the fuck was going on. He scowled. Someone, on the other end of that phone, was making an example, doing, well, actually exactly what Sebastian had suggested, but that definitely didn't mean he had to like this fucker. He tried to ignore the part of him that found this exhilarating. He chalked it up to endorphins. He believed himself, he was good at that. He was feeling lightheaded, he reached beside him and took the lucky little knife, wiping off the blade on the body he'd decided not to move. It was cutting off some blood flow to the leg which he figured was probably good, like tying off the wound, but with a body. He also didn't trust himself to move it off without fucking up something important just now. He pocketed the now poison free knife. Gia wasn't particularly found of his, creative flair. He just wouldn't mention this little stunt, /when/ he saw her next, he decided. His vision started swimming. Heh. Swimming, in a swimming pool, he thought, as footsteps could suddenly be heard, approaching quickly, voices, yeah, Gia always pulled through. Sebastian passed out before they even got to him.

Jim was pissed off. He'd been on edge a lot lately - multiple assassination attempts made you real fucking paranoid no matter how good you were - but this took the fucking cake. Letting a rat inside to trace it back to an uncomfortably powerful Italian crime syndicate was a good plan, cheap, functional. Jim didn't fuck up. He /never/ fucked up. But somehow, through some freak accident, he had thirty two men dead in a pool in Islington. Jim grabbed his bloodied wrench, stood up and kicked the broken, bleeding body in front off him. It made a noise, a sort of a frantic sob. Unfortunate for him. Jim stepped on the shoulder that he had just dislocated and put his full weight on it, taking a moment to listen to the ear shattering scream he elicited before dropping the, mostly red wrench on the recon mans head, cutting it off short. He stepped over the body, approaching the terrified family huddled together in front of him. "Is this everybody? I hope so, I wouldn't want anyone to have missed such a gorgeous performance, I did a really good job, huh?" He looked back at the body, grinning, before turning back to the Di Piertos. His smile slipped into something, much more fucking sinister. "You will never pull shit like this again. You will withdraw all of your extensions outside of central london, or I will burn every single one of your buildings to the ground with everyone inside. When I ask you to do something, you will do it, or I will kill anyone any of you have ever loved, including your innocent, helpless children. Is that clear?" Jim waited a moment, smirking at the horrified, tear stained faces of the Di Piertos. "...Rhetorical question." He turned to the door, motioning for his small firing squad to stay put until he left."Shoot four of them!" He called, exiting onto the street. It was snowing, and fucking cold. He hurried into the waiting car, pulling out his phone to text for his clean up team. "Pool," He grunted. /Fuck/ this was inconvenient. He felt a little better after fucking up that shitty recon man, but he needed a little more than that to cool down after /this/. /Thirty Two/. Who the fuck was this guy? His phone dinged. An update on the hitman. His name was Sebastian Moran, 23, M, 6'0, 91kg - /holy shit/. That was a /lot/ of confirmed kills. Especially for someone who'd only been active for two years. Jim grinned, biting down on his lip. Exciting. He had been apprehended, he was passed out and losing blood, quickly. Jim texted back. 

Keep him alive. Isolate him. Send me a picture of the detainee.

He waited. They were halfway to the pool. 

His phone dinged.

He checked it.

...

Holy shit.

Sebastian woke up, and for a moment had no idea where he was. The pain he immediately registered in his leg reminded him easily his situation last he'd been conscious. He still didn't know where he was. Oh. The moment wasn't passing he was legitimately, somewhere he'd never been before. He was no stranger to waking up somewhere, not remembering precisely how he got there, but this was not a London hospital, this was not a Di Pierto residence, and this definitely wasn't his mom's couch. ...Fuck. He was, fucked? Probably. Small room, no windows, one guard by the door, two more on the other side at least, he could see the shadows from two sets of feet under the doorframe, that was hard but it was undoable, best not to act, too too hasty. The leg was... well actually the IV he noticed in his forearm was probably giving him something for the pain or else that would be hurting a hell of a lot more. Gia. Oh fuck. Shit fuck, shit, he needed to do something about that. Real fucking inconvenient time to die if you're dead, lady. He couldn't fuckin- hm. Maybe Beth Moran was interested in raising a, strange young Italian boy if that's what it came to? Did seem outlandish though and it was starting to dawn on Sebastian that he, wasn't actually in much of a position to be making plans for, his life outside this room... should such a thing come to pass. ...Damn.

He eyed the guard by the door. "...So," Sebastian asked eventually, casual, cool, "um... you're cute, kinda, wanna, get out of here? I'm starting to find this place a little cramped, I was thinking maybe you could, show me, to the exit, see where things go from there, yeah?"

The guard looked at Sebastian, and looked away. Sebastian groaned slightly and surveyed his surroundings again, glancing at the labels on his IVs, but he didn't really understand that shit anyway. "...okay," he tried again, "you're not interested, I respect that. Will you, maybe, tell me, where I am? or why? or who you work for? or if I'm, about to die? I'm assuming I'm not, people don't usually, fix bullet holes on bodies they're about to murder, but hey! I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind." 

No answer.

"... Ooookay, not even, all the questions, dude... c'mon there's gotta be something you can tell me. Or what? Can I just leave? If I fight you and win do I just earn my freedom? Give me... fucking something."

There was, what felt like a very long pause, and the guard said, "He wants to speak with you."

Sebastian stared at him. "He... who??? One of the guys, from the pool? They're all d- is this, a real convoluted way of saying I'll see those guys, in hell? Was that your cool line before you shoot me, unarmed in, what I can only assume is a stolen hospital bed? Gotta admit, might wanna workshop it, a /little/ hard to follow... or you could just like, tell me what the fuck you're talking about?"

Sebastian smiled, hopefully. The guard looked away, silent. Seb groaned again and leaned back, covering his eyes with his forearm to block out the annoying florescent lights. Boring. Shitty. Stressful. Fucked up. Stupid. ...Fucked.

"Jesus fucking christ." Jim was not easily impressed. He couldn't remember the last time he had been in awe of anything. There was absolutely no fucking way this type of massacre could be accomplished by one twenty three year old hitman. 

...

/You could do it/ - hm, he /could/ do this, but /no one/ was as good as he was. He frowned and surveyed the scene. It was, gorgeous, barely any of the porcelain tiles had ruptured - near perfect marksmanship. Jim grinned and, wait, was his anger cut with, /admiration/? He didn't /actually/ think this guy did a good job did he? He scowled and waved the clean up team forward, walking out of the pool again. He got in the car and the driver began the drive back to the current hq. Jim tapper his fingers against the door. He /should/ let him stew for a bit, but, fuck, he wanted to see him now. He wanted to know how he fucking did it. Jim sighed and looked out the window. 

...

He took out his phone and looked at the picture of the hitman again.

What the fuck was wrong with him? He scowled and put it away. This bastard better be fucking worth it, otherwise Jim was going to shoot him point blank in his shitty little hospital bed.

When the car pulled up Jim exited and made his way up to his office to grab something before heading to the room where the hitman was being held. He stopped in front of the door and hesitated, listening. He was awake and, /what/ was he saying? Was he /flirting/? Jim raised his eyebrows. God, this guy sounded like an asshole. Maybe he would have to kill him after all. He waited until a few minutes after he stopped talking, then motioned for the guards to let him in. The door opened and there, on the bed, was the man who had just killed thirty two armed men in an abandoned sports complex. He looked like shit. Jim had to fight back the urge to smirk. "Go," he said to the guard, before sitting down on a small chair leaning against the wall closest to him. He looked the man - Moran, up and down, gathering all the information he could before leaning back and crossing his legs. "So," he said, throwing the tennis ball he'd gotten from his office in the air and catching it again. "How'd you do it?"

Hm. /Him/ appeared to have arrived. .... Huh. Pristine and obviously expensive suit. Nonchalant. Rich. Sunglasses indoors. Sebastian's eyes narrowed. This mother fucker seemed to be under the impression he owned the whole fucking world. ...and there wasn't any dirt under his finger nails. Sebastian didn't like people who didn't get their hands dirty. It was why he could work for Gia, she was practical, straightforward, and tough as shit especially when it came to making sure he wouldn't do crazy fucking shit, but he could tell, when they happened to be on jobs together, the tiny little secret bit of a thrill she got when things started getting messy. It was hard to imagine anyone getting anything like mess on this fucking suit. ...Sebastian didn't fucking like this guy, ...which made it a little bit easier to study his, admitedly, kind of unbelievable features, Sebastian's slight awe just a little undercurrent to his general distaste. He smiled and blinked a few times. "Oh! Hi! I'm Sebastian! You want to talk something out? I'll try to be as helpful as possible! Hmmm... do what?" He asked, innocently, but his eyes were glued to those fucking sunglasses, never breaking contact. Challenging? ... Yeah, a little, what a-fucking-bout it.

Jim threw the tennis ball at "Sebastian's" head. Not hard enough to knock him out, hard enough to bruise? Maybe. He smirked as it made a satisfying sound on impact and bounced to the floor. He stood up and moved to pick it up, throwing it in the air and catching it again. He turned and smiled down at the snarky little asshole. "Mr. Moran, you killed a lot of people today, don't you feel the tiniest bit bad?"

Sebastian swore, loudly, as the fucking tennis ball shattered his entire fucking skull. Well. Maybe it didn't but jesus. His right hand moved instinctively to the spot, bleeding? Yeah, a fucking little. Ugh, not much though. He focused on being annoyed. He was annoyed. That wasn't fucking /exciting/ Sebas- ...oh. Sitting down, in shitty florescent lighting, in a very dark coloured suit, apparently gave a slightly misleading impression. Once you noticed the, kind of obscene amount of blood clinging to one pant leg, your brain started to notice the little splashes everywhere else too. Looking /past/ the fingernails, now that his hands were turned, and Sebastian could see his palms, which had obviously been holding /something/ ...well, potentially just something covered in a deep red paint but that seemed unlikely. He narrowed his eyes as his mind raced for the right fucking thing to say. As it did, his subconscious had its own, very, /very/ aggressively /ignored/ conversation, at the blood-covered man with the tennis ball and the shades. /Like me/. Sebastian's face twisted very slightly into a grimace at his own brain. Mother fucker just kidnapped him and probably killed Gianna Di Pierto and, well maybe all of Sebastian's current employers, and he /definitely/ bruised the skin around his left eyebrow. He did /not/ want this bitch to /like/ him. ...god. He just wanted him to take off his fucking sunglasses. That's what he wanted to fucking say. /I hate you, let me see your fucking eyes./ He didn't. He just looked up at the confident little pitcher and narrowed his eyes, "they tried to kill me first," he suggested, holding his gaze for a minute before smiling and looking away, towards the door, bored, "...all of them, honest."

Jim smiled and leaned against the wall next to the bed. This asshole was kind of cute when he was in pain. Maybe Jim could break him, fuck with him a little, keep him around. "I would hope so, I did tell them to." He noticed Moran notice the blood, /fuck/ that boosted his ego. /Like what you see? Are you scared? Or impressed? Or both?/ God, okay, he shouldn't get distracted alone in a room with this trigger happy maniac. He threw the ball and caught it again. "You killed thirty two armed men in that pool, you know. More than half of them had some kind of family, that doesn't bother you?"

Sebastian blinked at him, and then grinned slowly. Ugh. Don't fucking tell him what he wants to know. Never tell him. Just keep him fucking talking. There was a certain adrenaline to the whole affair and this freak fucking sucked, Sebastian hated him, but that /feeling/ was... everything. "/I/ didn't send them into a death trap," he smiled, avoiding the question, the real question, "someone underestimated me, people got killed, and those families suffer I guess, I mean, /maybe/, if they're into that sort of thinnnng. I think that's, the circle of life? Hmmyeah, word for word if I'm not mistaken, that's just how it goes." He smiled wider. His brain was becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the two of them were alone in the small room, which made their little game, all the more exhilarating somehow. "Anyway," he added, "everybody fucking dies, how would you rather go, honey? Hospital bed?" he gestured to his own IV drip bag, "or paralyzed in an abandoned swimming pool, as a man you've never met paints your brains all over those pretty blue tiles." He grinned, looking back at those fucking sunglasses. "/Lots/ of people want swimming pool and end up with hospital bed, I consider it my sacred duty to tip the scale a /little/ closer to even." He narrowed his eyes, just slightly, "Makes the world a little more /fun/, shades, wouldn't you say?"

Jim's eyes darkened. Did this asshole really think he got to call him honey? His lips curled into an ugly smile. "So much more fun. Paralyzed, huh? How'd you do that darling?" He tightened his grip on the tennis ball. Sacred duty, /Honey/. Oh, Jim was going to kill this fucker. He really wasn't budging though. Jim fought the urge to jump on the bed and strangle the bastard with his bare hands. Hm, maybe he could compromise. He walked over to the drip. "Listen, Sebastian?" Jim started to screw the morphine drip shut. "I won't lie to you, I haven't decided to kill you yet. If you tell me how you took out my men I pinky promise that I won't blow your tiny fucking brain out, okay?" He smiled sweetly and retreated back to his chair.

Sebastian's grin widened. He was used to death threats, something about these particular death threats at this particular moment did sent a certain electricity off through all his major arteries, he bit the inside of his cheek to quell some of that fucking energy and blinked back. /Darling/. He was too fucking much. "What? You mean you don't, want to? Disappointing." he smiled, and bit his lip, "always hoped the fucker who'd kill me one day would look..." he let his eyes drifted up and down what was, just objectively an attractive fucking body, before you got to know it, "... yeah, something like that."

God, who the fuck did he think he was. Jim took off his sunglasses, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. "God, you're so /fucking/ annoying." Okay, Jim could handle this, he wasn't going to let some doped up trust fund kid ruin his day. Even though, he already had. /Thirty fucking Two/. Jim /had/ gotten to fuck up that recon kid pretty good before he killed him though. He smiled, maybe the day /wasn't/ lost. He looked up at the asshole in the hospital bed. "How about I promise that to kill you if you tell me?”

Sebastian didn't register the question. He was staring. At those eyes. His brain was MIA. He didn't even blink for a second. Finally something caught up and he shook himself out of it. Jesus Christ. He'd lost more blood than he thought, he'd have to fucking, do something about that. Oh. Tennis ball had asked him a question. "... What?" he asked, genuinely, without really thinking, still in a bit of a daze

Jim pinched the bridge of his nose again. "Jesus Christ, how hard did I fucking hit you?" He lowered his hand and glared at Moran. "Okay, listen sweetheart, you just tell me what happened at the pool, in graphic detail, and then I'll turn your morphine back on and I won't kill anymore Di Piertos, okay? I'll just wring your pretty little neck and we don't even have to negotiate." Jim scowled. "At least, I won't kill anymore Di Piertos /for now/."

“...So you... didn't kill all the Di Piertos then?" Sebastian asked with a very small smile. These were, very dangerous waters he was swimming. Chilling. Addictive. "Sorry, sorry, or you /did/ and this is all a clever head game." He couldn't stop himself from smirking, but the more he got distracted the louder the /like me/ voice could get without Sebastian actually noticing the influence. He just noticed the fucking rush. "Okay, fucking, you know what? Sure. I'll walk you through it." He very tactfully, did /not/ say, show you where you fucked up, despite the part of him that would rather die than keep that shit in /fuck/ this was fun. Admittedly, even if you were rich, control over that many men was, interesting, that wasn't easy for shit, and they hadn't even been half bad. Thinking back on it, trying to remember where to start, Sebastian studied the man's face and.. jesus... "...so those were ...wait how fucking old are you? 20?"

Jim's face twisted into a scowl and he beaned Moran with the tennis ball again. "Flattering, but no. I killed /enough/ Di Piertos. Why, holding out for a specific one?" HoW fUcKiNg OlD aRe YoU? tWeNtY? God, Jim needed to relax before he actually killed this kid. He took a deep breath. "Walk me through it, Moran."

“Jesus /Fucking/ Christ!!!" Sebastian was more angry that he knew he was too doped up still and suffering from blood loss to just fucking /catch/ it but also, /fuck/ that hurt. "Fine!! Touchy fucking subject... jesus fuck... okay..." he sighed and then scowled back at... ugh... fuck. "Actually, no. Fuck this. New fucking deal. New deal or no deal, listening?"

Jim smiled. /Cute when he's in pain/. "Sure," he said, nonchalantly. "Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable, darling."

Sebastian scowled and rubbed lightly where the fucking baseball had most recently made contact with his head. "I tell you, how I got all your little kill-toys, and you tell me, who the fuck you fucking are."

Jim grinned. Oh, this would be good. He leaned back and kicked his feet up on the edge of the hospital bed. "Yeah, okay. Shoot."

Sebastian hesitated, just a moment, before he started talking. "Okay, so lets say you're in an abandoned sports complex in some neighbourhood in London no one fucking remembers existing, even if they fucking live there, and anyway, you're meant to find two men there, young, unarmed, and though not consciously aware of it, pretty much inviting you too kill them very, very easily. You do not find these men. No one is there. Yet. Now you think about just hanging around, waiting, they're late, they'll come, but uh, no. You feel... hm, /antsy/ isn't the right word really, but anyway your paranoia's kept you alive this long, so you listen. The stairs up were demolished but there's a high walkway, an old running track, maybe twenty feet off the ground around the edge of the room. No easy way up. Perfect. You /make/ a way up, mostly using an old volley ball net, the long pool skimmer, and a spot of dumb luck. So you have your perch, and you just watch, as sure enough, a group of fuckers with guns trail in, real fucking quiet, signalling to each other, checking around every corner, scouring the room for well, perhaps it's conceited to say but all evidence points to /you/. They're good too, doing like, everything right. You think about shooting them all then and there, what order makes it easiest, so they don't get away, who's body language tells you they'll stand and shoot, you can leave them to pick off last. You don't shoot them. There's about 20 and you want to see what they do next. Oh. And thank god you held off. There's a sound, and more fucking criminals trail in, bought a dozen, that's fucking thorough, first bunch doesn't seem surprised to see them either, all sent by the same people, you're not even sure what's /in/ this fucking complex that your employers don't want anyone to nab, they don't love it when you ask questions, which you think is incredibly annoying but they get you jobs so, whatever. You think about crafting some kind of makeshift bomb or starting a fire. Not your style, and probably not your job. You've actually been itching to try this rifle though, its small, very portable, kind of perfect. You start shooting, child's play. You get 7 while they're first scrambling for cover. You don't miss shots. The 6 who stick their heads too far out at any point to aim for you get bullets in their brains. 19 left. It's an excellent spot but nothing's perfect, a couple too many bullets have come a bit too close for comfort. You look across. There was a reason you chose this side of the walking path and not that side, neither is exactly safe but that one's practically falling apart. A public safety hazard. You take /very/ careful aim at just the right load bearing support and sure enough, Boom! 10 left. Best ten probably. Still, they're all jumping away from or at least snap their heads to watch as, essentially, the sky is falling. There was dust and rubble and, no one actually seemed to notice you scamper over to the far corner and use the pool skimmer to slide back down to earth. Now here's one of those thing you've noticed, in your years running these jobs for other people, that the guys at the top, who've never worked like this, just don't seem to fucking get. In a group of over 30, sure, seems like good odds, covers lots of ground real easy, but it's just fucking impossible that anyone really knows, every other person on the team, that someone's really keeping track of who's all there. Especially when we're mixing groups but if you're fucking honest, even when we're not. So anyway, you dust yourself off, cough in the dust, and whisper to yourself, low and professional still but /fuck/ ...a little panicked, "jesus... how'd he even fucking get up there?" No one looks at you twice. Not until you find your moment, take your hand gun and shoot the guy beside you point blank in the head, catching the body in your arms to used as a meat shield for the few second it takes you to jump back and into the empty pool firing and killing one more before you disappear into the hole, letting the body fall as you yourself grab on to the ladder, clambering nimbly back up and firing without looking, pretty much at all, over the edge of the pool. They might go around but you've still got the rifle and they know you'll likely pick them off before they have a chance to shoot at you. You hear them, running for the pool and you slide down the ladder at just the right moment, shooting up at first, getting the bastard who thought it'd really be that easy up through the jaw. The final 7 are staggering and shooting, some shooting from the edge, mistake, others clambering down to join you in the pool, also a mistake. Essentially falling yourself, but with the stability of hands on a ladder and occasionally feet on a wall, you keep your movement erratic enough for the second you're going down that no one hits you. You manage to get the two on the ledge real easy, they're not even moving, and standing so they can see you just makes them so fucking vulnerable. So. 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One of them broke her fucking leg in the fall, you kill her, obviously. But the other four seem to be interested in teamwork and they're kind of all around you in this semi circle 'round the ladder. Unfortunate. Still got the rifle. Hand gun out of shots. You throw it at someone's head, far left, which apparently no one was expecting you to do so, thats a spilt second, just enough time. You duck and slide along the floor for far right's legs, which you do take out, and he falls. One of the other's actually manages to miss you during this little stunt and hit this dude's falling body so that's convenient. You shoot that one right back. Two left. Kid you threw the gun at, seems she did catch it, wonder if she knows its empty, and some middle aged man. You usually, expect the unexpected, but actually,,, rest in peace gun kid, she chucked the fucking glock right back. Which you should've seen coming! But it was just, such a kind of, ridiculous stunt to pull twice, it got you. You scrambled to the side to not get hit and she shot your fucking rifle and the impact made you drop it. She was definitely aiming for your gut but still, what the fuck. You could've held on but all three of you at that point were going through the microsecond, and you couldn't move predictably, move with the impact. You couldn't reach out for it. It shot away, a mere foot behind you, and you knew you couldn't get it you had to focus 300% on not getting fucking shot. You didn't get shot. You'd been really into Jujitsu as a teenager and you were on your feet in a flash. You pulled out your knives and threw one at gun kid's throat, she wasn't quick enough. You also threw one at mr stubble, who'd been missing you as you moved, but it turned out this last mother fucker was a shitty shot, and great at fucking dodging, you missed him too. You jumped to the side as he lunged for you. If you're really a shitty shot you wanna be as close as possible, especially if the other poor fuck doesn't even have a gun, you get it. He gets close, you manage to stab him down the cheek, he screams, you try to jump back further away, but there's a fucking body. And you trip backwards on the corpse you fucking left there. And this fucker who can't shoot for shit finally gets you as you're falling in the fucking leg. He doesn't kill you right away because you keep him talking. He offers you some constructive criticism on your people skills, which you take to heart of course, and then he falls, paralyzed on top of you, and you kill him with his own gun. /Some/ credit due to the shit you use to lace your knives. So anyway, zero." Sebastian finished, what now felt like a short epic, paused for a moment and smiled. "...See? The thing is. It's not, /unlucky/ that your 32 men couldn't fucking beat me. I'm very, /very/ fucking good at what I do. It is, in fact, the other way around. You might be blessed. It is, sheer, dumb, luck, that a single one of them managed to /touch/ me, at all." He said it nonchalantly, and with a faint smile. He also fucking meant it.

Jim was beaming. He'd never been so pleased about an inconvenience before. Sebastian Moran was really fucking good. He could not be allowed to leave this building with his life. But, he /was/, in a weird, annoying way, almost charming. And he was tall. At least, taller than Jim. Jim knew he shouldn't be smiling because obviously it was giving this motherfucker the satisfaction he craved. He smiled anyway. "You know, you're pretty fucking cocky for two years in the business."

Sebastian didn't bother with suprise. That fucking fit. The man's smile seemed, genuinely into it, which was crazy, which fucking fascinated Sebastian. "Mmmyup, yup yup, so people keep telling me, and yet! ...kinda fucking cool right?" He grinned, he couldn't help it. The /like me/ voice decided it was winning and so he got some kind of high from that, ostrasized part of his brain as well, but curiosity was still prickling, absolutely refusing to be ignored even for a second. "...So. You gonna, honour our little arangement? Or is this the part where you shoot me, and I die, in a hospital bed... for hmmpoetic justice I suppose."

Jim almost laughed. /Weird/, he /never/ did that. Whatever, that wasnt the situation at hand. He smirked at Moran and crossed his arms, leaning back again in the chair. "I'm Jim. Moriarty."

Sebastian stared at, tennis ball. At shades. Honey. Hon. ... "No you're fucking not." He replied, still staring. He paused, just fucking looking, searching for something, anything that might just tell him that was a joke. "... You fucking /aren't/ you cant- Dude... what the f- ... okay. Cute. Funny. /No./ You're approximately- I'm looking at you, right now, presently- you look hm, definitely over 17 years old. Past that? Not fucking sure, but you are /not/, James, fucking, Moriarty."

Jim's smirk turned into a sour smile. "I'm twenty three, and I can fucking guarantee, /honey/, that I /am/ James fucking Moriarty." His voice had lost its playfulness and turned cold, almost vicious. "Do you need some id? Want me to shoot you point blank? Would that convince you? Throw that tennis ball at you until you have brain damage? Turn up the morphine so you go out in the most boring. Way. Possible?" Jim realized that he'd started leaning forward, angling his body towards Moran. He was grinning, too wide now. He was going to kill this asshole with his bare hands.

Sebastian's entire fight or flight instinct was fucked. This was common knowledge. He was probably about to die and he was having a little bit of trouble not drowning in the fucking insanity of it all. Fuck. /Fuck/. Every cell in his body felt so fucking alive. He was fucking /excited/. What fucking for? who knew. .../Really/ didn't mind when people talked to him like /that/ huh. Jesus. He wanted it to keep going. It occured to him briefly that there was something fucking wrong with him, but there was too much going on his brain and the thought was lost. Many a thought was lost, his head was spinning. He just kept looking at... fuck, it was too crazy to /think/. ...He kept staring, at the chilling, impossibly dark, murderous eyes, of James Moriarty. "... You're twenty three?" he heard his own voice drift disbelievingly out of his mouth, he sounded delerious, quiet, stupid, awed, simple, not even a little tiny /sane/ bit afraid for his life. "... I'm twenty three."

Jim's grin widened. "Oh yeah, I know, twenty four in March, right? ...Assuming you make it that long." God, Jim /hated/ him but, not entirely. He was, intriguing? /Hot/. His smile slipped a bit. He wasn't going to keep this incredibly dangerous and capable hitman alive just because he was hot. He leaned back in the chair and glared at Sebastian Moran, trying to decide what to do.

Sebastian blinked. "...what? Oh! yeah. Uh. Yeah." He smiled faintly. "...I guess even if you let me leave, might have trouble making rent... You didn't happen to see if you killed, a, tall woman, early 40s, lean, uh, kinda, crinkly brown hair.... ring any bells?" He glanced over at, probably his murderer, probably the person who was going to finally just fucking kill him. Kind of... absolutely legendary that it was James Moriarty, fuck. He smiled. "I'm just trying to acsertain if I'm uh, suddenly unemployed... this whole shit? a hobby. /Really/, professionally, I'm a butcher over at Di Pietro Meats."

"No." Jim leaned forward in his chair. A /hobby/? Jesus fucking christ, a /HOBBY/?? There was no way he was gonna let Sebastian Moran go back to the Di Piertos. "You're not a butcher anymore." He stood up and approached the bed, standing over Moran and glaring down into his eyes. "You do not work for the Di Piertos anymore. If you want to leave this room in anything but a body bag, you're going to work for me. I'd tell you the salary," the corner of Jim's mouth twitched into a smile. "But I think you'd do it even if I didn't pay you. You think it's fun."

Sebastian's brain faltered. He opened his mouth, closed it again, and blinked up at, Jesus fucking Christ. "So do you." he replied without thinking. Fuck. Shit. Stop fucking this UP. Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. "I mean, yes! Yeah. Sure. Sure sure sure. Deal. Sounds ...peachy." He smiled.

Jim scoffed and gave Sebastian a half smile. This absolute dick. "Work on your manners," he said after a couple beats, retrieving his sunglasses and putting them on again. "Tell Gianna Di Pierto that you quit, if she's alive. Someone will send you a briefing in a day or so and you'll do the job." He walked towards the door and started to open it before turning back to Sebastian Moran. "I'm sure I don't need to threaten you, you've obviously heard enough stories, and you're right." Jim grinned wickedly. "I don't think theres anything more fun than this." He left the room.

Sebastian watched him go in a daze. "...Bye," he mumbled at the closed door with a little wave to, no one. What... the fuck just happened??? ...oh fuck he was about to wake up from this weird fucking fever dream and.... Jesus. No. Thing was, he didn't really think he was dreaming. This was real. He just met, James Moriarty. He worked for James Moriarty now. He felt the unmistakable buzz of exhilaration all over his body. He worked- oh fuck, his leg he- ....James Moriarty wouldn't fucking care. Quite frankly, neither did Sebastian. He'd fucking do it, bullet wound and all, a /challenge/. The concept of proving himself crossed his mind and it did sound, oddly exciting but fuck that. He'd already proved himself. This was just the job. And he fucking loved it. And he would /excel/. He worked... for James fucking Moriarty. ...ok. Debrief. .../Very/ fucking young. Pretty too. Probably knew it. Short temper. Sort of short in general. Well, noticeably shorter than Sebastian. Those fucking /eyes/. ... and Jesus Fucking Christ what an asshole. Sebastian smiled to himself, gazing at the ceiling. ...Wow. This was going to be, very, very entertaining.

  
  



	2. The Bar - June 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim could feel his face getting hotter. Was he, panicking? Fucking ridiculous, he was never drinking again. "Sebastian, I don't have an 'ideal'. I'm just right." His mind was racing, he should play this situation like he normally would, but for some reason he wanted, to be honest? "Face, eight - no, seven - body, ten, personality.... six." Jim paused, he was feeling kinda light headed. He had said that Sebastian's face was a seven but, fuck, looking at it now it was so Obviously a nine. If only he would say something stupid and make Jim forget how fucking hot he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is... the very beginning. I had never roleplayed mormor before, so please excuse me if my Jim isn't really developed yet :*)
> 
> ***Alcohol use, language, intended noncon, nonconsensual drugging***

Sebastian you can't list "licensed assassin for Jim Moriarty" as your career on Facebook.  
JM

I cant change it now my mom shared with a laugh emoji shes thinks its hysterical  
SM

Does your mother know that you've killed over fifty people in the past eight weeks? I know you don't take things seriously Sebastian but you make it so fucking difficult to keep you alive.  
JM

oh c'mon its hiding in plain sight!!! what kind of assassin posts about it on Facebook!!! it's so obviously a joke, it's perfect, /keep me alive/, I can look after myself weirdo you're just antsy by nature  
SM

I wish you didn't have a Facebook to begin with but you insist on being impossible.  
JM  
Aren't jokes supposed to get funny? What's funny about you publicly declaring that you work as an assassin?  
JM

were you never 11 years old and changed your employer to krusty krab??? I knew you were a bit odd but that's UnUsual boss  
SM

When I was eleven Facebook didn't exist and I do not know who crusty crab is, nor do I care.  
JM  
At least remove me as your employer. It makes cleaning up after you even more difficult.  
JM

as if you ever personally handle cleanups, ur just a chronic over thinker its fiinnee  
SM

Sebastian, you are very lucky that you are so good at your job.  
JM  
If you weren't under my employ I guarantee I would "overthink" a hell of a lot less.  
JM

that's part of my incredible multifaceted appeal!!! I keep you on your toes, invaluable for a man in your position really  
SM

Darling the amount of people who would (and have, and will) pay to have me killed is quite staggering, what do you have that they don't?  
JM

oh that's easy I know you  
SM

That's it?  
JM

I mean it! how many of your fancy rivals know your pet peeves and niche special interests of the hour  
SM

I don't think knowing my pet peeves is really an asset when you insist on exploiting them.  
JM  
And also, you're my employee, you know me in an explicitly professional sense. I would be surprised if you knew my birthday.  
JM

may 22nd, you're a Gemini, obviously  
SM  
and it's an asset because it trains you to stop being so anal about dumb shit all the time! I'm like a personal trainer  
SM

Firstly, I want to know where you got that information and who needs to be taken care of, secondly, I don't need a Fucking Personal Trainer.  
JM  
And if I did, I could hire one, and it would certainly not be /you/.  
JM  
Clearly you want our relationship to defy the very definition of professional.  
JM

not professional? what are you gonna do? take it up with HR??? so what if it's not professional who cares, what are you so worried about?  
SM

(No response)

... are you creating an HR to complain about me to? Jim c'mon, you can so easily hack my Facebook and take down my posts, you're obviously just, idk tense? tell me what you need and maybe I can help  
SM

Maybe I am tense, I really don't think that's cause for intervention though, Sebastian.  
JM  
And even if it was, I thought your most viable asset was knowledge of my pet peeves, not my preferred relaxation activities.  
JM

"preferred relaxation activities"???? fuck off all you do to relax is kill people and eventually pass out after not sleeping for days, you dont have fucking "relaxation activities" you have anger outlets and ocassionally drugs, "maybe I am tense" yeah I'm fucking shocked!!!!  
SM  
n boss, one fucking question: you dont need me, got it, fine, but you dont need my intervention??? if I dont intervene name one other person on this planet who will  
SM

(Delayed) Well you don't have to be such an asshole about it.  
JM  
And you know what? I don't need your intervention, or ANY intervention, and I don't want it either. But I never fucking said that I didn't need /you/.  
JM

[delayed] what?  
SM

I mean, you're good at what you do, you aren't... disposable.  
JM  
(Delayed) And it's not, terrible having someone with your brand of loyalty know me, a little.  
JM

oh wow, coming from you that's almost romantic  
SM  
not disposable??? I'm swooning  
SM

Shut up I might change my mind.  
JM

tease  
SM

Sebastian, what do you want from me?  
JM

literally just for you to loosen up!!! seriously the way you live your life is unhealthy, I suspect I'm the only person who ever fucks with you!! that's tragic!! no wonder you're so high strung  
SM  
I was also hoping that at some point you'd say you were kidding about not knowing the krusty krab because, wow that's sad  
SM

Who is "krusty krab"?? Is he one of your dealers?  
JM  
Anyways, if you're so fucking smart, how should I loosen up?  
JM  
And I'm not high strung.  
JM

of course not you're exceptionally well adjusted and absolutely never even remotely neurotic  
SM  
come get a drink with me  
SM  
and yeah, I get all my MDMA from the krusty krab  
SM

God, at least do something with an easier comedown. What if I need you for a job but you're crying in the fucking shower?  
JM  
(Delayed) a drink with you?  
JM

a drink with me.  
SM

Fine.  
JM

holy shit  
SM  
sorry that was just so much easier than I thought it was gonna be  
SM

If you're gonna be a bitch about it I won't go.  
JM

oh on the contrary I'll be a perfect gentleman! pick you up at 8?  
SM

I'll send a car for you at 8:30.  
JM

...

There wasn't much to do until 8:30 and Sebastian was, surprisingly nervous. He watered a house plant, nervously. He thought about getting something, a gift, a card maybe, that could be funny, but he was pretty sure Jim would actually kill him if he did so, he'd file that as a maybe. Eventually he did hear a car stop outside, he checked his watch, 8:30pm exactly, he grabbed a coat and smiled, fucking typical.

Jim had considered taking the same car as Sebastian to the bar, but decided that it would be an undeniably stupid move. He settled for going to the venue alone, forcing himself to stand awkwardly outside, anxiously checking his watch every thirty seconds, wondering why the driver was taking so Fucking long. Jim wasn't used to feeling nervous (or anything besides annoyance) but for some reason, Sebastian knew just how to get under his skin. /Fuck him,/ Jim thought, /that asshole is probably making the driver late on purpose/.

Sebastian did not control the traffic, but if Jim asked he would claim he'd arranged the pile up on main street specially, to create suspense and arrive fashionably late. Eventually getting out of the car he thanked the driver and very quickly found, well, his boss waiting for him outside a bar? weird. He looked so lost too it was surreal, Jim never looked lost, it was strangely endearing. "Hey, you showed up!"

/Oh my god, he's insufferable. He's killed nearly as many people as me, how the fuck can he be such a goddamned ray of sunshine/? Jim was really regretting the momentary lapse of judgement he had had when agreeing to this stupid meeting, and decided to make it known by looking dead at Sebastian (with what he hoped was a scowl) and replying "Unfortunately, yes."

Sebastian's grin widened, "no one's holding you hostage boss, it's a drink, you can leave if you want, or..." he cocked his head towards the bar before moving towards the door "moment of truth!" he called, disappearing inside.

Jim scowled harder and followed, now unsure why he was feeling nervous. Sebastian was here, there was no chance of him being stood up or humiliated - his hands had no reason to be shaking like that. Overly conscious of the blood pounding in his ears and the fact that he wasn't wearing a suit (he knew what to wear to bars, he'd met clients there before, he wasnt socially inept) he stuck as close as he could to Sebastian without seeming desperate. Shit, maybe he /was/ tense.

Somehow Jim looked even more terrified once they were inside, maybe it was just the lighting, or the slight smoke, Sebastian didn't think it was a particularly scary bar but maybe there was, something about it, he felt, weirdly,,, nauseous? but not in a totally bad way? he'd worry about it later he just wanted, hmm... "double gin and tonic, thanks" he offered a quick smile turning to Jim "how about you? whatcha craving hun?"

"Scotch, on the rocks." Jim decided to stop looking at the disgusting floor of the bar and up at Sebastian.

Sebastian passed a bill across to the bartender and was promptly supplied with a drink for each hand. He passed Jim the Scotch and wrinkled his nose slightly, "gross, I mean no judgement, but gross, wanna grab that table in the back?"

"Since when did you have standards?" Fuck, maybe that was too far, Sebastian was probably the only person in Eurasia who could put up with Jim, he should try not to push him if he could help it. "Sorry, I mean, sure." WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING??? Jim could not remember the last time he apologized to someone, he really needed to get this disgusting anxiety in check.

Sebastian almost dropped his fucking drink. "Did you just... apologize!? for insulting me?! holy shit, Jim are you feeling okay? did they drug your gross drink?" he was trying to stop visibly beaming it was ruining the bit but he couldn't help it, no one, ever born, was this much of a wild card, what the fuck, the adrenaline of just being around this freak was intoxicating.

"Fuck off Sebastian, if you don't like what I ordered you can buy me a bottle of top shelf whiskey. I fucking pay you enough, prick," Jim stormed over to the table without looking back at his employee (date??), slamming half of his drink in the process.

Sebastian did take a second to compose himself before following, okay, just gotta remember not to push him /too/ hard. He was, weirdly invested in Jim having a good time. He slid into the chair opposite his boss (god that was weird, but what else could he call it???) and decided they oughta start fresh, "this seat taken?"

Jim glared at him before taking a sip. "Yeah, and my boyfriend doesnt like when I talk to other men. He's 6'1 and built like a brick shit house." Jim knew that Sebastian was 6'0. He hoped it was a point of contention. He also hoped he wasn't projecting.

The slight did not go unnoticed but coming from Jim any quip about height felt ridiculous. Sebastian grinned, "oh he sounds cute, from what I can tell, its possible my bar is low, I've recently been told I have no standards"

"I've seen much prettier." Jim held eye contact with Sebastian - it was nearly deadpan, but somehow, flirtatious? He was just trying to psych Sebastian out, nothing else. Obviously.  
Just,,, psyching him out.

Sebastian eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, something about this was weirdly, exhilarating. "why do you have my height memorized?"

"It's my job to know everything about everyone all the time," Jim said, trying to be nonchalant. He was finally feeling like he was in control again. "And besides, I'm sure you know mine."

Jim was 5'8" and a half. "of course, 5'7"."

Jim's eyes twitched and his fingers clenched around his glass. He took a sip in an attempt to hide it - keyword, attempt. "Close enough."

Sebastian grinned but did feel a distant pang of guilt for being a dick about it (Distant), "but hey, we're in the same boat, neither of us have imaginary boyfriend beat, he towers over us mere mortals"

Jim rolled his eyes and finished his drink. Was he having, fun? Sebastian did bring him occasional amusement, but that was when he was focused and sweaty and willing to follow Jim's orders to a fucking t. But in a mediocre bar??? While fucking joking about his height????? "Are you gonna buy me something else or did I just get the one drink?"

Sebastian looked from Jim's nearly empty glass to his own half full drink, he smirked "of course! where are my manners?" he downed the gin in one and got to his feet taking the glasses with him, "be right back, try not miss me!" He winked before turning on his heel and making his way back to the bar, humming lightly as he went, he was starting to feel a slight buzz from the alcohol and it wasn't unwelcome, he felt good. As he waited for their drinks he flirted a little with someone sporting what appeared to be a large tattoo of a standard printer, cute. Mission complete he returned to Jim and passed him his Scotch, "so, did you?"

"Hardly, I was distracted by that obtrusive piece of office equipment up by the bar." Jim, for some reason, was offended not only by Sebastian's decision to flirt with anyone, but specifically by his terrible choice in target. "Seriously, you really do have /no/ standards."

It took a second for Sebastian to realize, what exactly Jim was taking about, it hit him and a smile spread slowly across his face, "what!?" he asked in affected shock at Jim's distaste, "He was cute! you don't think so?"

"I just think you should play within your league." Jim smiled in spite of himself. He didn't really drink often, or at all - too busy running a crime empire. He really hoped he wasnt getting drunk. He took another drink. "His face was a solid six, body would've been an eight but that atrocity brought it down to a five, from his clearly poor life decisions and whatever he put in your drink I can only guess that his personality is a zero."

Sebastian stared. At Jim, then at the drink. "are you fucking kidding?" he wasn't even mad, but he genuinely couldn't tell if Jim was fucking with him, which was kinda, fun if he was honest with himself. "nonono,,," he tried to stop smiling, he'd potentially been drugged by someone with a printer tattoo!!! it wasn't funny!!! he couldn't stop smiling, "did motherfucking inkjet drug me??????"

Jim was a little bit thrown, he genuinely thought that Sebastian would've taken that, different. "I mean, you could try it and find out. I'll just call a car to take you home and then torture inkjet to death all by myself."

Sebastian stared. It was becoming a habit but he was allowed, weird ass fucking circumstance. "no I'll,,,, take you word for it... sorry, it just, wasn't really the most interesting thing you said,,," he pushed the drink to the side a bit, didn't want to forget and accidentally take a swig, though that would be, a little hilarious. He eyed his boss suspiciously for a moment, "do you have a fucking type?"

It was Jim's turn to stare. Probably a bad idea, as making prolonged eye contact with Sebastian while his brain was stuck on a loading screen did nothing but make him look more vulnerable than he would like. "Uh," what was he supposed to fucking say?? "What?"

Sebastian thought for a second, did he? want to dig into this? yes. yes he actually really did, "well, ok, you judge on a ten point system so you clearly have an ideal, like, there is a ten, hypothetically,,,, and if I should 'stay in my league' or whatever weird ass shit u said, you have some idea,,," he narrowed his eyes a little and smirked, ",,,of how I rank, dontcha?"

Jim could feel his face getting hotter. Was he, panicking? Fucking ridiculous, he was never drinking again. "Sebastian, I don't have an 'ideal'. I'm just right." His mind was racing, he should play this situation like he normally would, but for some reason he wanted, to be honest? "Face, eight - no, seven - body, ten, personality.... six." Jim paused, he was feeling kinda light headed. He had said that Sebastian's face was a seven but, fuck, looking at it now it was so Obviously a nine. If only he would say something stupid and make Jim forget how fucking hot he was. "Anyways, you have a twenty-four on their eleven, they aren't even worth the price of a drink."

The smile grew, almost like a cancer! he was being a dick! he knew he was being a dick! he could! not stop jesus christ! "body's a fucking ten???? and imaginary bf is a 6'1" brick shit-house holy shit you do have a type!!! I fucking knew it!" Jim did look, a little bit sick, ",, you aren't half drunk enough to be having this conversation are you?"

"No, I'm not." Jim took another drink. "You aren't offended that I only gave you a six on your personality?"

Sebastian grinned, "tens are boring, cmon, list to me the ways in which I don't measure up this I need to know, what does the man who orchestrates intricate murders, for both business and pleasure, think I'm lacking in social graces"

"You're annoying." Another sip. God, he felt terrible. "And you rely too heavily on sarcasm, you're never serious, what kind of assassin isn't serious?"

Sebastian tried not to take that the wrong way, "I would argue," he stood up, pouring his roofies into a fern behind his chair, "that I am a very serious assassin and simply a sarcastic dinner guest. Some of us try not to live our jobs." He winced a little at his own tone, maybe a little defensive. Maybe he could fix it. Jim really did look, out of place the least he could fucking do was try, he sighed, "sorry, unfair, we have, very different jobs, I guess I just, uh, compartmentalize yeah." He offered a small smile reaching out a hand for Jim's glass, "refill, boss?"

"Yeah, sure," Jim looked at Sebastian. "First though, why are you being nice? I didn't know you liked me." Jim really felt off. It had been a long time, but he was pretty sure this wasnt what drunk felt like. Oh, fuck.

Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment n took the glass, he smirked, "everybody likes /you/, obviously," he took Jim's glass. "and I'm always nice" he deflected. "same order?" he asked holding up the empty drink.

"Seb, wait, I might've-" Jim winced, he really really REALLY did not want to say this, but, it would likely save unnecessary embarrassment in the near future. "I might, have made, a /very/ slight miscalculation?" He waved towards the drink. "Also, shut up, you're not nice, you're a total bitch, do you want a raise or something? You could just ask me darling."

Seb's stomach evaporated. He didn't know where his brain was but it definitely didn't feel like it was inside his skull anymore "did you... get drugged?"

Jim full on grinned. "Wouldn't be the first time, now stop deflecting, Sebastian. We should really finish this conversation before my speech starts slurring."

Sebastian glared, this was a, somewhat sobering revelation. "I didn't fucking drug you, obviously, call a fucking car Jim,,, slight miscalculation, fuck you." The speech wass directed at Jim, obviously, idiot, but Sebastian eyes were roving for inkjet, and anyone else who's face he could recognize from near the bar. There was a small switchblade very subtly resting in his inner coat pocket and another along the sole of his left shoe. They suddenly felt very eager to make an appearance.

"Hey," Jim grabbed Sebastian's wrist, his voice lowering an octave as he tried to hold on to his head for just five more minutes. "Relax. I can't clean anything up right now, so leaving a mess would have unusually severe consequences. Cool down before you kill someone, babe." Babe? Where the fuck did that come from. Oh well, he'd just pretend he didn't remember saying it later. He reached the hand not on Sebastian's into his pocket, grabbing his phone to text one of his drivers but of fucking course it slipped from his grip before he could even look at the screen.

Sebastian's reflexes were evidently returning as he barely even noticed himself grab the phone out of the air and enter Jim's password. "... did you just call me babe?" He was still looking. He shouldn't still be looking. Also if he didn't cut someone to shreds pretty soon he was going to combust. He kept looking.

"Sebastian look at me." This was a gamble, Jim had no idea how fucked up he looked right now and Sebastian was,,, Sebastian. Eye contact could just make him more likely to fly off the handle. He said it again, more forcefully, "Look at me."

It was an effort, but Sebastian ripped his eyes from the rest of their surroundings and looked at his employer, orders are orders and it did feel a bit more like a job than a night out right now. Oh... fuck. He looked, well, not great, fuckfuckfuck, but no, okay,,, the knives fell out of his conscious mind, he needed to, take care of this "okay," he moved to offer Jim a support if he needed it, maintaining eye contact, he felt a little like that was all that was keeping him sane? just a little. "lets go," he muttered.

Jim's vision was starting to swim a bit now and it was all he can do to stay focused on Sebastian. He was certainly not happy that he was being forced to rely on him right now, but he was also pretty sure that the only reason Sebastian hadn't started a fucking knife fight was his bizarre intervention. Weird. When the cool night air hit Jim's face, he was suddenly aware of how fucking serious Sebastian looks. That was rare, and unpleasant. He'd have to fix that. "Hey, thanks for the drinks stud, I had a lot of fun but I really don't let guys take me home until the second date."

Sebastian glanced down at the man he was, essentially holding upright at this point. Seb himself was, tense, yes, but he managed a small smile, "well I normally don't let anyone fucking touch you and walk away with more than 3 fingers but I guess we're both breaking rules tonight, hon"

"That's the second time you've called me hon tonight," Jim was fucking drifting, holy shit, he had lost all his resolve. He just had to make it until the car got here, it was only, it was only, fucking, "Sebastian. I, fuck, how long?"

Sebastian's mind,,, either raced a billion miles an hour or just stopped moving completely, he genuinely couldn't tell. "hm?" He nervously checked his watch, when was this fucking car going to show up, "uh, yeah,, how long what?"

"Car, what else? /Shit/," Jim saw a vignette form around his vision and felt himself going. Fuck this shit, he wasn't going to panic, he'd passed out before. He looked up at Sebastian and managed to get out, as bitter as possible "I'm almost 5'9, asshole," before losing consciousness.

Sebastian felt a surge of panic as he caught the full weight of James Moriarty, but it wasn't much and he very easily just, picked the guy up. He let himself study the (forcibly) relaxed sleeping face, Jim scowled a little even sleeping, Sebastian smiled a little, "I know." he whispered to, no one anymore, he didn't know who he was trying to comfort at this point, himself? without thinking he pressed a light kiss to Jim's temple. He blinked. Little kisses were a habit he picked up from his mom, apparently ingrained enough to just, pop out like that? okay, cool? maybe his drink had been stronger than he thought jesus christ, he shook off the thought. He was a professional. The car pulled up, finally, and he offered directions to Jim's apartment and took his boss inside. Hm, Jim would have a doctor make sure everything was fine medically in the morning but Seb actually hadn't, anticipated the awkwardness of, getting Jim to bed. He couldn't just, leave him in a bed like this? okay no this was fine, he was already wearing a tshirt, Sebastian removed shoes, jacket, belt, and jeans, and got Jim under the covers of his bed. He surveyed the scene. Jim was safe. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and brushed some hair out of his, drugged employer's face... fucked up night. "night," he mumbled, again to, pretty much no one. He moved to the living room and found a couch, he pulled out his phone in one hand and a knife in another. Now that Jim was safe some remnant of the anger he had felt in the bar was returning, he texted a few contacts, checked a few lists, looked into his options, track-down wise, his left hand toying with the switchblade almost unconsciously. He fell asleep on Jim's couch with vendettas colouring his more creative mental facilities.


	3. Jim's - June 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was addicting, this was exhilarating, he was a professional goddamn assassin but this was maybe the Most apt example of what some adrenaline junkies call, flirting with disaster. Disaster looked /adorable/. "James, Moriarty, oh, my, god." He tried to look back for his own coffee, he could not force his eyes off his employer's face. "Mortified looks /excellent/ on you, by the way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Discussion of nonconsensual drugging, language, mention of needles, mention of drinking, mention of sex, mention of blood, partial nudity, jim is a morosexual***

When Jim woke up sun was streaming through the window and filling his bedroom with soft golden light. Fuck, his head hurt. What the hell did he do last night? He sat up, and then immediately blacked out a little and fell back on the bed. That wasn't gonna work, he rolled over, searching for his phone, finding it on the nightstand. Tasting bile in his mouth, he sat up slowly this time. 11:30, he really got fucked up last night. He saw his texts with Sebastian; so they went out drinking. He was not the type to over do it, maybe he had a momentary lapse of judgement. Anyways, he needed coffee. He got out of bed (cautiously) and made his way to the kitchen. He didn't know how he could've gotten black out drunk, that was just, irresponsible. He made a full pot of coffee, he fucking needed it. Walking through the living room, back to his bed, he noticed Sebastian passed out on the couch. That was new, Jim would've ordered him a car home. His eyes fell from his employees perfect hair and jagged nose to the knife that Sebastian was clutching in his right fist. Why the fuck was this idiot sleeping with a knife?? Oh. Ohhhhhh.

Jim dropped the coffee mug.

The crash was almost instantaneous and Sebastian was on his feet in less than a second, knife drawn, though he was admittedly, moderately disoriented. "w-" he saw Jim and it all came rushing back. Fuck. But also, not fuck no it was ok, conscious Jim was good, even if he did look a little... Sebastian flipped the knife away, running his free hand through his hair. He'd slept on a couch and probably looked a bit like a mess, which wasn't priority number 1 but did, worm its way into his train of thought for some reason. "How's your head? how much do you remember? you probably shouldn't be straining yourself too much just yet actually, I'll text for a doctor, do you feel numb anywhere? here let me-" He moved closer to take Jim's wrist, checking the pulse with two fingers and running a few quick calculations in his head. He met Jim's eyes and realised he was being... "uh," he let go of his boss's wrist, "I mean,,, g'morning."

"Do you want some coffee?" Jim pointed behind him towards the kitchen, pointedly ignoring Sebastian's questions about how much he remembered from last night. "A doctor would be nice, I need the heaviest pain meds I can get my hands on." Jim's memories were really hazy but he remembered enough to know that he had disclosed a lot of sensitive information to Sebastian, even if he hadn't said anything outright. He'd have to gauge the situation before he let on how much he knew. "I'd like to point out that I was right about your terrible taste. You should let me weigh in on whoever you decide to let drug me next."

Well, he'd be lying if he said that didn't gut him a little. Thankfully he was something of a professional liar. He rolled his eyes and moved past Jim into the kitchen, "go back to bed, you shouldn't have any fucking coffee until we figure out whats potentially still in your blood stream"

"In case you forgot, I'm still your boss Sebastian. A little bit of rohypnol isnt gonna change that." He playfully tapped Sebastian on the small of his back as he passed him on the way to the coffee machine. Sebastian wasn't going to take this sweet caffeine from him. "I'm fine, see! I'm having fun! There's nothing like a little date rape to reset the system. Besides, I was never in any real danger, you could've gutted that fucker in a second."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. So he remembered inkjet at least. "If I remember correctly I was strongly discouraged from doing any gutting," he stated casually, suddenly moving very quickly, just beating his still slightly groggy employer to the coffee pot and lifting it to rest on top of the fridge. It was a low blow but he felt strongly about it. "Bed." he stated plainly, nodding in the direction of Jim's room.

"Sebastian, are you really still teasing me about my height? I thought we were past that! We bonded and shit!" Jim was actually, disappointed at how serious Sebastian was taking everything. He, missed, when Sebastian was being an asshole? What the fuck. "Come on, what happened to when you were nice?"

It was turning into a very trying morning for Sebastian Moran and he'd been conscious, less than 10 minutes. He leaned against the fridge, staying firmly in his position between whatever traces of who knows what were still in Jim, and the other drug this freak was apparently dead set on mixing with the mystery. "We're still bonding, I'm trying to stop you from accidentally and embarrassingly shutting down your own organs, it's very intimate, I feel we're closer already," he deadpanned.

Jim rolled his eyes and leaned against the doorframe. "Come with me."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. He couldn't entirely shake the feeling he was being tricked somehow but that was quite possibly just the effect of knowing Jim. "... yeah ok." He took a small mug off the drying rack and poured some coffee for himself before pouring the rest down the drain, he wasn't taking chances. He took a sip and followed his directive.

"Don't act like I'm torturing you, god, you're the one who decided to sleep on my couch." Jim turned around to look Sebastian in the eyes and tried not to soften, but fuck, he was pretty, and holy shit that made it fucking hard. "Thank you, by the way."

Hm, that was... different. Jim's eyes were a rich, deep, brown, incidentally, just as a note, a point of interest, a fun fact. A warmth returned that Seb hadn't actually realized he'd been missing. He smiled, it was small, but genuine, "of course." Hm, he'd been looking too long, he looked away, no that was weird, he looked back, HHMMM, he took another sip of coffee. "so! are you getting a specialist or should I call someone?"

"Fuck, yeah, I guess you won't let me do anything till I get checked out huh?" Jim grabbed his phone and texted one of his doctors to come check his levels. Then he put his phone down, and, he was at a loss. He looked at Sebastian, and, kept looking. He didn't know what to do next. "So," God, his throat was dry. "Are you gonna give me anymore pet names or am I stuck with boss?"

Sebastian opened his mouth. He closed it again. Well. He took another sip of coffee, he should always carry a mug of something it was proving to be an invaluable social crutch. "mmmaybe I will," this was a mistake, "if you want more pet names you just have to ask," he was making a mistake, "you don't have to get fucked up and start calling me babe"

Jim considered saying he didn't remember that. He really, really did. He even considered passing it off as an attempt to get Sebastian's attention in a critical situation. But for some reason it felt, unfair? Like he was cheating Sebastian out of something? He couldnt, admit to it though, that would be worse, what, was he supposed to do? What was the third option??? Jim decided, silence.

Sebastian stared at him. He looked, stuck. Seb sighed, smiled in spite of himself, and leaned against the other side of the door. "So, what?" he asked, smirking, "last night I'm babe and now I'm getting the silent treatment? is this a lover's spat? what'd I do?"

"Sebastian, do you want me to call you babe?" Jim really didn't know why he felt more humiliated at this than at accidentally getting drugged and having to be carried like a child back to his apartment.

Sebastian hummed slightly and pretended to mull it over. It was the best cover he could come up with for, kind of mulling it over. He, didn't entirely mind it, did he... huh. "You've called me worse" he supplied.

"You're full of shit." Jim wasn't gonna be fucking teased by the man who wouldn't let him have /coffee/ cause he was concerned about Jim's well being. "You're a special kind of asshole Moran, you know that?" He said it angry, but he was smiling.

Sebastian grinned, "I must have excellent bedside manner, you're acting more like yourself already!" He finished off his coffee and hummed pleasantly, maybe it wasn't a shitty morning after all, Jim didn't look like he was planning on dying anytime soon. He leaned over and kissed Jim's forehead, just to piss him off, before heading back to the kitchen to wash his mug, "I think you're special too, dear" he called playfully behind him.

When Sebastian planted a kiss on Jim's forehead, it sparked something in him. He remembered that exact feeling, like fucking clear as a bell. What the fuck?? Also, why was Sebastian acting like his fucking boyfriend not making him uncomfortable?? Why did this domestic shit kinda turn him on???? "Sebastian, you haven't, done that before have you?"

Sebastian dropped his fucking mug. Thankfully he caught it before it hit the floor and hopefully, Jim wasn't paying attention. "... I don't recall"

Jim broke into a wicked grin as he realized something, head whipping towards the kitchen. He feigned a horrified grasp. "Sebastian, you didn't, kiss me while I was under the influence of date rape drugs did you!?"

Sebastian winced. He was grateful he wasn't actually facing Jim because there was a 3% chance he was, slightly blushing, and he was gonna need his body to Cut That Shit Out /Immediately/. "I- uuhhhhh" cool, yup, very good. No, this was, ridiculous, he was being ridiculous, it didn't fucking matter! "Ok, no, sure: yes," he half grimaced half laughed, this was stupid, "I kissed your forehead, after /you/! got yourself drugged and passed out on me!" He took a soapy sponge to the mug and added "you're, genuinely inhuman though boss, I've no idea how /that/ sensation sticks out in your little robot brain, has no one else ever kissed your fucking forehead?"

"If I remember correctly, it was you who flirted with the walking office supplies who drugged our drinks!" Robot brain? Jim had to stop himself from laughing at Sebastian's deflection. When he realized it was cause he thought it was cute, he quickly sobered up. "Sebastian you don't have to drug me if you want to make out with me! I know you're an assassin but I didn't think you were capable of noncon!"

"I will non-consentually Kiiilllll yoooouuuu" Sebastian sang, not looking anywhere near Jim, rinsing off the mug and putting it to dry. Now there was nothing to do with his hands, hm, fuck. He, pretty genuinely couldn't think straight. His brow furrowed, "Hm..." he blinked. "Hey sorry I think I'm repressing this conversation as we're having it, what did you like, just fucking say?"

"I said why the fuck did you kiss my forehead while I was passed out and then try to lie to me about it?" Jim was leaning on his hand and smiling at Sebastian, pleased with how flustered he was getting.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes and smiled. Was this super fucking uncomfortable? Sure. But he'd be fucking damned if he was gonna let this little sadist get off on his discomfort. "I just like you when you're sleeping, you're much cuter when you shut the fuck up for a second, and lying to you? is just more fun, sweetheart, don't take it personally."

"'Sweetheart'? Sebastian what the fuck? What happened to boss?" Jim got up and walked to the kitchen, leaning against a wall. "Did twelve hours of taking care of me turn you into my mom? I know you wanted to make me less tense but I didn't know you were taking this approach."

Sebastian rolled his eyes, "I can't believe I raised such fucking menace." He took a small break from,,, banter? were they bantering? God this was fucking weird, he didn't know. He shut the fuck up for a sec to examine the face grinning at him with trademark self-satisfaction. He did actually look, less out of it than he had when he first woke up, which stood to reason but was still, comforting to see. He opened his mouth to ask if Jim still felt drugged but paused. He was /not/ Jim's mother, and besides he didn't need to be so on the case about this, there was a- his train of thought was cut short as Jim's phone started buzzing on the counter. Perfect exactly, yes, - there was a doctor coming. There was a doctor here it seemed. "that's our medic? should I get the door?"

"Yeah," Jim felt, kind of disappointed. He was genuinely having a good time, and not because Sebastian was having a bad one? Talking to Sebastian like they were, friends, was just, nice??? The idea of having a friend because it was nice, and not to further his agenda was quite foreign to Jim, and he couldn't quite put his finger on why the word "friend" felt like it was missing something. "After you let him in would you make me some coffee? Some asshole drank some of mine and then poured the rest of it down the drain."

Sebastian smiled, for someone so absolutely impossible to deal with there was something, weirdly refreshing about spending time with Jim, it was, well easy was maybe the wrong word given their current predicament, drug wise, but,, good. There was something just good about hanging out with Jim. He was almost sorry to be bringing someone else inside, it might spoil the fun. He thought about the drugs again for a moment and decided no it was fine he was actually, very relieved there was a doctor now. He got the door. A suprisingly young man with a gangly form blinked up at him, "you're not Mr. Moriarty." Sebastian blinked back, "No I'm,,," shit wait who was this dude? presumably he worked for Jim, presumably he knew, everything,,, presumably. but Sebastian was in the wrong line of work for presumptions. He flustered himself slightly with his own awkward pause and immediately wished he had not offered to get the door, how incredibly easy that would have been. "... a friend. I'm a friend, of his. I was,,, there, last night. Uh,,, come in," He moved to let the man upstairs, "I'm uh,, just making coffee."

Jim had realized when the doctor called that he had not yet put on pants. As annoying (embarrassing) as that was, it was nowhere near as annoying (absolutely fucking mortifying) as the realization that Sebastian had fucking undressed him last night. He quickly pulled on a pair of jeans before heading back into the living room to meet the doctor. He wasn't, Jim's favourite, but he was too scared to ask any questions ever and besides, he was just cute enough to maybe, /maybe/ make Sebastian a little jealous. But like, just to fuck with him. Jim surrendered up his arm for the blood work and tried to discreetly watch Sebastian's movements in the kitchen. He was still in the same clothes he wore last night... maybe Jim could, offer him some? No, dumb, dumb, that was nice. Jim didn't do nice.

Sebastian found everything easily and, did actually pride himself a bit on his coffee... not that he was trying to, impress anyone??? jesus, he did need more caffeine. He put out three mugs, three? "Oh hey," he turned to look at the doctor, who appeared to be concentrating on blood pressure reading, sorry to interupt doc, "sorry, we were wondering if he could, have coffee? figured we should ask you just to, make,,, sure." The doctor raised an eyebrow. He was a dick. Sebastian decided he was a dick he fucking hated this guy. He did check his watch though and thought on it for a second before saying "no that should be fine." and returning to his work. He had well kept, curly brown hair, light green eyes, and tan, freckled skin. He sucked. Whatever. Sebastian made three coffees.

Jim wasn't a stranger to Sebastian's mannerisms and he felt himself breaking into a smile as his doctor ran the results. Sebastian was jealous. Jim managed to repress his minds inquiries as to why Seb would be jealous of his young, attractive doctor sensitively touching his upper body and gloat in the fact that he had once again made Sebastian uncomfortable. This game was fun. He got up from the couch, still holding the cotton ball to the needle prick on his arm and walked over to the kitchen to receive his coffee (fucking finally). When he got there though, he gave Sebastian a look. "Why are there three?"

"we-" oh my god, /we/? it wasn't his fucking apartment. No wait no, he just had to lean into it. He smiled. "We have a guest hon, and I mentioned coffee at the door" he turned to the doctor, "milk, sugar?" the man looked a little taken a back but just said "oh. a little milk, thank you." and turned back to the small device Sebastian didn't understand in his hands.

Jim half noticed that that was the third time Sebastian had called him hun in the space of 4 hours, and even though it was unprofessional, he, didn't mind it?? "Sebastian, he's not a guest, he's an employee. Can I have my coffee now, you dick?"

Sebastian grinned and passed Jim a mug, turning to add milk to another and bring it for the doctor. "Sorry, I'm Sebastian, didn't get your name," he smiled placing the mug on the side table beside the man, and sitting on the couch opposite, taking a sip of his own sweet sweet second coffee. The doctor looked, confused, "... Estevez." he said eventually. "Pleasure," replied Seb, unbothered, "so how's he looking doc?" Dr. Estevez narrowed his eyes at a small screen, "he should, actually be fine. You're lucky but it seems this wasn't designed to leave much of a trace at all. I wouldn't run any marathons today but you should be fine to continue business as usual, sir." Sebastian blinked, turning his gaze up to Jim again "Do people actually fucking call you sir?"

Jim grinned in spite of himself. "Yeah, not all my employees are as informal as you. In fact, you're the only fucking one." Jim knocked back about a quarter of his mug. "Thank you, Estevez, feel free to go." He sat down on the same couch as Sebastian, not beside him, but looking at him from the opposite corner.

The young doctor finished his coffee as he quickly packed up his equipment and Sebastian stared, a little lost in thought. "I'll get back to you with more specifics later today, sir." God that was fucking weird. "The only one?" Sebastian asked at last, he was really having trouble wrapping his head around this, it just didn't make any fucking sense, "I'm the only one who doesn't pull, this shit?" he gestured noncomittally at Dr. Estevez's general person before realizing that was maybe slightly rude and turning quickly to the Very uncomfortable looking young man, "no offense."

"None... taken?" Estevez finished packing up his things and stood awkwardly for a few beats before briskly walking out of the apartment. "Goodbyeeee!!" Jim called, before turning to Sebastian. "Yes, you're the only one who doesn't 'pull this shit' you're also the only one who invites me out for drinks and gets catty over me having other employees."

"Excuse me? Catty? The way I remember it I was perfectly fucking civilised," Sebastian was smiling, there was something, kind of exciting? about being the,,, Only One? Lame, ridiculous. "You're the freak who couldn't understand my making coffee for The Help. Is this seriously your typical working dynamic? this dude is your doctor and he's, palpably terrified of being in the same room as you, you don't find that a little fucking insane?"

"The Help?!?" Jim had to work to keep himself from laughing. This freak was hilarious. "I don't expect you to understand the intricacies of my system Sebastian, you're my special snowflake. When people are scared of me they do what I tell them, but you just do what I tell you to anyways so I don't worry about the fact that you can't comprehend the fact that I am, in fact, terrifying." Jim took a drink of coffee. "Do you want, clothes that you didn't sleep in?"

Sebastian considered this. Nope. Nope nope nope. Nope!!! "I'm alright, thanks though." Cool nice, casual, nice. "... and um,,, are you? not saying you aren't or anything," He smiled, Jim hadn't had time yet to fix his slight bedhead yet, "but, hm, would you, /objectively/ describe yourself as,,, scary?"

Jim looked at Sebastian, a little puzzled. "Do you find me scary?"

Sebastian hummed and took another sip of coffee. "Probably should, shouldn't I." He grinned. "No, not even a little."

Jim laughed a little, running a hand through his hair. "I wouldn't say, objectively. I think that with the work I've done I've certainly cultivated a reputation of mass fear." He looked at Sebastian's wrinkled shirt and jeans. This asshole slept /holding a knife/. "Are you sure you don't want something like, clean? That doesn't have drool on it?" Jim pointed to a previously wet spot on Sebastians shoulder. "Jesus, that's not, mine is it?"

Sebastian pulled the fabric away from his body slightly to survey the mark. "... I have no idea." he smiled slightly, cute. He squinted a little thinking it over, "... yeah okay, you know what? I'll take a shirt." Sebastian stood to pull the present shirt over his head, wincing a little as his left shoulder, reminded him he'd slept on a couch, whatever.

Jim blanked. This couldn't be the first time hed seen Sebastian shirtless, could it? He took a sip of coffee, trying to hide the fact that he was, mesmerized by Sebastian's body. Not just his toned chest and arms, but the scar that ran from his left shoulder down across his pec and the one that resembled shrapnel scars along his right side, the hair running from the middle of his stomach to,,,,, What the fuck. Nope, no, no, no. "Are you, o, kay." Jim managed to get out. He looked at the ceiling. God, his libido needed to chill the fuck out before something he couldn't talk his way out of happened.

Sebastian rubbed his shoulder diatractedly, "yeah I'm fine, just slept somewhere dumb or something I-" he noticed Jim, staring at the ceiling? he looked, there was, nothing on the ceiling. "... guess. ... are you, okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah, no, I was just thinking. You can grab whatever you want from the dresser, second drawer." Jim's brain was firing at 100 miles an hour but he managed to keep his cool, making eye contact with Sebastian, smiling, winking, okay, say something, normal. "Don't look in the other ones." Okay, weird joke, but like, him joke?? Fuck, Jim mentally willed Sebastian to turn around so the battle between the lookathimlookathimlookathim side of his brain and the dontlookforfuckssakedontlook side would cease.

Sebastian did laugh a little, what a fucking weirdo. He threw his shirt on top of his jacket, which was decorating the arm of the other couch, and went to find this second drawer. There were, thankfully, a somewhat wide variety of options, and he did find something that fit with surprising ease, it would be big on Jim so he assumed it was more for wearing around the flat, which he evidently did, because it smelt like him. Which was literally so fine that it didn't even cross his mind.

Jim watched Sebastian go into his room. He watched him search for something in the dresser, wondering how a back could be so fucking hot. He watched him put on the shirt. He hated that he was disappointed that Sebastian was, covered, fuck. He finished the coffee and went to refill it in the kitchen and realized that he was half hard, fuck. Fuck. This. Shit. He considered taking some Jack Daniel's down from the cupboard to top off the coffee, he definitely needed it, but Sebastian would probably have a conniption and call Estevez back and that, Jim definitely /couldn't/ handle. He pulled himself up on the counter and called out to his assassin. "Sebastian, /why/ aren't you scared of me?"

Sebastian hummed, finding his way back to his coffee, "mmmyou know, I can't quite place it. It's like,,, okay, look at it like this, are you scared of me?"

"Of course not, you're a little bitch." Something in Jim's mind though, was scared of what Sebastian was currently doing to him inadvertently. He shifted, holding the coffee mug with both hands on top of his lap.

Sebastian grinned, "yeah, well, the feeling is somewhat mutual." Two fucking hands on a mug, he was ridiculous, he was looking like that on purpose, he was being cute, objectively in a way that literally anyone would find cute and he probably had some kind of fucking agenda for it too. What a dick.... was kinda cute though. "I dunno... like I get, that you're a conniving, ruthless, unpredictable serial killer, who could turn on me at any time... but thats kind of just part of your charm? makes it funnier when you won't admit you have a cold or don't get pop culture"

"Well yeah but like, there's clearly a difference in our power dynamic, right? I'm your boss, you /should/ be scared of me. Also pop culture isn't even culture that's literally an oxi moron, fuck you." Jim was grinning, but the conclusions Sebastian might draw if he saw Jim half hard and hiding it after he had taken his shirt off were, sobering, to say the least.

Sebastian smiled, "sure, sure, everything you don't understand is just stupid." He met Jim's eyes, he looked, off somehow? Shit maybe he was being too mean, or maybe he was just being weird? fuuucccckkkk, no okay just be normal. He took a breath. He fucking smelt like Jim FUCK. "And, uh, I dunno... should I? be scared? are you planning on firing me anytime soon?"

"God, of course not, don't be stupid." Oof. That might've betrayed his feelings more than he would've liked. Did he need, to recover for that? "You're acting weird, why do you look like you're holding your breath?" Jim was out of coffee, but he, couldn't, get off the counter to get more. Shit. "Seb, fill up my mug. And don't fucking dodge my question either."

Sebastian squinted a little in mild confusion but not making sense, did sort of make sense coming from Jim. He finished his own cup and moved to take Jim's, "Sir, yes, sir," he eyes flew wide as he heard his own joke leave his lip, "holy fucking shit! Do you fucking get off on that crap?" He was being a dick but holy shit that was Too Funny what the hell. He grinned at the coffee pot, focusing on the pour. "Is that why you make terrified young doctors call you sir? He was kinda cute I mean I get it but wow, Jim, /wow/." He literally couldn't stop grinning as he offered the refill back to his boss, "and you must be losing it hon, /I/ feel /fine/."

Jim's face turned bright fucking red and he could feel it. There was nothing he could do to hide that, fuck. He considered praying for the first time in his life as Sebastian was literally Looking At His Dick, pouring Jim's coffee. At least, he had an easy out now? "Estevez calls me sir cause he's my employee, /Sebastian/, not that you would know what appropriate work relationships are like. You literally fucking took me on a date last night and now you're joking about me having a daddy kink!"

Hmmmm,,, he had kind of done that hadn't he. Had that been a date? It, had a little actually yeah. He'd be embarrassed about it later though, maybe, he tabled the issue for further consideration, literally his entire body and soul were too invested in this newest game. This was addicting, this was exhilarating, he was a professional goddamn assassin but this was maybe the Most apt example of what some adrenaline junkies call, flirting with disaster. Disaster looked /adorable/. "James, Moriarty, oh, my, god." He tried to look back for his own coffee, he could not force his eyes off his employer's face. "Mortified looks /excellent/ on you, by the way."

"I literally have the resources to end your short but annoying existence Moran." Jim's face was redder, embarrassment, or anger? Theres no way a boner could endure through whatever the fuck he was feeling, right? Right?? "You're lucky that you're fucking pretty, otherwise I would've fired you by now." Jim slammed the rest of his coffee and slid of the counter. God, how could he be so cute and so fucking infuriating at the same time? It was that stupid smirk, jesus christ, Jim would do anything to wipe that fucking look off his face.

Sebastian faltered, "pretty?" That hit,,, different. Okay, gotta get back on his bullshit real quick to mask, perhaps, the unaccounted for magnitude of, shock? Well he definitely felt,,, something. "Pretty? good sir, you forget yourself, face-wise I'm a 7, at most, I have it on excellent authority." he retrieved his coffee, he was fine, what a fucking come back. He gasped in mock-surprise "un-Less! oh my god have I been... previously deceived? you scoundrel." He literally couldn't stop smiling, he physically couldn't.

It was quick, but Jim knew Sebastian and he fucking caught it. Did Sebastian not know how to handle Jim calling him pretty? Ohohoho, Jim knew how to exploit weaknesses like no one else, this was his fucking territory. "Sure, I lied to you. It was pretty fucking easy Sebastian, and I had fucking rohypnol in my system. Your face is at least a nine, and I mean, your body," Jim wolf whistled and did an exaggerated swoon. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, looking Sebastian in the eyes with a straight face, only acutely aware that this put only about a foot of distance between them. "What are you gonna do about it, pretty boy?"

Well............. fuck. Well, fuck! WELL FUCK. Everything was fine. Sebastian opened his mouth. Nothing happened. He closed it. wellfuckwellfuckwellfuck! He took a sip of coffee. The steam was warm on his face. He put down the mug. His face was still warm. No. ...... Fuck no, no he didn't blush and he certainly wasn't currently blushing. Was he fucking blushing??!?!?!? He genuinely couldn't tell. He didn't want to know. He had the distinct feeling that someone was about to tell him anyway. "... I don't even call you sir," he mumbled. Fuck.

Jim felt, bad? Holy shit, he had, a conscience??? Fuck, and of course it had to be when it came to Sebastian. He smiled, but it wasn't mean, Sebastian really was just fucking cute. "I think, we're well past that point Seb. Oh, and mortified looks /excellent/ on you, babe."

Sebastian closed his eyes and sighed. He hasn't exactly realised he'd been holding his breath but oxygen was, it turned out, very calming. Was his face, definitely noticeably pinker around the cheeks and nose? Fucking, yeah. But whatever, literally, so what. He kept his eyes closed and scrunched up his nose a little. "... thanks." It was borderline genuine, gross, whatever.

Fuck. Seriously, like fuck. How the hell was he so goddamn cute? Jim noticed, for the first time, that Seb was also wearing his shirt. That was really hot. "Hey, where'd you go? You aren't gonna tease me about my potential kinks anymore? Look at me Seb, you can't call me by my full name and then clock out on me, honey."

Sebastian kept both eyes scrunched shut for a moment more, he wrapped both hands around his mug, maybe there was something comforting about it, maybe Jim wasn't just a conniving asshole,,,, maybe. He opened his right eye first, just to check if the coast was clear. Jim was, still there, hm. This was stupid, he blinked both his eyes open, winced, and met Jim's gaze. "..... 'potential'... yeah okay whatever." he rolled his eyes, still in a bit of a daze tho, he raised both hands to take another swig.

Jim's smile grew. "There, that wasn't fucking hard was it?" He put his mug down on the counter. "I was getting worried, you haven't even bugged me about the fact that I haven't eaten in 18 hours yet. I was scared you'd been possessed!"

Sebastian blinked. His brain fell out? like out of his head? there was just a pleasant hole in his skull. It was nice. His brain came back. Bastard. "you......" He blinked again. "Hm? ..... sorry, what?"

"Sebastian, you aren't having like, a stroke are you?" Jim stepped forward, essentially eliminating the space between them. "Is your face numb? Can you see more than one of me? You're freaking me out a little babe." Why did he keep doing that??? Why didn't he want to stop, with the fucking pet names? Why did it feel good in a completely genuine way????

Sebastian composed himself. He did this time, he'd been stupid, and now he was, back. He sighed and placed his mug on the counter, moving his hands instead to either side of Jim's head and planting another kiss lightly on his forehead before gently moving him, physically to the side, so that Sebastian could access the fridge. "You're just, literally stunning what can I say." he deadpanned, pulling a carton out, "Eggs?"

"Okay." Jim didnt think his body had ever produced so much dopamine. He felt, fucking, elated. He made sure he wasnt, y'know, and pulled himself up on the counter again, determined to heckle Sebastian until, until, Jim didn't know, but he was after something. "You look cute in that shirt. Blue is nice on you." It brings out your eyes, makes me want to - damn, keeping himself decidedly non horny would be harder than Jim initially thought.

It smells like you. NOPE! "Really? I've always been told I'm more of an autumn." Just make a fucking omlette. Just make some fucking eggs while he, sits there beside you on the counter and tells you you look cute wearing his fucking clothes??? Sebastian broke some eggs into a bowl and started whisking, checking a cupboard for spices, he'd be damned if he let this little distraction fuck up their breakfast.

"Sebastian, autumn, isn't a colour." This idiot slept with a FUCKING KNIFE IN HIS HAND. Why did that turn Jim on so bad????

Sebastian did laugh a little, smiling down at the frying pan, "It surprises me, not at all, that you don't know about the intricate world of," He turned slightly to look at Jim and gesture to the shirt with his spatula, "fashion."

"That's my fucking shirt, asshole!!" Damn, you look good in my clothes. "And I've pulled some favors for designers before, and you know, stolen from them." Jim spent too long looking at the scar on Sebastian's chin. Fuck, why was nothing in this kitchen as interesting as /him/?

Sebastian grinned and pointed the spatula, threateningly, "you're an agent of chaos," he informed, the very obvious agent of chaos, noticing for the first time how wrinkled his shirt was that was, unusual... because he had slept in it! His brain caught up, excellent, he was functional, all it took was 2 and a half coffees. "Change your shirt you look pathetic."

"You're the worst." It was payback time. Pulling his shirt over his head, he draped it over Sebastian's shoulder, kissed him on the cheek and whispered "Be right back sweetie." Grinning like a fucking hyena (maliciously, essentially, very proud of himself) Jim strolled to his room to look for something clean and non wrinkly.

Well, he could've, admittedly, thought that through a little better, just a smidge, fuck. Full disclosure, if he was honest with himself, purely for the sake of honesty!!! There was a scar he hadn't noticed before above Jim's left hip. He was toned and well, pretty, and Sebastian very much immediately didn't want to just be /looking/. Like, very immediately. He looked Jim up and down and- BUT He was gonna be, Chill. Just process the thought, file it away, don't turn around, don't watch Jim in the other room, do not. He turned around. "And what am I supposed to do with this?" he called, glancing at the wrinkled shirt, which, if anything, smelt even more like Jim, which was still,,, fine.

"I don't know, add it to your collection?" Jim was very pleased with himself. He went through the drawer and decided on a faded green on before the best idea he'd ever had came into his head. He grabbed a second shirt (grey) and went back into the kitchen. Sebastian seemed intensely focused on the eggs, not noticing that Jim had walked into the kitchen again. That was disappointing. "I can't decide. Which one?"

Bastard. Sebastian turned slowly, yup, still no shirt. "What, suddenly you've decided I have taste?" Well, he was being asked to look, so technically, that meant it would be rude not to! He stared. Fuck. He quickly looked at the eggs again like he needed to check them, he was a professional. Still, fuck. He was making this motherfucker breakfast the least he could do would be to stop being such a fucking distraction! what the fuck! ....Why was Sebastian even still there? He'd brought Jim home, stayed the night in case anything happened, and waited for a doctor to confirm that Jim was fine. Technically there was no reason for Sebastian to stick around. Why was he sticking around? .... Why didn't he /want/ to leave? He gave the eggs a stir and looked back. Jim's skin was light with the very slightest dusting of freckles across his collarbone. The hip scar was a little jagged at the upper end. It was starting to dawn on him that, part of, the answer to the question,,, of sticking around,,, might,,, "Green." Yeah no, nope, end of thought!!! He turned back to his eggs.

"Thank youu," Jim moved over to Sebastian so their hips were touching. "What kinda eggs are you making?"

BITCH. EVIL LITTLE FUCKER WHAT THE FUCK. "Well you have, approximately no groceries so I'm just going for a nice soft scramble, you do have white pepper? for some reason? so that'll be good." His voice was steady and normal. He could feel the warmth of Jim's skin though, and the asshole wouldn't. fucking. put. on. his. shirt. WHICH. WAS. FINE. He stirred the eggs. His heart beat was rising by the second. fuck. "Hey, either put on a shirt or fuck off ur gonna get a splash of hot butter." He fucking was too, idiot.

"Sebastian, danger is /fun/. I know that's your fucking philosophy, if you don't like the way I look you can just tell me." Jim was having so much fucking fun. "Is it done yet?"

Sebastian winced. He gave took the eggs of the heat, switched off the element and gave a few last stirs, he was looking for soft curding and he was getting it and there was literally no other information in his brain. ".... yup. Do you own, hm, plates? cutlery?" Just Fucking Leave! Just Go Get Something! Be Remotely Helpful! Just Stop Mother Fucking Standing There!!!

"Yeah, I'm not a fucking robot Sebastian." Jim went over to the cupboard and got down plates, which were literally right next to the mugs. "You literally got the mugs down yourself you weirdo." He opened the drawer where the cutlery resided and walked to the bedroom to put away the grey shirt, taking his dirty one from Sebastian's shoulder to dispose of as well. "You're no fun, you know that?"

Oh thank fucking god. ... now he kind of missed him though. .... bastard. He scowled at the eggs and heaped some onto either plate. "I'm no fun because I asked for plates?" he called, a little,, distracted. "Jim, it's your fucking apartment, I made you breakfast! if your idea of fun is a coffee fast I'm oh, so sorry for intruding." He focused on, breathing, and, he was pretty sure, got his fucking pulse back to an acceptable rate. Cool.

Jim walked out of his room, still holding the green shirt in his hand. "I would live my life on a coffee fast if it weren't for you." He sat down at the island and looked at Sebastian. "Eggs."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. He'd worked hard on that whole heart beat mess and he didn't appreciate being fucked with. Not that he was being fucked with. He felt resolutely, not fucked up by this entire situation. He passed Jim a plate. "So do you always walk around your apartment half naked? just wondering, just curious" How was this mother fucker so goddamn casual about this?! It was genuinely infuriating and not even a little bit hot.

"Why do you care what I do on my own time Seb?" Jim was very excited about his eggs. "Do you have a problem with, this?" He leaned back and gestured to himself, grinning.

Sebastian almost choked on his eggs. He could play that off so fucking easy though, this fucking freak Jesus Christ, "Problem with what? your general person? yes Jim, frankly you're the fucking worst." He was going to need to address the actual implications of the question though wasn't he, and before Jim pushed his new, so fucking funny little joke, somewhere it might affect more than Sebastian's heart beat. Okay no if this was just some fun little fucking game for Jim, Sebastian could fucking play too, it wasn't fucking, real, they were messing with each other. He could just hide in plain sight. Not hide. There was nothing to fucking hide there were just, maybe some thoughts about how his hands might fit around that waist, that he'd prefer to keep, to himself, or not at all! Maybe actually he didn't want any thoughts like that, even at all!!! fuck. He just had to be, fucking, normal. "I dunno," he narrowed his eyes slightly and pointed his fork at Jim, "if I didn't know any better I might think you were trying to seduce me, Sir."

Jim smiled deviously and shrugged, breaking eye contact and turning back to his delicious eggs. Was he doing that? What was the end of this game like, what happened if he won? Jim racked his brains, trying to come up with an answer that Made Sense, but he'd been quiet for too long now, fuck, better, just go with it? "Is it working?" Not looking at Seb, obviously, how could he admit to that and look at him?

Well... yeah. It really kinda was, wasn't it. He glanced at Jim, who seemed to be, really into the eggs actually, thank god, but looking also made Sebastian annoyingly aware of how much, watching someone ask if they were seducing you well enough and then eat the food you made them, is really just watching their mouth move. Jesus Christ. Sebastian hummed thoughtfully. He'd have to unpack that one later. "It's a little early for a one night stand don't you think? is," he checked his watch, "12:27 really /night/?"

"Somewhere it is," Jim looked up again. "Two things: 1) these are the best eggs I have ever eaten in my life, and 2) if we had sex, it would not be a fucking one night stand, Sebastian." Oh my god, he really just said that didnt he? Like in a genuine but disinterested tone??? But he fucking said it, and he meant it??? Did roofies cause brain fog and judgement impairment???? Yeah, but Jim couldn't really blame this on that could he?

Sebastian short-circuited. His ears were vermillion and he could feel it. "... th-anks" oh that was about an octave too high!!!! fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckdontthinkabouthavingsexwithyourbossfukcfuckfuckfuckSTOPITfuckfuckfuckfuckSTOP "-its my mom's recipe actually she does a trick, with a little bit of milk, and just the right, medium heat, you can feel when it's right if you put your hand over the pan-" what the fuck was he talking about?!?? why was he talking so fucking fast!??! His eyes were fixed on the wall behind Jim. If this was, literally any other person on earth, he would have laughed and moved on by now, why couldn't he laugh and move on???? why couldn't he move???? why did he suddenly feel the need to go over the entire history of eggs in the culinary arts??????? WHY HAD HE FUCKING STAYED TO MAKE EGGS????????

"You put your hand over the pan?" Jim was leaning forward, chin in one hand and fork in the other. He wasn't as interested in Sebastian's mom's secret egg recipe as much as he was with Sebastian, watching his mouth move, his eyes looking disinterestedly behind Jim, his stupid hair sticking up all over the place, did he shower in the mornings, usually? Maybe he'd take one here and Jim could maybe - mmmno, nope, this line of thinking could only end up one place and Jim was not interested in ending up there for the second time this morning.

"what?" ...what? ...oh the eggs! fuck!! He really ought to devote at least 3% brain power to listening to what he himself was saying, but no. "Oh! yeah... yeah it's,,, uh..." he was going to pass out and it was a sheer miracle that Jim apparently hadn't totally realized yet? or just, wasn't mentioning it???? no, actually, more likely this was all a terrible terrible dream. "It's uh, difficult at first but you can't trust the dials on an oven they're all, uh, different? a little? I guess... I dunno she..... yeah." Wow, smooth, elegant. Fuck. Wake up, steal a shirt, make breakfast, daydream about fucking your boss sitting 2 feet away, repress, improperly quote your mom's weird vendetta against all cookware. This was his great love story, his torrid romance. He felt slightly, as thought he might die. He took another bite. The eggs would keep him sane, they would be his anchor in the physical world. He was almost done his eggs. fuck.

"She sounds a little eccentric." Nice, Jim. Real fucking classy. Insult his mom, probably the one person in this world Sebastian actually likes. "Definitely a genius though." Jim leaned back as he finished his last bite of egg. "You know, if you ever get tired of killing people, let me know and you can - are you okay Seb?"

"What? Yeah, of course." Jesus fucking Christ he needed to pull himself together. He mentally, reassessed the situation, got himself up to speed. ....and you know what? He actually wasn't the only one being, a little fucking weird. "... sorry, did you just, make, explicitly clear that you would never have casual sex with me, call my mom "eccentric," and then /graciously offer/ to demote me to personal chef?"

"I didn't say I would never have casual sex with you, I said I wouldn't have casual sex with you /once/." This bitch was lying to his fucking face! Sebastian literally looked like he was going to puke. "And, Sebastian, listen, I know this might be hard for you to understand, but I was joking about the chef thing. I can make jokes, I'm not like, soulless."

Sebastian smiled, slowly. "I know you have a soul, Jim." He finished his eggs. He was actually, maybe fine? like maybe this was kind of, cute and fun? "I might guess, actually," he hummed, taking both their plates as he stood up, "that I'm one of few people alive who is privy to that very sensitive information."

"Oh, you're definitely the only one. Do you think I let Estevez know I have a conscience?" Jim was aware of the fact that he was half naked for the first time. Without Sebastian's bizarre overreactions to his appearance he felt, exposed? Jim put on his shirt as casually as he could and followed Sebastian to the sink. "Are you gonna wash those for me?"

Sebastian grinned, "of course, Sir." He started cleaning, was the smile a little smug? maybe, what about it. "And I dunno, I mean, you did thank him on his way out, boss, what if he starts getting ideas?"

"He's disposable, I can get other doctors. Are you calling me that just to piss me off?"

"What?" Sebastian asked in mock confusion, "not at all, why? Does it make you, uncomfortable?" He smiled but only because he couldn't help it. "And what do you mean /he's/ disposable, that's hardly a special selling point, /I'm/ fucking disposable Jim, you can get other hit men just as easy as other doctors, everyone on your fucking payroll is there by virtue of it being more convenient to keep us around than to have to replace us. I'm just saying, if you're getting soft on us, you can replace as many doctors as you want, the core of the issue, persists."

Jim scowled. "Sebastian, /you're/ not disposable. I could not find anyone as infuriating as you anywhere, trust me." Jim crossed his arms and leaned against the counter next to Sebastian. "I'm /not/ getting soft. And I'm not uncomfortable, I just don't like it when you call me sir."

Sebastian gasped slightly in mock-offence, "so you and Estevez have this fun kinky little game you play, and I'm not allowed? I really don't know how you want me to take that boss, am I just not your type? You can tell me, honest, I won't take offence, it'll only sting a little."

"Estevez's personality is a two, his face is an eight and his body is a seven. That's seventeen to your twenty seven Sebastian." Jim wasnt looking at Seb anymore. God, this was fucking embarrassing. Why couldn't he just, treat Sebastian like the rest of his employees?? "If you want to play a kinky game with me I'm sure we could figure something out, Sebastian."

Sebastian finished the dishes placing them in the drying rack and wiping off his hands on the towel by the sink. "Yeah?" He turned to Jim, and smiled, in a way some might describe as, evil, something it was possible he'd picked up from working for Jim Moriarty too long but who's to say. Jim was leaning on the counter and it only took a step to put them face to face. Adrenaline started coursing through his veins. Before he could convince himself not to, Sebastian lifted the bottom of his boss's shirt and slowly ran his thumb along the scar that had been stuck in his brain for what felt like forever now, he'd freak out about it later, for now, he just had to know, "so where's this from darling?"

Jim's breath seized in his chest. He was /not/ expecting that. He was fucking, terrified. It was a welcome terror though, it was, fun? Exhilarating. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. Jim took a breath as Sebastian continued to caress his hip, trying to form some kind of cohesive thought. "Uh," holy shit "four years ago, ten months be-before I hired you," holy shit holy mother fucking shit "One night stand, turned out to be a hitman." Fuck. Holy motherfuckingshit.

Sebastian's grin widened. His thumb stopped moving and held its place. "You're fucking kidding. Jim that's fucking hilarious. Wait, wait wait wait," he moved his hand slightly, resting it on Jim's side with his thumb still on the scar, essentially holding Jim's left hip in his hand. "Did he knife you before or after you fucked?"

Oh, Jim, really couldn't handle this. He had to do something with his arms, they were just, there, shit. He ran his hand up Sebastian's arm (definitely not feeling the muscle there, definitely definitely not thinking about what those arms could /do/ to him) and draped his arms around Seb's neck. "Uh, well, during, I guess?" Oh my god Sebastian was holding his hip, this shouldn't make him feel the way it did but, his grip there was so solid and strong and "One second I was having pretty decent sex and the next I was bleeding all over the bed."

"Jesus. Fucking. Christ." Kind of a freakish thing to find That Hot but here Seb fucking was. "You have all these personalized fetishes with everyone but me?!" Sebastian moved his left hand under the shirt to mirror the right. His brain was moving too fast to notice anything but how /right/ that felt, Jesus Christ. "What's /our/ thing?"

Jim really couldnt breath. His heart was beating like fucking crazy and the fact that Sebastian, was literally grabbing his fucking waist, was not helping. Jim's mind was mentally willing Sebastian's to cut the bullshit, push him against the wall and kiss him and then kiss other, specific parts of him but Jim had to answer the question and he couldn't think of anything smart to say so, he leaned onto his toes and pressed a kiss Sebastian's forehead. "You seemed to like those, but I would really let you do anything to me right now Seb."

Sebastian blinked. He looked slowly down at the man he was, kind of, holding in place before him. Hot. His brain raced for something, anything, he could possibly say. It came up blank. His left hand moved suddenly of its own accord from Jim's side to his cheek, and Sebastian kissed him instead.

Holy fuck. Jim knew fireworks were bullshit but this felt really fucking close. After three seconds of being in a sort of paralyzed shock Jim relaxed and started kissing Sebastian back. And it was, fuck. Seb's hand was still on his waist and his hands were in Sebastian's hair and it was pure motherfucking bliss. He wasn't sure who pulled away, but suddenly instead of kissing Sebastian he was looking up into his piercing blue eyes and it was everything he could do to not fall apart just from the way Sebastian was looking at him.

Sebastian couldn't breathe for a second. His eyes were glued on Jim's and he could feel the stupidest fucking smile spread itself slowly across his face. He started laughing a little, nerves maybe, and he rested his forehead again Jim's closing his eyes. "... Okay," his voice soft and quiet, "yeah, that checks out, that, uh, that works."

Jim hadn't really noticed how much tension had built up in his body over the past, year(s?) Until he was standing there, making the softest, lightest contact with Sebastian and everything that he had been hyper focused on melted away. This felt, better than killing people. He could smell Sebastian- and he was allowed to think that, he could, think whatever the fuck he wanted about Sebastian. Jim's brain was still catching up to his body and as they stood there for, upwards of five minutes he was worried it would take, actual days to process this information. Out of some divine miracle though, Jim remember coming out of the kitchen that morning to Sebastian passed out on his couch and for some reason, that made all of it make sense. "I can't believe you slept with a fucking knife, babe."

Sebastian smiled against Jim's forehead and hummed lightly, pressing a kiss there as he leaned back to stand normally and look at Jim. Yup, still, very pretty. He smiled. "In my own defense, if I remember correctly, you did get drugged, and I happened to feel a little, homicidal, about the whole affair, I'm allowed." He winced a little remembering the white hot anger that had consumed him, approximately 14 hours ago. He was pretty sure if he kept thinking about it the bloodlust would creep it's way back into his system, but his brain was a little preoccupied at the moment, spinning, fixating on one part of Jim's face then another, and producing what must have been a frankly excessive amount of dopamine. He realized he'd trailed off, "oh, sorry," he smiled again, "didn't mean to stare, you're just, really fucking pretty... what was I talking about? knife! yeah, uh, fiddling with something sharp is just, a nervous tick. Something of a dangerous habit I guess, but only if you uh, zone out a little and stop paying proper attention..." He held up his left hand, displaying several very small scars and scrapes on the palm and fingers, "which only happens, sometimes! None of these are from last night even, that was a very, focused kind of fucked up? If that makes sense?" He scrunched up his nose a bit but there was still a persistent little smile that wouldn't leave his face. He probably wasn't making a fuckload of sense but he was still, stupid happy with his present situation in general.

God, Sebastian was something fucking else. "Really fucking pretty huh?" Jim took Sebastian's hand and studied it in an attempt to distract himself from that cute fucking face that Seb insisted on making, running his fingers lightly over the scars on Sebastian's knuckles, absentmindedly pressing a little kiss to one of the scrapes on his palm. "Are you still feeling homicidal, baby?"

"Hmm?" Sebastian hummed absentmindedly, maybe a little too focused on Jim's mouth and not quite enough on the words coming out of it, "oh, right." He thought it over for a second and his eyes narrowed just a little, ".... yeah I'd say so, why?" he returned his gaze to Jim and yeah, mistake, fuck he looked good. Sebastian was slightly concerned that with the not unpleasant blend of murderous ideation and, whatever the fuck he was calling this newer Jim-centric experience, mixing in his bloodstream, his imagination was moving, a little quick. He shook off the feeling and just moved his hands, scooping Jim up and placing him down again with ease so that he was now sitting on the island instead of leaning. Sebastian started pressing kisses onto the side of his neck, trailing down towards his collar and then pulling back again to meet his gaze. He grinned, "You want me to get violent? All you have to do is ask, hon."

Shit. Oh, jesus christ. A shiver ran down Jim's spine and he was using all his brainpower to stop himself from sighing and making, some really graphic noises as Sebastian fucking /teased him/ after /lifting/ him, effortlessly, onto the island. Jim was, to put it plainly, fucked. He was fucked! He was one more neck kiss away from getting a hard on and if Seb went farther than that, Jim genuinely thought he might pass out. Who knew being /interested/ in who you were fucking made it, this much better. Fucking, no, they weren't fucking. Yet. Shit, answer Sebastian, yeah, he can do that, uhh, "You wanna get violent with me?" Jesus, he sounded desperate, okay, okay, uhh. Jim reached a hand up and brushed some hair off of Seb's forehead. "I, cannot tell you, how fucking desperately I want that, but I was thinking maybe we could pay a nice little visit to inkjet? It would be crazy to fuck before the second date, right?"

  
  


Jim calling himself fucking desperate, for anything, was fun, he wasn't gonna lie, but the words second date were also weirdly exciting in a way that made Sebastian's chest feel pleasantly warmed. In literally any other situation Jim Moriarty having this level of control over your physical, bodily state was ridiculously dangerous but with this,,, no it was actually still very dangerous, Sebastian grinned, he just wasn't entirely opposed to the risks. "You wanna run a hit with me?" He leaned in and kissed Jim's forehead, "how romantic."

Jim bit his lip before turning his head to plant a long, slow kiss on Sebastian's neck, then another, digging his teeth in just a little before whispering in his employee's ear. "I mean, he did drug both of us." He started to give Sebastian a hickey just below his earlobe. "It wouldn't be fair to let you have all the fun."

Sebastian breathing hitched as he felt teeth on his skin. Fuck that was nice... fuuuccckkkkk, no okay his brain was little loopy but he was Not going to get hard while his boss all but bit into his neck, that was a little much for 1 pm on a Sunday... but also if Jim kept fuckin- "oookay," he lightly pushed Jim off him, he hoped he wasn't blushing but knew that he, probably was a little and he wasn't gonna lose sleep over it at this point. "So you wanna get in on this? because I have an address, I did a little digging last night... and if we're interested in fair," his eyes narrowed a little, "I probably know a couple dealers who carry shit like that."

"Are you proposing that we drug him before we fuck him up? And let him miss out on all the fun?" Jim grinned and pressed a kiss to Seb's forehead, before leaning back to look him in the eyes. "You found an address cause you were worried about me? That's so cute babe!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, "you always worry me, weirdo. So, we're paying a house call then? What are we bringing along?" This was, a little exciting, he'd admit, but he wasn't just some horny kid with a switchblade this was his job, he was capable of prep work. He hummed a little, opening a note and looking expectantly at Jim.

"Hmmm, a glock for me - no, two. You can have any gun you want," jim nuzzled up against Sebastian's neck. "but make sure you bring some blades and," Jim thought for a second. "Brass knuckles. I want this to be simple. Just you and me." He grabbed Sebastian's chin and kissed him before sliding off the counter. "Should I get one of my suits pressed?"

Sebastian grinned, "dress to kill baby." He turned to lean against the island as Jim had been, inputting information and deciding he also wouldn't mind a hammer and nails, pliers, a corkscrew, some sturdy cord, and a small flask of motor oil. Just in case.


	4. Inkjet's - June 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obviously Sebastian had been gentle with him before, for a few tipsy seconds at the bar, a fleeting moment in the kitchen, asking if he was okay and holding his hand in the back of the cab, but Jim hadn't really, registered it until now. Sebastian was a ruthless killer, an hour ago he lit a man on fire after knocking out his teeth, he'd shot hundreds of people and now, he was here. Sebastian Moran was sitting next to him, holding his hand delicately and softly dabbing at his palm with antiseptic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***graphic violence, torture, blood, blades, burning, broken bones, teeth pulling, dubious ethics, language, nudity, implied sex, mention of sex, fluff, really just a lot of kissing honestly***

Jim called a car and a runner to pick up their supplies before going into his closet to pick out something more, professional. As his glided over the various shirts and jackets he found himself considering what would be easiest to take off instead of his usual debate over colour combination. Jim shook himself and picked out a black set, two piece, his second best - he was planning on getting it bloody. He went into the bathroom and showered before dressing and running a comb through his hair. He checked his phone, the car would be there in ten with the supplies, before approaching Sebastian in the kitchen. "Are you gonna wear that?"

Sebastian looked up from his phone, a little confused by the question. He looked down at the jeans he slept in and Jim's t-shirt. He looked back up and shrugged.

Jim sighed. "I know its technically not work, so you don't /have/ to look professional. You just look excellent in a suit." Jim leaned over and looked at Sebastian's phone. "Motor oil? Pliers? Oh, babe, you really have a vendetta against this guy."

Sebastian smiled faintly, "I look distinctly out of place in a suit, but uh, yeah, vendetta sounds, about right."

"God, Sebastian, don't be modest, you don't look out of place in anything." Jim looked down at his phone. "The car's here, you're deadset on getting blood on one of MY shirts huh?"

Sebastian grinned, wrapping an arm around Jim's waist, "think of it as a souvenir from this little, adventure," he kissed Jim's cheek and moved to grab his coat. This, he decided, was exactly what he needed.

The house they pulled up to was distinctly upper-middle class. This dude, Richard Dover, it turned out, lived alone, and the car in the driveway was a pretty sure sign he was home. That and you could see him through the front window. "You got an angle you want for, introductions, boss?"

Jim smiled and slid out of the car, pulling Sebastian behind him. "Service is scrambled and his lines are cut right? As fun as messy is, I don't want to have to clean up more than I have to." He cracked his knuckles, sliding on the brass knuckles he'd had Sebastian send for, and walked up the front stairs before knocking on the door. It opened after a few seconds and Jim was absolutely giddy with excitement as he drank in the confusion on Richard Dover's face. "Good afternoon Mr. Dover!" Jim sang, right before delivering a right hook across Mr. Dover's nose, really fucking hard.

Well, that was cute. And Richard Dover was, it seemed, barely upright against the wall, scrambling for his phone, that was funny. Sebastian shut the door behind them and with essentially 0 effort kicked the man legs out from under him, "remember me, Dick? oh I wouldn't worry about that, no one's coming, pumpkin, let it go."

God, Sebastian was so hot. Jim aimed a few kicks at Richard Dover's ribs, waiting till he started to hear a few little cracks before turning to Sebastian. "Bring him into the kitchen for me? I want to have a look at the toys you picked out." Jim kicked Dover again, this time inbetween his legs, then moved down the hall, finding the kitchen relatively easily. He saw a kettle on the stove, that could be fun, oh, that could really be fun. "Do you want some tea darling? Ask Dick if he wants any."

Sebastian tossed Dover against the kitchen counter with a satisfying thud. The man fell immidiately to a sitting position on the grey tiles. "Sure, babe." Seb smiled, crouching in front of their new friend, pulling out a knife and raising Richard's head to face him with his blade under the chin. The man was practically snivelling, a mixture of blood and spit was spilling slightly out of his mouth already. "Tea?" Sebastian asked cheerfully. The man, essentially whimpered. "He'd love some!" he called to Jim. Sebastian then quickly moved the knife, pressing it very lightly into the skin above a fairly large artery, "Now," he started, taking, with his other hand the motor oil, pouring a small amount across the mans lap, and placing the canister to the side, "open up!" he grinned, producing a matchbook, full of long, wood, matches, lighting one and holding it out, safe end first, well, safe for now. Dover stared at him wide eyed in horror but too scared to move it seemed. Sebastian looked from the mans oily pants to his face, still holding the match, "I'd uh, listen up if I were you bud." he smiled, if it wasn't as reassuring as he clearly meant it to be,,, oh well. When Seb stood up, Richard Dover had a lit match between his teeth and looked as though he might cry. Excellent.

Jim left the kettle on the stove and went to the duffle bag of weapons sitting beside Sebastian. He took out the corkscrew, the the pliers, then the hammer, slowly, smiling larger after each item he removed and making sure that Dover had a good look at all of them. He pulled a wooden chair from beside the table and sat in it, running his left thumb over his gleaming brass knuckles before leaning down to look Dover in the eyes. "So Dick, is drugging pretty boys a hobby for you, or was this a special occurrence?" Dover didnt say anything, still clutching the lit match in his teeth and looking with wild eyes from Jim to Sebastian. It was so fucking pathetic, Jim had to stifle a laugh and settle for an unsettling smile. "Oh, of course, my bad, I'd apologize but, I don't really care. Here's what's gonna happen honey," Jim leaned farther forward and picked one of Sebastian's knives up off the ground, dragging the flat of it down Dover's cheek, bringing it to a stop at the base of his ear. "You were an inconvenience for me, and now we are going to be an inconvenience for you. Its up to you how severe your consequences are, but," Jim pressed the blade into the ear lobe, drawing a significant amount of blood. "Quite frankly, it would be irresponsible for us to let someone like you go."

The weak mewl as blood spilled onto Richard Dover's standard button down shirt was, pleasing. Sebastian briefly thought about taking one of his smaller knives and tracing the printer tattoo which, if memory serves, had been quite intricate. He dispelled the thought, tempting, but time consuming. The match was getting shorter by the second. "Oh, you might want to do something about that" Sebastian offered, smiling a little like a Cheshire cat. Dover looked at him in horror and made another little mewl, a plea for mercy it seemed, hilarious. Sebastian shrugged and kept smiling. There was a whimper accompanying the sizzle as Richard Dover threw his head back and let the lit match fall into his mouth. That would leave a little bit of a burn mark in the morning, just a little, and even that was just provided the man still /had/ a tongue in the morning. This was, fun. The kettle started to whistle.

"Oh! The tea!" Jim went to the stove and took the kettle off the element before going to rummage through the cupboards. He let a couple mugs fall on the floor - he knew he was being a dick and definitely wasting time but, Dover kinda deserved this. He had only been "searching" for about thirty seconds before he found a medium sized bottle of sedatives tucked away in one of the corners. He licked the front of his teeth, snatching it and grabbing the kettle before waltzing back to wear Dick slumped and Sebastian stood. He put the kettle on the table and tossed the bottle of rohypnol to Sebastian. "Decided that I'm not really thirsty, that doesn't mean we can't put this to use though, right?"

Sebastian surveyed the bottle, eyes narrowing a little as he crouched, eye level with the their terrified new acquaintance, "quite a few missing, Dick. You've been busy, you oughta, relax, take it easy, nice hot bath maybe?"

Jim bit his lip, smiling a little as he popped the kettle open. He leaned forward, maintaining eye contact with Dover as he pointed towards his motor oil soaked pants. "You want me to clean that off for you?" Jim let about a cup of steaming water splash onto the pathetic man's thighs.

This one was a real scream. The man's physical distress overwhlemed his fear as he tried to move out of the way. Sebastian wasn't going to have that though. He quickly grabbed the hand closest to him by the wrist and shoved it against the wooden counter's drawers behind it. He picked up his knife in an instant and stabbed it right through the center of the palm and into the wood behind it. The rip of tissue was completely masked as this was a /howl/, and that was /satisfying/, Sebastian rummaged a little for the corkscrew, a flat blade wouldn't hold the hand there the way he really wanted it to and this was already, exhilarating.

Jim leaned back in his chair as he watched Sebastian screw the man's hand into the wooden drawer, humming and seemingly ignorant to Dover's cries of pain. Jim was having fun, obviously, but he felt agitated. He almost wished that Sebastian was screwing /his/ hand to a wooden counter, but Jim tabled that and went to cradle Dover's chin in his hand, looking his face over. "Your nose isn't even really broken! I thought I hit you harder than that. This really wont do darling."

Hm, Sebastian somehow, liked and disliked Jim holding someone else's face like that? There was something, excellent about Jim teasing a man with violence.... and,,, no, that was what he was going to focus on. He shook off any weird jealousy that may or may not be resting, confusingly in his stomach. "Oh, here babe," he supplied instead, jolting the base of his palm upwards into Dover's nose and smirking a little at the crack and sputtering cry. He didn't take his hand away though, he moved his fingers, now covered in blood, straight to Dover's hair, running them through, grabbing, and then pushing the man's head back against the counter as he sputtered and grabbed pathetically for his nose. "What's the matter? You evidently found me at least a little attractive last night, and now..." he twisted the corkscrew again, reveling in the resulting, guttural scream, "you have my hands all over you, baby. Why complain?"

Jim's heart fluttered. Holy shit. Sebastian seemed to be having fun with Dover and he didn't want to spoil it so he watched, drinking in the scene before him. Richard Dover's blood staining the wood panelling on the counter and pooling on the floor beneath him, Sebastian's hands and shirt (his shirt!!) covered in blood, his face blanketed in fresh splatters from Dover's broken nose. Jim tried to concentrate on how powerful Dover's whimpering made him feel instead of how weak he felt watching the blood dripping over the scar across Seb's nose. He shook himself and kneeled down in front of Dover again. "Don't worry babe, I'm sure it's him, not you. Isn't that right Dick?" Jim grabbed Dover's earlobe right beside he had cut into it and pulled, hard. The ear didnt come off, of course, but the scream was very rewarding.

Sebastian grinned. Fun. This felt /real/ good. He was in his element and everything felt more like instinct than decision. On a whim he reached out and took Jim's hand lightly in his own, "hmm, messy," he mumbled. His eyes moved to meet Jim's before licking a line of Dover's blood off Jim's index finger. Dover himself appeared to be crying, which was understandable, this was all very overwhelming, Sebastian was sure. He grinned, and turned to look for his hammer.

Jim melted. For a split second he just wanted to get this over with so he could feel that again, and again, and again, and, jesus christ, jesus fucking christ. Sebastian had /looked him in the eyes/ while doing that. Jim noticed Sebastian's eyes surveying the floor and he picked up the hammer from beside his foot, on a whim. "Here, babe." He held it out to Sebastian, picking up a handful of nails in case Seb wanted to be, dirty. Dirtier. Jim clenched his hand around the fist and felt something warm trickle down his fingers.

"Thanks, hun," Sebastian took the hammer and started to look for the- ahh- "... you uh, okay there, champ?" Sebastian grinned a little, nodding at the hand. Someone was, invested? was perhaps the word? hard to say, that was cute though.

"Hm?" Jim looked at his hand, which was, sort of covered in blood. "Oh sure baby, here you go." Jim passed Sebastian the nails, letting his hand linger in Seb's for a moment before turning to Dover again. "I'm sorry sweetheart, you aren't getting bored, are you? Here." Jim took off the brass knuckles and punched him a couple times, relishing the feeling of Dover's skin against his knuckles, loving the way his momentum pushed Dover's face to the  side with every impact. He could feel Sebastian waiting behind him though, so he stepped back. For ths first time in his life, he wanted, someone else, to have fun?

Sebastian almost laughed. It was, legitimately adorable that Jim found this, exciting. Which didn't make any sense because Sebastian, definitely found it exciting himself, but that's just how the cookie crumbles sometimes. Maybe he just thought Jim was cute anyway. Blood was dripping from Jim's hand to the floor. /That/ was cute. Sebastian turned his attention back to Dover, snivelling, and smiled. "My-" for an absolute split second Sebastian faltered. His what? boyfriend?? Was... what? oh fuck what were,,, were they anything? was this like... oh jesus christ, he couldn't believe his brain had been so hopped up on happy juice the question hadn't even crossed his mind and suddenly it felt weirdly like the world might collapse around him and maybe he couldn't fucking breath and he didn't even really get why???? But, the sheer frantic power of the emotion actually let him race through the stages of panic in a very nearly imperceptible pause, and he was Not planning on letting that shit come up right now. /Hey, nice torture we're doing lol, so like,,, what are we???/ No. Additionally, he didn't owe this dipshit fuck all, he could say whatever he wanted, "-associate, here," classic, a little bitchy, perfect, "makes an excellent point. We wouldn't want you to feel ignored, darling." Sebastian lifted his hand, and tenderly ran his thumb along the man's bottom lip, a bruise already blooming underneath. He actually leaned in a little, and lightly slipped the digit into Dover's mouth, lightly pulling down the bottom lip, and then in an instant, holding up a nail with thumb and forefinger, positioning, and scooping up the hammer, he bashed in one of the man's bottom front teeth, like a classical sculptor with a chisel. As far as art went, this /was/ Sebastian's preferred creative outlet, and he found he was rather good at it too, the statue definitely came to life. It screamed. Sebastian grinned.

Jim sighed. He could watch Sebastian do this all day. He made a mental note to bug Sebastian about that tiny pause later and held up his hand to survey the damage. There were two smaller holes on his palm and one large one I'm the centre that probably went about half a centimeter deep. And he didnt feel anything. It was definitely adrenaline, but, he'd done this before, doing it with Sebastian really made that big of a difference huh? They'd have to do this again sometime. Jim smiled and grabbed Dover by the hair, holding his head still for Sebastian as he watched him smile. Jim really could do this all day.

Sebastian knocked out another tooth, for symmetry, and checked his watch. "ooouu,,, we should actually, probably head out pretty soon, any parting compliments to our gracious host, babe?"

"What?" Jim pulled his phone out. 17:12, they'd been there longer than he'd thought. He tried not to look defeated as he put it back in his pocket, sighing. "Nah, he's not worth it." He kicked Dover in the head. "You're gonna make cutting this short up to me, right babe?"

"/I'm/ cutting this short?!" Sebastian almost laughed again, this fucking weirdo, but whatever, he rolled his eyes and took Jim's hand, lightly kissing the knuckles before letting go, mixture of Dover and Jim's blood painting itself onto his lips pleasantly, "sorry, I mean, of course, dear." He stood and collected his things, surveying the room to make sure he had everything before looking back at the hyperventilating, bloody mess on the floor like he'd forgotten he was there. "Oh! Richard, um..." Sebastian very quickly lit another match and dropped it. A small puddle beside the man caught first, and Jim had poured water but that wasn't going to overpower the motor oil, in a second, Richard Dover's bottom half was on fire. "... toodles!" Sebastian waved and Dover howled, he turned and headed, satisfied, for the door.

Jim laughed, like, a genuine one. It wasn't, bitter or sinister, Sebastian was just, funny. Jim couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed like that, if he'd ever laughed like that. He blew a kiss to Dover and followed Sebastian, getting into the backseat of the waiting car behind him. "So, back to my place?"

"Sure thing," Sebastian smiled. They each had a fair amount of blood on them, which was cute, but now that they were out of the house his brain was starting to reassert its presence in his skull. Ok. What did he actually know, and literally what was he being paranoid about. Well, based on his experience after breakfast this afternoon, Jim found him, attractive. Nice. His heart buzzed a little in his chest, definitely nice. And okay, based on the one night stand comment, Jim was interested in, a recurring sexual relationship? Sebastian's brow furrowed a moment, was that a fair assessment? Whatever, he found Sebastian attractive. And they did pet names... but they'd done those before that was kind of a game. And no okay based on their little adventure just then Jim, well, had fun hurting people with him? but also Jim just had fun hurting people so that wasn't really evidence of,,, what was he collecting evidence for again? Okay no, that's what he was figuring out, further instances... hm..... fuck. He was out of evidence. So... what? Suddenly Sebastian felt, a little uneasy. It wasn't consuming him necessarily. In fact overall he still felt really good just, strangely unsure of himself maybe? Like what was he actually, doing here? Well, presumably going to have some post-torture sex, but, on what... terms??? He literally didn't know what his brain was doing. Okay, can't figure out, what this shift in your relationship means? start with the material side of thing, what was on the table, could he, for instance, hold Jim's hand? ... OH FUCK JIMS HAND. Sebastian snapped out of his trance, "Oh! Fuck! Boss your hand! uh," he /did/ take Jim's hand, it wasn't serious at all but he still couldn't believe he'd forgotten, "this hurt?" he asked plainly.

Jim was still really, really high on adrenaline. He was also really, really horny. Hurting other people usually did that to him but god damn, hurting people with Sebastian? That, was a whole other experience. The things Seb had done to Dover in there, the things Seb had done to him??? Jim's heart was fucking racing thinking about it and he really, /really/ didn't want to call Estevez again but it was getting to a point where he was actually a little thrown by it. Besides this, all Jim could really think about was pouncing on Sebastian and making out with him in the back of the car for the rest of the ride home. Amidst the lust/concern/confusion that was clouding his brain, Jim felt Sebastian grab his hand. Instinctively, he grabbed back, intertwining his fingers with Sebastian's. He looked over and saw Seb's eyes staring at him expectantly. Shit, he said something. "Sorry?"

Oh jesus fucking christ. The excitement was still dancing behind Jim's eyes and plastered all across his face. Kids on Christmas morning had fuck all on this. Shit that was endearing. Sebastian's heart, effectively melted and he very nearly said /what?/ right back, but he caught himself before falling completely off the edge of the earth and laughed a little. "Your hand," he repeated softly, "does it hurt?"

"Oh!" Jim smiled a little, lifting his hand to look at it - both sides, the still bleeding (but not gushing) holes on his palm and the bruises beginning to blossom on his knuckles - before placing it back in Sebastian's. "No." He was still sort-of-smiling, but staring at Sebastian now. He reached his other hand up and wiped some of the blood from off of the bridge of his nose, slowly, feeling every inch of the scar tissue. "You're covered in blood."

Sebastian stared at him. Well, that definitely shouldn't sound romantic. Here he fucking was though. "Uh.." his voice very nearly caught in his throat, jesus christ, "..yeah, you too." Dumb. That was fucking... yeah obviously??? He half-registered that they were still holding hands. That, somehow, grounded him just enough to blink and smile again. He kissed Jim's forehead, "it's a cute look, suits you."

  
  


"Thank you," That was, their thing. Forehead kisses and torture was their thing. "That felt, nice." Jim felt like he was drunk again, the disconnect between his mouth and the logical part of his brain was astronomical. He let it go though, bringing his thumb down to wipe the blood from around Sebastian's mouth, managing to resist the temptation to stick his fingers in and settling for the feeling of Seb's lips under his hand.

Sebastian's smile widened. "Glad you think so," he replied, with maybe a slightly teasing tone but he was fucking allowed. He licked the remaining blood from his lip absentmindedly. He shouldn't have been surprised when the tip of his tongue met Jim's lingering thumb, but in his defence, he really wasn't thinking. Based on, apparently instinct, he smiled, and very lightly bit the thumb, more of a soft nibble really, tasting a little of the blood still left there too.

That was it, Jim's brain clocked out. He anchored his fingers at the nape of Seb's neck and pulled him into a kiss, biting his lips a little. It was instinctual, it was maybe stupid, but it was pure motherfucking euphoria. They were still holding hands and Jim didn't want to let go as he pressed his nails into the back of Seb's neck and curled his fingers around the ends of Seb's hair. He tasted like metal. It was fucking hot.

Sebastian's free arm moved almost immediately, scooping Jim up (of course the mother fucker wasan't wearing a seatbelt... neither was Sebastian but that was besides the point), and pulling him effortlessly on top of him. It was genuinely too easy. Jim's mouth was warm, his teeth were sharp and presently that was the only fucking thing Sebastian cared about on earth. When he pulled back for a moment his breath was actually slightly ragged, "something of a biter aren't you?"

Jim smirked. "I don't hear you complaining." He kissed Sebastian again, trying not to moan into his mouth (and failing a couple times). Within what felt like seconds the driver stopped in front of Jim's flat and he pulled away, begrudgingly, sliding off Sebastian's lap and starting towards the front door.

Sebastian followed close behind, kicking off his shoes and dropping his bag immediately as they got into the apartment. He swung the door shut behind him, grabbed Jim, and shoved his back against it, kissing him hard. He was pretty sure he had never /wanted/ a specific singular person this badly in his entire fucking life.

Oh, this was new. Sebastian had never been this forceful with him before, and Jim was really into it. Like, really into it. He kissed Sebastian back and desperately tried to get his blood stained shirt off of Seb's body.

There was absolutely no thought going through Sebastian's head that he could get any kind of grasp on, but action? That was, apparently, easy. He took his shirt and pulled it quickly over his head, then moved right back to kissing Jim as his fingers started quick work on the buttons of his dress shirt.

Jim shrugged off his jacket and let his hands explore Sebastians body, feeling the scars on his chest and the musculature of his back and the way his arms tensed as he all but ripped off Jim's shirt. When Seb had finally finished with the buttons Jim threw the shirt to the ground and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck. "Bed."

Sebastian smirked. It was incredibly easy to pick Jim up so that his boss was essentially straddling him as he carried him- hm.. /boss/... right, fuck. No actually he wasn't gonna fucking think about that, he wasn't going to think about anything. It didn't fucking matter, they could be bitter rivals, casual friends, they could be fucking married for all he knew or cared in that moment. Jim said Bed and Sebastian's brain echoed it. It appeared he'd actually arrived on autopilot. He let Jim fall onto the mattress below.

Jim's hands found Sebastian's hair and he couldnt get over the feeling of their bodies moving against eachother. Sebastian was warm and he was holding Jim down as he kissed him and Jim wanted Sebastian to take him apart. Sebastian pulled away and Jim felt him bite his way down Jim's neck, his collar bone, his chest, his stomach, undoing his pants, holy shit. Jim's hands were still in Sebastian's hair. There was also, blood in Sebastian's hair. He was pretty sure it was all his but they were both covered in Dover's blood still, fuck. Jim's body arced as Sebastian started to suck him off and the next five minutes disappeared as he had the best blowjob of his life. Holy motherfucking shit, this was not allowed to be a one time thing.

Sebastian heart rate raced but fuck if he wasn't a little, proud of that performance. He felt his hair sticky with blood, there was some smeared across his torso too and he definitely had his fair share on his hands. He grinned. "See? Red. It just works on me. I told you, I'm an autumn." He was casual but /fuck/ did Jim look angelic, spread out on the bed, breathing a little heavy, covered in blood. He moved himself up to catch Jim's bottom lip between his own and bit. That seemed to bring Jim back to earth and it appeared he was just as eager to please as Sebastian had been minutes before. Seb wasn't remotely concerned with lasting too long at this point, especially not with dark eyes looking up at him like /that/. Approximately another 5 minutes later and he was just lazily making out on the bloody sheets, very fucking pleased. "Hmm," he hummed, smiling against Jim's mouth, pulling back just enough to speak, "we could probably, both use a shower, hon"

"Yeah, looks that way." Jim was really taken with Sebastian's eyes, with his whole fucking face really, but damn. Who knew that prolonged eye contact could make you physically weak? Jim was, relaxed, more so than he'd ever been, which meant that his hand was starting to throb pretty fucking bad. "Should probably clean this too. Do you want to get dinner after?"

Sebastian smiled, in part just because he couldn't /not/ smile. "Sure," he pressed a kiss onto Jim's forehead before taking a closer look at the hand. Yeah, they could have probably dealt with that /before/ fucking around, but if he remembered correctly the fucking around had felt pretty high priority at the time. And it really wasn't so bad. "Got disinfectant and shit in the bathroom? I could dress this here, so you don't have to call another doctor or anything."

"Of course I do, trust me, after I got knifed during sex I made sure I was prepared for something similar." Jim buried his face into Sebastian's shoulder. "In a second though. Kiss my forehead again."

Sebastian was almost tempted to call him needy but decided against it because fuck that was cute. He smiled and pressed 3 quick kisses onto Jim's forehead before detangling himself to poke about in the bathroom. He returned with a small kit and sat on the edge of the bed, taking Jim's hand and wiping it off gently. "This might, sting," he supplied, grabbing a cotton ball and unscrewing the lid of some antiseptic.

It did, but it wasn't anything Jim wasnt used to. He'd taken a bullet or two before. He winced a little as Sebastian cleaned the small wound but, was mostly, surprised. Obviously Sebastian had been gentle with him before, for a few tipsy seconds at the bar, a fleeting moment in the kitchen, asking if he was okay and holding his hand in the back of the cab, but Jim hadn't really, registered it until now. Sebastian was a ruthless killer, an hour ago he lit a man on fire after knocking out his teeth, he'd shot hundreds of people and now, he was here. Sebastian Moran was sitting next to him, holding his hand delicately and softly dabbing at his palm with antiseptic. Jim smiled and layed his head on Sebastian's shoulder, sighing a little bit.

Warmth radiated from where Jim was laying on him and Sebastian smiled to himself as he wrapped a bandage around the hand, securing it, snugly, with a tuck and a little bit of tape. "Good day?" he murmured, hm, he could smell dried blood on both of them, would need to do something about that he supposed, eventually.

"Yeah." Jim replied. "Really, really good day." He lifted his head and kissed Sebastian on the cheek. Jim stood up and started to walk towards the bathroom, expecting Seb to follow, but not before calling back to him. "If you make your relationship status on Facebook 'its complicated with Jim Moriarty' I will kill you."

Hm,,, /funny/, that's attractive, even if he is fucking ridiculous. Sebstian grinned to himself. His- ...hm, his Complicated was funny. Still hadn't quite figured /that/ bit out yet, had he? Whatever. "Well, in my defence, it would be something of a complication to our relationship if you did," he smiled pleasantly. "Part of what makes you fun!" He added, getting up and following into the bathroom, "might kill me any second." He wrapped his arms around Jim's chest from behind, kissing his neck with a smile.

Jim smiled, he reached for the tap and turned the water on then turned around to face Sebastian, kissing him lightly on the mouth. "Our relationship?" He looked Sebastian in the eyes, beaming, pulling him towards the shower.

Sebastian faltered. He had fucking said that hadn't he. Fuck. ....And what was this fucker so happy about? He, absolutely genuinely fucking needed to know, his brain wasn't working and he couldn't figure out what his fucking problem was. For a split second he considered just asking Jim, what exactly he wanted out of this. ... No, actually, absolutely fuck that! He didn't want to, at fucking all! And he didn't know why!! Maybe he was just going crazy!! "Our working relationship," he clarified casually, following Jim with a smile he hoped looked cocky instead of nervous, "I'm your employee, says so right on my Facebook, remember?"

"Sebastian, I thought I was pretty clear," Jim stepped under the hot water and pulled Sebastian against his chest. "This is /not/ going to be a one time thing." Jim started mouthing and biting at Sebastians neck, making his way up to Seb's ear before whispering, "Try again."

"uuhhh," Sebastian's brain whirled. At the voice in his ear he did shiver, microscopically. He swallowed and tried to figure out what exactly it was that felt so... fuck. ...Shower felt nice though. Ok. Good reset. Now think of something to fucking say, idiot! A thought occurred, miraculously, and his eyes narrowed a little in mild concern, "hmm... right. Yeah that's cool but I, didn't just sign up to be a full-time-fuck-toy did I? Don't get me wrong! There are much worse fates! I just happen to, uh," he reached a hand up and ran it through his hair, to the delightful effect of blood mixing with water and running down his face and neck, "...love my job?" he smiled.

"I didn't say your job would change. You're extremely competent." Jim licked his lips and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck. He was really, really hot, fuck, goddamn. Jim had to keep his cool though. "And as much as I would love to have you as a 'full time fuck toy'," Jim licked some of the watery blood that was running down Sebastian's neck. "I had... something else in mind."

Full time fuck toy, actually sounded way better coming out of Jim's mouth like that, yeah... fuck. ...No. Get your head in the fucking game Moran. Then the tongue on his skin, the fact that it was licking blood off him, very nearly undid Sebastian, but he was saved by his brain, for once, catching up to what Jim said. "Oh?" his voice did /not/ crack, but just barely, Jesus fuck. "Do tell."

Jim pulled away, clenched his teeth and looked up at Sebastian. This bastard was really going to make /him/, Jim Moriarty, the man who owned this fucking city, say it out loud. Bitch. Whatever. He was kinda into it? No, dumb, stupid, whatever. "Have dinner with me tomorrow night too. You already act like you're my mother, you're a pain in the ass and I don't," Jim winced. "I don't, /hate/ it when you challenge my authority. Why don't we, you know," Jim smiled, maniacally? "Do, /this/ more often." He didn't say boyfriend. He was /not/ going to be the one to say it first.

Sebastian had known Jim Moriarty long enough to know what the beginning of one of his little games looked like. Seb was, unfortunately, trapped in a very confusing space between excitement, panic, exasperation, and just straight up confusion. This was actually, kind of safer territory though? If he could figure out the rules as he went, things would fall into place, and he could get a fucking clue about what exactly this freak actually wanted. The freak in question's nose crinkled very slightly when he winced, and fuck if that didn't make Sebastian's heart feel like it was melting. Jesus Christ. /Fuck what Jim wanted, the bastard wouldn't even say anyway, what did Sebastian fucking want???/ Hm,,, no. Make fun of him for something. Sebastian grinned, that was very familiar territory indeed. "You don't- sorry you don't what?? I didn't hear you the, water babe, is there blood in my ears? What don't you hate? Jesus I think I've gone a little deaf you might have to spell it out for me, this isn't the kind of thing you don't want in writing is it???"

Jim shut his eyes and scrunched up his face. Dumb. This was dumb, stupid idea, why did you try to make this freak your /boyfriend/, God, stupid, stupid, dumb. Jim removed himself from Sebastian's shoulders and turned his body away from him, looking for the shampoo. "Never mind." He mumbled. God, this was dumb, Sebastian really was the worst, this was why Jim didn't get attached to things. To people. To beautiful, strong blondes who carried him to his bedroom and sucked him off while- no, no no nonono, absolutely fuck this.

Oh come fucking onnnnn... Fuck that was cute though. Sebastian rolled his eyes at Jim's back but the smile wouldn't leave his lips. Drama queen. "Heeyyyyyy," he drawled, you could hear the grin in his voice but that was fine. He waited just a beat before letting out an almost laugh and moving to drape his arms over Jim's shoulders from behind, crossing lazily over his chest as Sebastian's head nuzzeled into place beside Jim's. He pressed a kiss onto his cheek. "I'd, absolutely fucking love to," he mumbled softly against Jim's temple.

Jim smiled in spite of himself. Why did Seb make it so hard for him to stay angry?? He could wind him up with three words and bring him back down, with none. Jim was just, happy. Having Sebastian's dick right up against him was certainly, contributing to his good mood, but that kiss? And more importantly, his answer. Sebastian wanted, no, not just wanted, he would /love/ to do this again. And again. And again, indefinitely for all Jim knew. He was blushing a little, but whatever. He turned and pressed a soft kiss to Sebastian's forehead. "Okay," Sebastian was holding him from behind, this was, the nicest feeling in the world, holy fucking shit. "So, what should I call you then Sebastian, what's your, title?" Title?? Title??????? Jesus fuck.

With their faces right up close he felt Jim's smile before he could see it. Sebastian's eyes fluttered shut and his grin slipped into a soft smile without him even noticing. The kiss pressed onto his forehead also felt impossibly intimate and for some reason that was absolutely everything he wanted right there,,, wait had Jim said something? His brow furrowed and his eyes stayed closed. "Like... colonel?" His brain caught up. Not Fucking Like Colonel Fucking SHIT. How had his whole cognitive process gotten this fucked up???? They weren't even fucking, they were lightly kissing in a shower what the fuck was wrong with him???? It was like he was fucking 17, it was like being drunk and ecstatic about bullshit but /more/, it was like they were fucking dating Jesus Christ. ... Oh. "-or," the word tumbled out like a reflex. ...No. Fucking commit Sebastian. You know what you fucking want. Commit. He sucked in a breath and opened his eyes to take in the man before him. He probably looked stupid, smiling and scared and naked in more ways than one (gay). Fuck it. Now or never mother fucker. "...or like boyfriend?"

"Colonel?" Jim was holding back laughter. He was grinning like the fucking chesire cat, fuck, this fucking idiot. "Sorry, /colonel/? /Colonel Moran/?? I-" Jim bit his lip and looked down for a few seconds, before slowly looking back up at Sebastian, letting his eyes linger on every inch of his body, moving his hand up to tangle in the hair at the base of Sebastian's neck, wishing that those lips were pressed up against his and /ecstatic/ at the knowledge that they so easily could be. "I mean, boyfriend sounds good." Jim let his head rest on Sebastian's shoulder and kissed his neck, tasting the blood and water running down their intertwined bodies. "Really good, actually. Way better than colonel."

/Your fucking doctor calls you sir but sure colonel is ridi-/ Sebastian realized he wasn't speaking out loud. In fact he was a little bit frozen. Awestruck, some might say. His eyes were glued on Jim, but he wasn't saying anything he was just staring, at his fucking, boyfriend. ...And that was him. He was so perfect it hurt, and he was, Sebastian's fucking /boyfriend/. Sebastian's hands were around his perfect body, traces of blood still just flowing off both of them, Sebastian, and his boyfriend, James Moriarty. Sebastian cracked into a smile, and then a breathy little laugh of relief, and /fuck/ relief was... and then he was just laughing. And he felt like he just couldn't stop and it felt so fucking /good/. And then he was kissing his fucking boyfriend, and he couldn't even stop smiling to do it. There were hands in his hair, and they felt like heaven, and he'd never felt so /right/ in his fucking life. The next thing he knew his forehead was resting against his boyfriend's and there was nothing left to do but murmur, in a voice just loud enough for Jim to hear, "boyfriend's perfect," as he pressed a kiss, not for the first time and absolutely definitely not for the last, onto Jim's forehead.

  
  



	5. Mom - March, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was easy, he wanted this, he was going to do this and he was going to excel at it. /Could/ you excel at meeting someone's parent? Jim had no idea. He had, never done this before. He grabbed his wallet and keys and shrugged on his jacket before following Sebastian out to the car. As they reached it, the residual panic took over and he blurted out "Have you done this before?"
> 
> Sebastian's brow furrowed a little as he pulled his keys out, unlocking the car. "Done what? Introduced someone to my mom? Yeah, Jim I'm not 15, chill, she's had meet-the-SO dinners before, she's not gonna pounce and demand grandkids or grill you about your income or some shit, you're just nerv-" Sebastian turned to smile at Jim as he made fun of him but when his eyes landed on that face it clicked and he froze mid-(it turned out very misguided)callout. James Moriarty, napoleon of crime. Sebastian leaned back against his car and stared straight ahead. "Oh my fucking god... Oh holy shit. Oh, my god."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is about eight months after the last chapter :*)
> 
> ***language, mostly just, nervous gay stuff***

Hey, so, when am I gonna meet your mom? 

JM

Oh! I actually have been thinking about that, I think I picked a good day let me check my calendar 

SM

Never! 

SM

What do you mean, never?

JM

She seems like a nice woman. I didn't think you had anything against her.

JM

She is nice, she's the best, that's why I'm not going to bring the most dangerous thing in this city anywhere near her? 

SM

Thing?? That's a little harsh.

JM

How long have you been putting this off darling? 

JM

mmm8 months? ish? cute. but I'm not putting it off, Jim, there's nothing to put off, not gonna happen 

SM

:(

JM

I understand this might shock you but you can't always just pout and get what you want babe 

SM

:(( 

JM

I feel like I'm going to regret asking, but why do you want to meet my mom anyway 

SM

What do you mean regret asking?? I don't have a secret agenda for everything, Sebastian. 

JM

I'm not jealous that you spend every other weekend with her, that'd be ridiculous.

JM

[delay] sorry, I was taken aback by how completely yourself you are, it's hilarious, but uuuhhhh no. 

SM

Jim, being in the same fucking /room/ as you lowers someone's life expectancy, which I signed up for years ago and, have never regretted for a second, but that is /not/ my mom's world and I do intend to keep it that way 

SM

Have you even told her that you're seeing someone? 

JM

of course, vaguely, but you work out of town and your last name is Moorson 

SM

[Delayed] Moorson???? Really?????? 

JM

Anyways, you know that I could just arrange a meeting myself, babe.

JM

well I could arrange, a breakup, so I guess we'd be at something of an impasse 

SM

and it's cute it's fine, she thinks it's funny, very close to the dude from the Doors 

SM

The what??? 

JM

Never mind, are /you/ threatening /me/??? 

JM

Sebastian, I personally think you're being a little selfish. 

JM

it isn't a threat it's a warning, and yeah a little, I learn from the best❤️ 

SM

(No reply)

baaaabbee ...c'mon 

SM

you must fucking recognize that in terms of Safe, scale of one to ten, you aren't exactly bubble wrap 

SM

I'm not going to kill your mom Seb, I just want to have dinner with her. 

JM

You can pick the location, wherever you think is the most, "bubble wrap". 

JM

I know you're not going to kill her, Jim, but you have enemies, and it's just, my /mom/! that's my mom! 

SM

Sebastian, I'm a robot, I don't understand the intricacies of mother/son bonds. 

JM

It's just, eight /fucking/ months, if you wait any longer Ms. Moran might think something's, up. 

JM

you always sound so cryptic Jesus fucking Christ 

SM

[delay] but yeah I fucking... know 

SM

So, I'm right? 

JM

[Delayed] Listen, babe, I know how much she means to you, I'm not gonna get her involved with our lifestyle, I promise. 

JM

yeah yeah... I trust you. 

SM

it'll get me fucking killed one day!!! 

SM

but I, do 

SM

Soooooooo, when? 

JM

ugh 

SM

tonight, if you have shit move it, we're doing this before I change my fucking mind 

SM

So bossy. 

JM

Fine, come to my place before hand though, I need some moral support choosing my outfit.

JM

this was your idea!! your request!!! /you/ need moral support to prepare?? you're, impossible. 

SM

ill be there for 5:30 

SM

Jim sighed and checked the time. 3:41. Sebastian was right, this was /his/ idea, but, still. First impressions were important. And despite the fact that Jim could take or leave about every other pitiful human life on this planet, he genuinely cared about Sebastian, and Sebastian really /really/ cared about his mom. So he really couldn't fuck this up unless he wanted to go back to sleeping on his own every weekend. He rolled off the couch and decided he might as well make use of his extra time, and headed for the shower.

Sebastian sighed and looked up from his phone. Just in time too hm, he took the shot into the open hotel window of the building across, watched a man's brains paint the wall behind, and started packing up his gun. He couldn't really be bothered about getting sloppy, it was a very easy job and also, fuck. He spent the next hour or so, fidgeting. He ran an errand or two and made some tea at home, but the only consistent it seemed was, fidgeting. He was nervous and his hands fucking knew it. Why was he even- ugh. No, he knew he needed to do this. He'd always kind of known, though he had entertained the idea of just, telling his mom they broke up and backpeddling to secret boyfriend. He checked the time on his phone and smiled slightly at what he saw, not realizing how much he needed the little comfort. Couldn't fake breakup. He'd have to change his phone background, and he refused. It was Jim, obviously. They'd been walking home from a play, Shakespeare in the park, and Sebastian had managed to take a picture just after a scruffy looking stray cat had rubbed up against Jim for pets, purred as he scratched its head, and then, in an instant of pure instinct, absolutely rocketed away as it noticed a bird, making an almost unbelievable leap off a parked car and tearing it from the sky. In the photo Jim was just turning back to Sebastian and hadn't noticed the camera. He was just, ecstatic. He looked about 5 years old and engulfed in irrepressible excitement. There were absolutely no other photos of the incredibly rare sight: Jim Moriarty, with his eyes lit up like that, just /buzzing/, exhilarated and excited in such an /unguarded/ way. He looked adorable. He fucking hated it, he wanted Sebastian to delete it more than anything. It was perfect. So... no fake breakup. Sebastian sighed, but he did feel, a tiny bit better. He grabbed a jacket, and headed to his boyfriend's apartment.

Jim's shower had lasted about ten minutes longer than it usually did. When he did get out he hesitated for a moment before deciding not to put the usual product in his hair. He usually opted not to use it when it was just him and Seb (waxless hair was easier to pull) and it felt, more genuine meeting his mom like that. There was also, the thick, pink scar on his forehead, that would raise more questions than he would ever feel comfortable answering. God, was Jim, nervous? It was just Sebastian's mom, she wasn't going to kill him, there was no danger in this situation. And yet.... 

Jim shaved, then put on some colonge and deodorant and at 5:25 he found himself standing in front of his closet with a towel around his waist - in the same position he'd been in for the past half hour. He hadn't even tried to pick out clothes, he'd just been, thinking. He didn't even know what Ms. Moran looked like, that wasn't in the file and it wasn't like Sebastian had shown him pictures. He was very keen on keeping Jim out of that aspect of his life. Ms. Moran, he didn't even know her fucking first name!! Thank god Sebastian had mentioned that she'd kept Moran, otherwise he wouldn't even have something to call her. Jim grabbed a particularly nice pair of jeans and pulled them on as he decided to grill Sebastian about it in the car. His phone buzzed.

Sebastian approached the front door and reached for his- ah. His key. That he'd been fiddling with for the past 20 minutes unconsciously at his kitchen table, sawing lightly into a napkin. That he had left beside his untouched tea without thinking twice.

got distracted, forgot key, here, let me innnn 

SM

A part of Jim hoped Sebastian had backed out but he knew that was dumb, being nervous was dumb, and when he saw the text from Seb he laughed. That dumb bitch, fuck. Jim felt, immediately better, this was good, a good idea, he was serious about Sebastian and he could go through with this.

Oh my god, coming. 

JM

The door opened and revealed a man with, huh, no shirt. Or product in his hair. He looked, as nervous as Sebastian felt and he'd be lying if he said that wasn't, real comforting... endearing too. It did somehow make it, so, so much better that they really were in this together. He smiled and chuckled a little, "Jesus, you weren't kidding about needing the moral support. Or is this a seduction?" He flashed a small grin before leaning in and kissing Jim's cheek. "Its workiiinngg," he sang quietly, as he moved into the landing and pushed the door closed behind him.

"I don't have to try to seduce you babe." Jim said, standing on his tiptoes to press a kiss to Sebastian's forehead in return. He was still, horrifyingly nervous, but Sebastian's presence made it, easier. "How was work?" He asked, turning and walking up the stairs and into his flat.

Sebastian took off his shoes before following. "Boring, but that's probably good, I've been, uh, distracted. I get the sense the feeling might be, mutual?" he gestured non-comitally at Jim's general person, but did sigh and offer a sympathetic smile. "She won't care what you wear." He took a seat on a couch and, fidgeted.

Jim blushed a little, just a little. He sighed. "Yeah, it's.. mutual." He stood awkwardly in between the bedroom and the living room for a few seconds before going back into the bedroom to navigate the hellscape that was his wardrobe. Sebastian was wearing a t-shirt, but this was /his/ mom. Not Jim's. First impressions were important and he couldnt fuck this up he could NOT fuck this up he, he had broken the knob off of his dresser. He had no idea he'd been gripping it that hard. He quickly tossed it out of sight before digging out a cool grey t-shirt. Was this, too boring? He was definitely over thinking. He put it on and joined Sebastian on the couch. "You still haven't told me her first name. Or, anything."

Sebastian stared for a split second genuinely surprised. He knew he could get, protective, but he was pretty sure he'd told Jim her /name/. ...There was no way in hell he'd let it slip and Jim had forgotten though so he supposed Jim must just be right. "Beth. uh, Elizabeth Eleanor Moran, but... yeah just Beth. She's, kind of the best? Real, real good mom. She's a potter, professionally, sells mugs and pots and sculptures and shit, doesn't understand technology, loves animals, especially birds, and I've seen her fight a man in a pub for speaking poorly of Queen." He smiled fondly at the memory before his eyes drifted back to Jim, "oh, she's also very, /very/ excited to meet you."

"That's, a lovely name." Jim leaned his head on Seb's shoulder as he committed all the information he had just received to long term memory. Hopefully he didn't fuck this up so it could stay there, why was he so nervous??? "I didn't think you'd told her anything about me, I thought my name was, Moorson?"

Sebastian's brain hit a bit of a realization. Well, cats out of the bag soon enough anyway. "It is." He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the couch and taking a pillow from beside him to fiddle with on his lap, "but she does, know a little about, Jim Moorson." He kept his eyes shut, decidedly, and scrunched them a little, "Which isn't my fault! She just knows how to... get things out of me I dunno she's my mom! and I do... sometimes just talk about you," he peaked out with one eye at Jim, "we are dating." That sounded a little defensive maybe, ugh, he was just, stressed.

Jim smiled a little. He guessed, he never expected Sebastian to want to talk about him with anyone? Once you took out everything about how he was a criminal mastermind who was secretly running London, he figured that there just, wasn't much to tell. The fact that Beth Moran was excited to meet him was, terrifying, there was a bar, an expectation he would have to live up to. He glanced at Sebastian and saw him fidgeting. Jim moved his hand over and took his hand before realizing he hadn't said anything yet. "I'm not, mad," he looked Sebastian in the eyes. "Just, surprised."

Sebastian almost laughed a little, "Well, good I can still /suprise/ you." He raised Jim's hand to kiss it lightly and offer a tired smile. "Keeps the romance alive," he concluded dryly, pulling out his phone to check the time. They'd have to leave soon. He simultaneously wanted to leave, right now and get it over with or have hours and hours to prepare. Prepare what? Who was to say. He sighed and closed his eyes again to center himself for a moment. Opening, they landed on Jim, he was wearing a shirt now, Sebastian almost hadn't noticed. He smiled, "you look good, you ready?"

"Yeah." Jim ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath before standing up. This was easy, he wanted this, he was going to do this and he was going to excel at it. /Could/ you excel at meeting someone's parent? Jim had no idea. He had, never done this before. He grabbed his wallet and keys and shrugged on his jacket before following Sebastian out to the car. As they reached it, the residual panic took over and he blurted out "Have you done this before?"

Sebastian's brow furrowed a little as he pulled his keys out, unlocking the car. "Done what? Introduced someone to my mom? Yeah, Jim I'm not 15, chill, she's had meet-the-SO dinners before, she's not gonna pounce and demand grandkids or grill you about your income or some shit, you're just nerv-" Sebastian turned to smile at Jim as he made fun of him but when his eyes landed on that face it clicked and he froze mid-(it turned out very misguided)callout. James Moriarty, napoleon of crime. Sebastian leaned back against his car and stared straight ahead. "Oh my fucking god... Oh holy shit. Oh, my god."

Jim's face felt really, really hot. Why did Sebastian always have to humiliate him just like /this/. It shouldn't even be suprising to him anymore that Jim was, apparently, socially a toddler. "What the fuck do you want from me!?" He was yelling, a little bit, fuck. He stormed around the car to the passenger side. "I'm sorry that I don't usually talk to the people I fuck, let alone /meet their parents/! And I'm /so sorry/ that I wouldn't be able to have a "meet the SO dinner" even if I wanted to! Fuck!" He got in the car and slammed the door, still red in the face (if not redder) and already regretting his outburst.

Sebastian closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose still leaning back against the car. "...fuuuuuuuuuccckkkkk." Real fucking smooth, idiot. He took a deep breath and let it out before opening the door and getting in beside his lightly fuming boyfriend. Seb was a veteran idiot, and very not without experience in damage control post fuck-up, but he was stressed and did feel, pretty shitty about this one actually. "I am, so fucking sorry, Jim, I wasn't, thinking." He let a pause hang in the air for a moment trying to collect his thoughts. "She's... listen you're so fucking fine, babe, she's going to love you." He offered what he hoped was a comforting smile. Nerves he got, nerves he could, definitely empathize with. His mouth kept going without much say-so from his brain. "And, thank you. Sorry, I know that sounds fucking stupid. But thank you for... I dunno, giving a shit. I know it's scary, I'm scared too, but I swear to god /you/ have /nothing/ to worry about," he reached out to brush some hair off Jim's forehead, "you're, perfect."

Well, fuck. All of the anger and humilation just, evaporated from Jim's body. Sebastian was an angel, like, a fucking terrifying and extremely capable arc angel, but still, he was capable of this tenderness towards Jim that Jim was not used to. You know, as a professional criminal and renowned asshole. He sighed, and smiled a little, and kissed Sebastian on the cheek. "Thank you, I'm, sorry, I'll behave for your mom I promise." He fastend his seat belt and settled into his seat before turning to look at his boyfriend again. "But, babe, if I'm perfect, why is my last name Moorson?"

Sebastian smiled and turned on his car. "What's so much fucking better about Moriarty? Besides the clout. Just as an isolated collection of syllables. Enlighten me." The radio started playing psycho killer by the talking heads. He didn't know how to take that one, but as far as deeply ambiguous signs went he decided he was optimistic. Either way, off they went.

"James Moorson is just so, unromantic and, beige." Jim wrinkled his nose at Sebastian. He guessed Moorson wasn't the worst thing Seb could have chosen. It was supposed to be about twenty minutes to Seb's mom's, but because Sebastian had an affinity for speeding even when he wasnt nervous, it took about twelve. It was spent mostly in silence, not uncomfortable, but mildly anxious. As they pulled up to the little bungalow Jim turned to Sebastian. "So, what's my job again?"

"Oh, vague." Sebastian smiled, "I just, always /happen/ to get distracted when it comes up. Something about business? Maybe? I dunno mom, we don't usually talk about his work life all that much." He winked. "Anyway, there's basically free rein to improvise if she asks."

Jim glared at him and got out of the car. The neighborhood wasn't shitty, but it wasn't Beverly Hills either. Lower middle class, Jim thought, /uncomfortably/ middle class. The house was cute, it had a little front yard and what looked like the remnants of a tiny garden that was, almost entirely weeds. Jim shivered a little bit and felt his heart very obviously in his chest as he put on what he hoped was a relaxed face and started towards the (red!! That was kinda cute) door.

Sebastian smiled fondly at the house, this was, pretty literally, home territory so at least he had that on his side. Even if Jim didn't necessarily feel the same familiarity, Sebastian could probably do a better job grounding him if Seb himself felt moderately at ease. He took Jim's hand, kissed his cheek, smiled, and knocked on the door. There was a beat, a "/Shit/!" from somewhere inside the house, a light clattering, footsteps, and then the door opened revealing a woman with longish grey hair in a bun with a pen sticking out. She was wearing jeans, and a sweater covered in sunflowers which clashed remarkably with the two bright red oven mits (how had she even opened the door?). Her smile was large and excited even if she looked a little frantic. She saw Sebastian first and turned immediately to take in the man beside him, "Jim!" She sounded like he was an old friend arriving as a very pleasant surprise and she went in, right away, for a hug.

  
  



	6. Beth's - March 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When was the last time you slept here babe?"
> 
> "Oh that's a good ques-" It was. His mother was quick to jump in: "Not last New Year's eve but the one before, he came here at 3am, hammered, and almost definitely high, with a quarter of a bottle of tequila, to tell me something about a profound realization that he wanted to fuck his boss, and I reminded him, that he doesn't have a boss, and he just stared at me, and went '.... right' real slow, and told me we should both forget this ever happened, and that /he/ fully intended to, and then he downed the rest of the tequila in one and passed out on that bed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Drinking, smoking, language, mention of murder***

It took Jim a second to realize what has happening, meaning that he stood awkwardly with Beth's arms around him for a blink before hugging her back. So, the second person he'd hugged in well over a decade was his boyfriend's mom. Cool, cocococoooooolllll, okay, uh, lead with surname, that's, respectful, right??? "Ms. Moran!! Uh, hi!" Oh my God, Jim hoped he didnt look as scared as he sounded. Beth released him and went to tackle Sebastian in an even more forceful embrace, but not before politely correcting Jim; "Call me Beth hon."

Sebastian didn't laugh at Jim becuase that, would be mean, and he, was being nice, a very, good boyfriend. But god that loser looked flustered, fuck he was cute. "Hi mom," she smelt very faintly like paprika and good intentions, "chilli?" She grinned at him. "It's mild!" she assured, unconvincingly, "besides you said Jim doesn't mind spice! Just because /you/ refused to inherit my taste buds doesn't mean the rest of us have to live in mediocrity!" Sebastian rolled his eyes, "I live to disappoint," he smiled, kissing the top of her head and holding the door for Jim as a timer beeped somewhere behind her and Beth Moran jumped, grinned, and skidded off into the hallway.

Jim walked into the house feeling, out of place. He felt put of place on the porch as well so really the only difference was that it was now harder to escape. He didn't /want/ to escape, it was, just, safe to have the option. The house was nice on the inside, very, cluttered. It was similar to Sebastian's apartment in that there was stuff everywhere, but in a way that made it look like everything belonged right where it was. The big difference between Sebastian's decor and his mom's was that Beth had a multitude of framed photos lining the hallway. Family photos. Excellent. Jim noticed Seb's highschool graduation photo and approached it, grinning. "Babe, you never told me you had /braces/," Jim was ecstatic but, another photo caught his eye, a signed one, portraying a man with a guitar. "Who's that?"

Sebastian glanced at the photo in question. It was a mistake to assume Jim was ever, ever kidding about not recognizing something remote within the sphere of pop culture, but the impulse was so strong, literally how had he been alive this long. "Man by the name of Axl Rose? Doesn't ring any bells? You're cute." He went to hug Jim from behind while he looked at the photos, wrinkling his nose a little at any of him between the ages of 13 and 17, although he did have to admit he looked a little bit hilarious. "They were only supposed to be on a year but we had to keep replacing them because I'd get into scrapes and knock shit out of place, metal bends!" He kissed Jim's cheek and in a moment of saint hood added, "and I'm fucking with you, it's Jim Morrison." He smiled and started down the hall.

"Are you joking? That's, my name, fuck off." Was it impolite to swear??? Jim followed Sebastian, but at a more relaxed pace than usual. He had never seen any pictures of what Sebastian looked like before Jim met him, let alone when he was in highschool. It was, really, really cute. There were a couple terrible haircuts and questionable fashion choices (did Jim detect a little bit of a punk phase at age 14? Interesting) and Sebastian was definitely understating when he described his altercations as "scrapes" there were a couple pictures where the scar on his chin was fresh and bandaged, and one where he was missing a tooth. No wonder he had braces for four years, this absolute loser. "You look like you cause your mom a lot of worry, hon, I knew you liked to pick fights but I didn't know it was a primal urge."

Sebastian rolled his eyes, "I didn't /pick/ fights I just-" He was cut off by the reemerging head of Beth Moran, "Ha! Didn't /pick/, well then, and the apple just fell off the tree right into Eve's poor little innocent mouth, huh?" She poked him in the side with a wooden spoon, "Huh?!" She then twirled a little to smile warmly at Jim, "just a little joke, honey, we're not religious," she poked Sebastian with the spoon again and added, "clearly!" with a wink before turning back to her small kitchen.

Jim grinned mischievously at Sebastian. He didn't need to say the words, "I was right and your mom confirmed it", the smile communicated it perfectly fine. It was actually, uncanny how similar her teasing of Sebastian felt to the way he teased Jim. "So you're the same? Like I know she's your mom but, you're the same?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sebastian smiled faintly, following his mom and instinctively taking another wooden spoon and dipping it in the chilli to taste, she had spared him, for now, though it did definitely have a kick to it. He turned down the heat on the element just a notch when a hand flew out and grabbed his, turning it back. "Sebastian Northrup Moran, do not think I don't notice your cheek!!" He couldn't help laughing, "you want a even cook on th-" "I know what I want! I know what you want! I taught you every little thing you know!" She spun to face Jim and pointed the spoon at him emphatically, "I taught him everything he knows," she spun back and gave Sebastian a Look before turning back to stir the pot. "Do take a seat, dear," she sang pleasantly as though she had not just silently threatened to kill him. He sighed and pulled out a chair at the table for Jim.

Jim sat down, a little terrified of this fantastic woman but mostly, absolutely overjoyed. He was having the time of his fucking life, this was the funniest shit, this was the best. "Of course Beth, believe it or not he tells me, all the time." He hoped he didnt sound sarcastic, he was, truly, being genuine. Sebastian always had high praise for his mum. Jim turned to Sebastian and tried, to speak more discreetly. "Your initials are SNM?" Jim was grinning, wider, eyebrows raised.

Beth hummed appreciatively at her chilli, "Good! Credit where credit is due!" Sebastian simply winked in response to Jim's less public commentary. "Do you need help with anything, mom?" He called back after a moment. "Never!" she called, shutting off the element and taking the large pot with two mitted hands to the already set table. Well, already set, except. "Ah..." she scowled, still holding the giant pot, paused in front of the table, "Sebastian, dear, could you-" He snatched a trivet from the counter and placed it in the middle of the table for her to put the pot on top of and she smiled excitedly placing it neatly and grabbing a spoon to serve. "/Never/," Sebastian muttered in a fond imitation, grinning at the glare he received in response.

Jim's grin faded to a soft smile. There was something so, domestic about this. He was used to domesticity with Seb, at least, /sort of/, but having someone else there was, new. It wasnt bad, he wasn't uncomfortable, it was just, new. The fact that Sebastian was a carbon copy of his mom did make it easier. Plus, that chilli smelled heavenly. He hoped he didn't look like /that/ much of a twink.

Beth scooched in opposite her son and started mixing in her rice. "So," her eyes shot up to Jim, "Jim! I've heard so much about you! Tell me... if you were stuck on a desert island with only three books, what do you bring? Also, what are you? A virgo?" She uncorked the wine beside her on the table as she spoke, "Also, fuck marry kill: John F Kennedy, the Norse god Thor, and Luigi, of Mario." Sebastian almost choked, "Mom, Jesus Christ," she usually let his partners eat at least before she pulled out this calliber of weird. She grinned, "you can play too sweetheart. It's fun!"

Jim grinned. Thank god he had his emotional support embarrassed boyfriend or the tiny spark of panic he felt might've turned into a roaring flame. "I'm a Gemini, actually. I hope that's compatible with aries." God. He hated himself. "Hm, Good Eats by Alton Brown, Homer's Odyssey and The Complete Works of Percy Bysshe Shelley. I think I'd fuck Thor and marry Luigi, unless I can fuck who I marry, then it's the other way around and of course," he smiled, preparing a bite of chilli. "Kill Kennedy. How about you Beth?"

Beth laughed and poured some wine into the glasses before them with a grin. "Well," she smiled, looking very pleased with herself indeed, "I've always wanted to kill a god..." Sebastian rolled his eyes out of his head but he couldn't help smiling, "-and I guess I'd marry Luigi, kind eyes on that man. Fuck Kennedy, just to say I did it." She smiled, looking over at Sebastian expectantly. "Oh, I'm not playing," he supplied around a mouthful of chilli, "you're gonna say some bullshit," he pointed his spoon at her to emphasize his point, remembered what Jim said about their similarities, and quickly returned it to his bowl, "and fucking, trap me, I dunno how! But you will!" She grinned.

"Come on babe, we both went, it's your turn." Jim took a sip of wine and was mildly impressed by Beth's choice. It was, really good. Not as good as the chilli, but, really good. "Please? By the way, this is amazing Beth."

"You're on her side?!! You've known her 20 minutes!! I've fenced off ur inevitable death by scurvy for 8 fucking months! probably more!!" Beth bowed her head a little, "why thank you, good sir!" She turned to smiled at him maniacally. "... Well?" This turn south and he knew it, he took a hefty sip of wine. "Fuck Luigi, kill Thor, marry Kennedy."

"I am /not/ at risk for scurvy. I'm perfectly healthy. My iron deficiency is hereditary." Jim took another sip of wine. "I can't believe you both killed Thor, having any association with royalty is a status boost, even if you've just shagged."

"When the guillotine comes out again those associations won't age so well," Beth supplied with a grin. Sebastian rolled his eyes, it was fucking Thor. "/Mother/," he responded, smirking, in faux-exasperation, "Jim is clearly just sleeping with him to gather information, for the Resistance, to overthrow the tyrannical reign of there-being-thunder-in-storms, which has oppressed us far too long." Beth's eyes narrowed, "Fuck marry kill: Han Solo, greek goddess Athena, and Tony the tiger." YEAH THERE IT FUCKING WAS. Sebastian could feel his cheeks get a little hot, "Fuck you." His mom looked, incredibly pleased with herself.

Jim responsed immediately. "Fuck Han Solo, marry Athena, kill Tony the Tiger." Jim glanced at Sebastian. Oh? Interesting. "I /would/ consider fucking Tony the Tiger, but Han Solo's life is just so, /romantic/. What about you babe?"

Sebastian took the last bite of his chilli and got up, picking up his dish to bring to the sink, smiling politely, blushing very slightly, "no I'm actually not playing anymore actually, actually? Fuck this I'm Not Playing." He moved to rinse the bowl, and Beth's smile grew. She turned to Jim, "When Sebastian was about 4 years old-" "I was really cute! I was really cute and that's the whole story!"

Jim smiled and looked at Beth "No no no, please go on, when Sebastian was four?".

Beth opened her mouth but Sebastian beat her to it, he refused to give her the satisfaction. "I said I was going to marry Tony the Tiger!! Some fucking adult, at my aunt's wedding, asked if I was ever going to get married!" Beth was laughing, Sebastian was, not yelling, just, loud, "and I said I was going to marry Tony the Tiger!!" Beth wiped a tear away and reached to take Jim's hand over the table and look him in the eyes, "He said-" she was cut off as she started laughing again but pulled herself back together and tried again, "He said that Tony the Tiger just, 'looked like a husband'." 

"And apparently I've never done anything noteworthy since!! Because she still tells everyone the fucking Tony the Tiger story!!" Sebastian was still loud and gesturing but Beth was loosing it and he couldn't help it he was smiling a little too, "I peaked age four!! Sorry babe!! I'm actually still engaged to Tony the Tiger!!!"

Jim was biting his lip and smiling rly, rly wide n trying hard not to. "Oh my god, I cant believe you've been playing me this whole time Seb, I totally thought you were into Toucan Sam." Jim looked at Beth. "You're the best, this is the best, thank you."

"Literally, everyone had a childhood crush on Han Solo that's not even- This game sucks and let the record show I didn't want to play from the very beginning." Sebastian folded his arms and leaned back against the counter but he was loosing his affected venom, it was, unfortunately, too sweet to watch Jim actually seem to enjoy himself. Beth smiled at Jim and took another sip of wine, "Oh it's really, no trouble at all, darling, you're too kind."

Jim finished his plate and stood up. "It was delicious, thank you, Beth." He walked over to Sebastian and gave him a kiss on the forehead, standing on his tiptoes a little. "/I/ didnt have a childhood crush on Han Solo. Or Tony the Tiger, for that matter." He looked back at Beth. "Should I leave it in the sink, or?"

"That's perfect, hon," she smiled. Sebastian smiled faintly and his hands moved instinctively around Jim's waist. "That so? No Athena either? Who was your number one childhood crush?" Beth smiled at her wine glass, "Mine was Ringo Starr," Sebastian rolled his eyes but couldn't stop his lips from twitching up at the corner into a little smile, "I know, mom." He turned back to Jim, "just pretend she's not here, pretend she's literally on the other side of the world and that this is a safe space, who was your childhood crush?"

Jim pretended he didnt hear Sebastian, peacefully rinsing off his dish and placing it gently in the sink. He smiled a little and turned around to face Sebastian. "Sorry, what? Didn't hear you." He slipped out of his boyfriends grasp and moved back to his wine at the table. "I know who Ringo Starr is." He did, he was proud of this actually, he wasnt /that/ stupid.

Beth paused for a moment, furrowed her brow slightly, and then gave a little snort and raised an eyebrow at her son. Sebastian was already grinning, "No. Hey. Heyheyheyheyhey... Who, was your childhood crush? Me and mom said ours, in one way or another, aren't these little games fun? Its your turn!"

Jim glared at Sebastian and took a sip, no, that was a little more than a sip, of his wine. He sighed and looked at the ceiling, teeth clenched. "Marlon Brando from the 1953 Julius Caesar."

Beth and Sebastian held out almost exactly the same 0.7 seconds before both laughing until they almost cried. "Babe!" Seb managed finally, pulling himself together to just stare at Jim in awe and ecstasy, "oh, jesus christ." He returned to his place at the table to take Jim's hand in his own and kiss it. "You literally, never cease to amaze me." Beth was giggling and pouring herself another glass, Sebastian continued, "you like 'em-" He cut himself and scrunched his eyes shut, he was Not going to just keep laughing, "you like 'em, conflicted and, inexplicably covered in oil?"

"You like them furry, orange and inexplicably associated with children??" Jim's eyes were happy despite his aggravated tone. "It holds up! Have you seen the 1953 Julius Caesar? He's beautiful, especially when, he's conflicted." He held his glass out towards Beth. "...and covered in oil. May I please have some more?"

"Oh honey," She reached across, grinning, and was already pouring, "you've earned it." Sebastian had his face propped up by one hand covering his eyes, elbow on the table, "Jim, babe, I know it's Marlon Brando but, just, oh my god." Beth hummed, "no I get it, smart, conniving, whole other thing going on underneath the surface, he's got it all figured out," she took a small sip and considered it, "that power for ya."

The irony of Beth, literally describing himself was not lost on Jim, and he would be lying if he said that he hadn't blushed a little. He let himself glance at Sebastian quickly, knowingly, before taking another drink of his wine. "So Beth, do you have anymore stories about Sebastian for me? Any photo albums for me to peruse?"

Beth grinned, got to her feet, and half-danced towards the living room, making a motion for Jim and Sebastian to follow. Seb sat for a second. That had, shaken him a little if he was honest? He... hm. He wasn't, uncomfortable exactly, but it was starting to dawn on him that having Jim, there, was kind of a recipe for reminders about how much he was, lying to his mom. Which was fine. Better than fine actually, he was a professional assassin dating a criminal mastermind, she /shouldn't/ know. And he'd made his peace with that years ago. But it still felt, like this, and that's how, it was gonna feel, when it, came up. ...Obviously. He sighed and took another sip of wine before getting up. It was sorta nice, that she did kind of get it, just maybe, bitter-sweet a little.

Glancing at Sebastian, Jim knew that, something was up. He could make a couple guesses as to what, too. Jim stood up, taking his wine with him, and put a hand on Sebastian's face, turning it towards his own. He couldn't really get it, he was fine with lying to people. To everyone except Sebastian. And on the rare occasions he'd had to withhold truth from him, it sucked. And that was just after four years of knowing each other, he couldn't imagine what it was like after two and a half decades. He looked Seb in the eyes for a moment, then kissed his forehead and followed Beth into the living room. Despite the brief seriousness of the situation, he was very, very excited to find more forbidden knowledge about his freak of a boyfriend.

The little wordless check-in did do Sebastian good, and he smiled as he followed behind his excited mother and boyfriend. Beth was already on the couch, pulling one of the thicker albums onto her lap, "He was a tiger 4 years in a row, then a pirate, a jedi, a lizard person, abraham lincoln, and a boxer, but then another child said boxing was dumb and he gave the kid a black eye." She turned the page revealing a very upset twelve year old with his hands bandaged up like a boxer, scowling outside what appeared to be a school nurses office.

"I'm really seeing a pattern here babe, is beating people up a hobby of yours?" Despite his efforts to look like one, Jim wasn't a Robot, and he kind of wondered if that angry little boxer was acting out due to familial stressors. Just wondered. He watched and smiled and laughed and took a few elbows to the ribs from Sebastian as Beth flipped through the rest of elementary school (Jim was right, Sebastian /was/ punk when he was fourteen, and it was absolutely fucking adorable) and eventually Beth traded the album in for a smaller one, much to Sebastian's chagrin. Highschool was a lot smaller, clearly Sebastian was spending less time at home and more out, drinking? Picking fights? Lighting up and fucking tigers? But this album did have a few golden moments, wrestling tournaments won and a trip to the ocean, but most importantly, prom. Jim pointed at a page full of pictures where Sebastian was almost certainly /not/ alone. "Who the fuck is that?"

"Oh jesus," Sebastian laughed, "fucking Bea Yoshioka!! I haven't thought about her in years!! She was literally the coolest person in my entire shitty highschool and I was /obsessed/ with her. She basically never went to class, and drew these ridiculously detailed little comics about superheros all the time, she had a stick and poke tattoo of a ham sandwich on her collarbone, fuck look!! you can see it!! Anyway, she was deadpan funny and sold instant coffee packets out of her locker because the caf couldn't sell that shit n literally anyone could bring it from home but no one ever thought of it. And we were like, actually kind of friends sorta. So like a month before prom, I was so sure she was going with someone else already, but mama didn't raise a quitter so I psyched myself up, bought a 4 pack of redbull and made a shitty sign about her giving me wings and also potentially heart failure and also a fuckload of fun and she said yes!!! And I literally couldn't beileve it, we kind of had a blast, we liked all the same music so we both wanted to dance to the same songs and when we were just chilling she told me all the dirt she had on our old teachers, and she fucking knew shit I have no idea how but it was insane. And we went to this after party and it got busted, and we ran from the cops and hid in this playground in the dead of night and we laughed so hard we almost puked and I kissed her and she laughed and kissed me back and I asked her if she'd, like, actually be my girlfriend, and she just like froze for a minute and I was like FUCKFUCKFUCK but only on the inside, outside I was very cool and casual, I assume, and then she started fucking crying and told me she was gay and she'd never told anyone before and she didn't know what to do!!!! and then I started crying!! and told her I was bi!! And we were drunk and 17 and in a kids park on prom night, hugging and crying, and then laughing and swinging, and then we stumbled here and fell asleep on the couches. Looking back it was actually kind of, fucking perfect, it was sort of excellent. She went to some art school in California and met a girl, we actually wrote each other letters for like, years,,, fuck. I should call her." He sat back on the couch his vision still swimming with memories flooding in, his little nostalgia trip had sort of exhausted his slightly tipsy brain.

One of the things Jim hated most about being, ugh, in love, was that he had suddenly learned to feel, empathy. He felt bad for the way he asked about Bea now, and he felt, something, for Sebastaian, and even for /her/, someone he'd never met, after hearing Seb gush about it. Fuck, relationship stuff kinda, sucked. He felt like, he had something to apologize for even though he didn't but, one of the perks of learning this new and inconvenient empathy was that he also learned how to apologize without saying anything. He looked up at Seb and put a hand on his thigh and said, tenderly, quietly, "You should."

Jim's presence pulled Sebastian back to reality with a little start, thankfully Jim was sort of always a pleasant face to see and Sebastian smiled and kissed his forehead reassuringly. Beth closed the album fondly and slid it back into place before sitting peacefully back on the couch. "So, dinner, childhood secrets, old photo albums, what else do I do again? It's been a while, hon." Sebastian glared at her but it didn't have any bite to it and he was a smiling lazily too. "Where do you work again Jim? Is it interesting? You could tell me about it if it's interesting but if it isn't /please/ don't feel you have to."

"Oh,Sebastian hasn't told you? It's pretty mundane, business consulting sort of? I manage deals with financially fortunate clients and try to get them to give as much of their money away as possible. On the surface it sounds like a Robin Hood type deal but on paper," Jim paused to take a sip of wine non nonchalantly, "I'm essentially just a cog in the machine. Really, I don't want to bore you with the details."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes a little but he was slightly buzzed from the wine and felt, good. It wasn't- if he scoured his memory it wasn't completely /untrue/? Ugh, whatever. Beth looked pleased, "I approve," she stated with a nod and took another slow sip of wine, "so that's you, currently. What about before? You can tell me if I'm prying of course, I'm just curious, I know very little about your life, this one" she gestured at Sebastian, "can be absolutely impossible sometimes, as I'm sure you know better than most, give meeee, 5 minutes biography?"

"Oh, shit, well," Jim was, not unaffected by the wine. He also wasn't expecting to have go divulge that much information. His life wasn't really a sob story but, it was, up until eight months ago, almost completely crime centric. A topic he had been told to completely avoid. Jim was also sure that Sebastian didn't want him to lie, so, as close to the truth as possible then. "Uh, well, I got caught in a messy situation as a kid and I did some time in juvie before I was cleared at a retrial, after I got out I finished highschool and got job as soon as I was out, made as many connections possible and eventually I clawed my way up to my current job. I met Sebastian about, four years ago and he was a pain in the fucking ass at first, but a loveable one." Jim shrugged. "I met Lady Gaga when I was twenty two, I was Ophelia in a horrible high school production of Hamlet and I play piano, sometimes, but that's about it." When he finished Jim glanced at Sebastian and realized that, he slipped up a little. He hadn't told Sebastian about the school play, or about Juvie. He figured Seb was a little more upset by the latter.

Sebastian's head swam. Was this a lie? If he was making up juvie that was a weird fucking pull it didn't make sense, and when Jim looked at him with that hint of 'oh, fuck' in his eyes it became a little too clear that no, he wasn't making that bit up. Eight fucking months. Ok, cool. They were both, looking at him. He didn't think he was actually showing that much upset but he was also sitting on a couch with the two people in the world who knew him better than absolutely anyone. He finished off his wine, and took a deep breath. Beth gave him a slightly questioning look but she knew better than most when not to ask. He looked at Jim and sighed a little. He got it, he did, just... fuck. "I, uh, I need a smoke." He did kiss Jim's forehead before getting up, he wasn't pissed just, fucking tired. "Back soon," and he disappeared out the door to the back porch. Beth gave Jim a sympathetic smile in the brief silence that followed, "oops," she supplied plainly.

Jim shrugged and sighed. "It's not your fault I didnt tell him a huge piece of information about my childhood, that is, 100% my fault." Half of Jim's head was screaming at him to follow Sebastian and the other half was telling him to leave him the fuck alone while he figured his shit out. Jim pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled, willing his thoughts to calm the hell down. "It's been, a while since he needed to 'take a smoke'." Jim looked at Beth. "I promise I'm a better boyfriend than I look like, please don't feed me to the fishes." Beth smiled at him, laughing a little. "I know Jim. Shit happens, you're definitely not the worst boy he's brought home." She paused for a second, then hummed thoughtfully. "I'd say... you're top three material." Jim smiled, maybe a little sadly, and stood up. "I'm gonna walk really really slowly to the porch and see if he wants to, uh, continue seeing me." He did so, but before leaving the living room he turned around. "Thanks, Beth. I love him, a lot." Beth smiled. "I can tell."

Sebastian found the pack with relative ease and he still carried a lighter. He did pause to stare into the darkness behind the house before closing his eyes and taking a long drag off one of his mom's secret cigarettes. He'd been totally off nicotine for about 4 months, which wasn't any kind of personal record or anything but the thought did worm it's way into his brain. He really did feel, just fucking tired. He tried to focus his mind on, anything remotely sensible. Jim, obviously hadn't wanted to talk about it before, and crafting half-lies slightly drunk was probably more detachment from his own past than Jim's brain usually afforded him. That was, human. It made sense, so he shouldn't be angry. The thing was, it wasn't anger necessarily? He couldn't exactly place what he felt. He took another drag. He heard the door open behind him, couldn't say he was too surprised. He glanced at Jim and then turned back to the backyard, blowing out smoke. "Ex-con? That's got street cred babe, can't believe you've witheld my bragging rights," he wasn't actually trying to be a dick but the joke sounded dead coming out of his mouth and he felt a little bit like he was stuck in a fog. He looked down to fiddle with the pack of cigarettes. "They aren't mine," he qualified, "mom's been quitting, well, says she's quitting aaanndd," he counted the contents to compare mentally to his last visit, "actually she's been doing really well." He smiled a little, that made one of them. No. Bullshit, he was doing well too, this was just- yeah he didn't fucking know. He seemed to be moving on autopilot. He held out the pack without looking up. He sounded dead when he spoke but maybe with a little more venom this time, "you smoke?"

"I'm an ex con, Sebastian, what do you think?" Jim said it, softly. A little jokingly. He felt bad. Foreign feeling, up until lately. "I thought you quit, it's been, 16 weeks, 5 days."

Sebastian felt like he should look his boyfriend in the face. He couldn't actually, make himself do it, but he registered the instinct with a slight scowl. "Yup, hate to disappoint." He was almost done his cigarette and was seriously considering lighting another. This was stupid. It wasn't a big deal and he was overreacting. He opened his mouth to ask- ...ask what? Literally anything about /that/? He closed his mouth, around the cigarette, and finished it. He felt like, okay, it had obviously been shit for Jim, and Sebastian was in no state currently to be empathetic about that baggage, so he just shouldn't ask. But he also, simultaneously felt like, he wasn't going to ask because he wasn't going to be the one to fucking breech the topic and it wasn't fucking on him and he hadn't got them into this little mess to begin with fuck this BITCH. Yeah, there is was. He was maybe a little angry.

Jim was quiet for a few seconds. Sebastian's voice was definitely carrying an animosity he hadn't heard before. Had he really, fucked up this bad by not telling him? "That's not what I mean, you aren't," he sighed "You're the farthest thing from a disappointment babe you're like," fuck, was he really gonna say this was he really- "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me?" Fuck, really Jim? All your cards on the table? Jesus Christ. Sebastian still wasn't looking at him, fuck. "...yeah, sorry babe, I-" his voice cracked. "I don't know."

The unfamiliar sound of the voice crack activated some instinct that was a little too strong and nearly snapped Sebastian's neck as his head spun up to look at Jim. The ice dissipated about as quickly as it came and once again, or probably more so, he was just exhausted. He wasn't, over it, exactly, but, fuck. "Hey," his voice was quiet and soft and incredibly tired but the venom was gone. He sighed, put the pack of cigarettes back under the ceramic toad beside him, and moved across the porch to hug his stupid, fucked up boyfriend. He just stood there for a minute appreciating the comforting warmth of Jim's body and then he pressed a kiss onto the side of his head. "Hey..." he mumbled into Jim's hair, "I love you. I'm tired, and I'm, confused, and I'm sorry too. And I love you, it's okay, you're okay, you don't have to tell me anything until you're ready, I just got overwhelmed that's not your fault, it's fine." He kissed Jim's head again softly, "I love you."

"No, fuck, it's a shitty way for you to find out, I-" Jim hugged Sebastian back. "I love you too." Jim sighed and placed his head on Sebastian's chest. "I pushed my stepdad down the stairs when I was fourteen. On purpose, he hit his head hard at the bottom and he died. The first lawyer was shitty and I went to Juvie, the second one was better and said it was self defence, even though it, wasn't." Jim paused, exhaling. Was it possible to hold your breath while you were talking? "That time. I'm sorry I just, haven't really, told anyone and I didn't even know I could? Until..." he trailed off. Until your mom asked me and I totally could have lied, just like I have been to you for eight months, but, I didn't. For some weird, fucked up psycho reason.

Sebastian's muscles stiffened a little instinctively but there was no point feeling homicidal towards a man who was already long dead and he knew it wasn't productive anyway. He just held Jim closer and listened. "... fuck." Great start, his brain was running on empty a little, "I, had no idea, I..." he pulled back so he could look Jim in the face, "I'm so sorry." He paused, exhaled, and then rested his forehead against Jim's. "You don't need to explain yourself, you don't owe anyone anything, and I'm, really, really grateful that you told me, and that you trust me, and that you're like, just the right height to kiss on the forehead," he kissed him on the forehead, obviously. "I know this shit's hard, I'm really fucking proud of you, actually, and I'm proud to be your boyfriend, as always, obviously. You're good," he kissed his forehead again, for good measure, "really."

Jim blushed a little and smiled, pressing his face into Sebastian's neck. "Not the answer I was expecting when I decided to tell my boyfriend that I murdered someone in cold blood when I was fourteen, but, I'll take it." He kissed Sebastian's neck, slowly, then adjusted to kiss him again still slowly, very softly, on the lips. "I love you, thank you, I'm sorry this took forever and I'm sorry if, I ruined things with your mom."

Sebastian smiled, letting his eyes close and just, resting, jesus. "Oh you definitely didn't. The dude who tried to steal her weed and then claimed he was trying to save her soul for the Lord? He ruined things with my mom. You didnt ruin shit, my mom thinks you're awesome."

Jim laughed, a real one. "Fuck, really? You're not making that up are you?" Jim pressed a kiss to Sebastian's jaw as he nestled closer into his embrace. "I guess Beth wasnt kidding when she said I was top three material."

Sebastian grinned, "She said that? Oh, she must really like you." He kissed Jim's forehead again, for luck, and took a step back, "head back in?"

Jim sighed and nodded. "Head back in." Holding Sebastian's hand he started for the door, but quickly turned around to face his boyfriend. "Sorry, what was it that /you/ do for a living again? What job could possibly land you in the hospital every other month, babe?"

"Oh I'm a freelance roofer, the hospital visits are just from a slightly... violent social life." Sebastian grinned. "And the occasional tumble off a roof, which technically, isn't entirely false! I spend a decent amount of time on rooftops and do, sometimes, end up falling off ...though perhaps not completely, unaided."

Jim smiled, opening the door. "And I guess I disapprove of this violent social life? Or do I encourage it, does my pretty face incite some of this unnecessary violence?" Jim was having fun again, they'd moved over the little speedbump, but Jim was pretty sure he wasn't/completely/ off the hook yet. Either Sebastian would want a longer, fuller story or he'd want his stepdad's old personal details and a list of living family members.

Sebastian almost laughed. "You? Disapprove? I'm lying but I'm not exactly KGB, babe, dunno if I could pull that one off."

Jim rolled his eyes and walked in. "I'm not /that/ obvious about it, you're exaggerating, I'm perfectly calm and collected and not at all turned on in situations where you get violent." He grinned at Sebastian. "In fact, I'm horrified by it. Makes me sick to my stomach!"

"mmmhave to remember to leave you at home next time," Sebastian hummed. Beth was on the couch with another photo album, this one from Sebastian's infancy, smiling at what appeared to be a peaceful, sleeping baby, rare indeed. She looked up, surveyed the couple, still couple? Yes, very much so, "Are you plotting misadventures?? On /my/ porch??" She pointed at Sebastian but looked at Jim, "I didn't raise him this way! This is a cruel twist of fate!" Sebastian smiled, she was curious, sure, but she had the sense to leave it be and he appreciated it, "Oh please, you've been plotting on that porch since long before I showed up."

Jim smiled to himself. Damn, this family, was good. It kinda went against all of the ideas he had personally ingrained in his head over the years about what family was. He, liked it. He liked being here. He didn't mind it. He made a mental note in his head to probe Sebastian about his past as payback for the juvie thing (Jim, why, don't, that was your fault) and sat next to Beth on the couch again. "So, how come Sebastian was never a spy for Halloween?"

"Oh it came up! But a son of mine? Playing at working for the government? No." She finished off her wine and placed the glass on the coffee table shaking her head, "Pirate was something of a compromise." Sebastian rolled his eyes, "she just told me it'd be more fun to have a fake sword than a fake tazer and I couldn't argue with that! She was right!"

That was fucking cute. "Fuck the government." Jim smiled and looked up at Seb. "Do you have anything else planned babe? Show me your childhood bedroom? Sit here for the foreseeable future becoming more and more humiliated as your mom tells me what you were like in middle school?"

"Oh!" Beth sat up, surprised, "Shit! I never showed you around the house! I knew I was forgetting something." Sebastian grinned and felt his heart warm a little, "This is," he informed Jim, "the woman who loved me so much she got up at 6:30am every day for a year to walk me to school because older kids were picking on me on the bus and I was too young to walk alone, but it is also the woman, who fully just straight up left me at soccer practice, significantly more than once. Sebastian who? She was reading Agatha Christie, she could not be expected to remember she had a child!" Beth threw a pillow at him which he caught and tossed onto a chair beside him as she went down the hall and opened a room with blue walls, a fuckton of comics on the bookshelf and competingly large Green Day and Kesha posters. "Guess who," she said fondly, leaning against the doorframe.

Jim stepped in. The blue was almost identical to that of a shirt Sebastian had stolen from him months ago, stupid detail, but, significant. To Jim, at least. There were a fuckton of books, not that Jim expected any different. Sebastian acted like an idiot but Jim had listened intently to his theories about spy and mystery novels and mentally casted him in Shakespeare productions when he was bored (he'd be a fantastic Macduff, a handsome Lysander and, coincidentally, a very good Sebastian). Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, Roadside Picnic and Watchmen were pushed up against the Scott Pilgrim series and some Naruto mangas. The bed, wasnt made, there were cigarette butts in an ashtray beside it and a half empty pack rested next to a bong by the window. It was so unapologetically Sebastian (I mean, the fucking Kesha posters) that Jim could've cried. "When was the last time you slept here babe?"

"Oh that's a good ques-" It was. His mother was quick to jump in: "Not last New Year's eve but the one before, he came here at 3am, hammered, and almost definitely high, with a quarter of a bottle of tequila, to tell me something about a profound realization that he wanted to fuck his boss, and I reminded him, that he doesn't have a boss, and he just stared at me, and went '.... right' real slow, and told me we should both forget this ever happened, and that /he/ fully intended to, and then he downed the rest of the tequila in one and passed out on that bed." Sebastian stared at her. "Sorry!" she smiled, "I would've told you but you sounded very determined to forget, and in case there really was some poor fucker you had decided was your 'boss' while you were tripping, I figured I shouldn't bring it up! But I mean, Jim did ask, and I'm assuming the statute of limitations has probably expired on that one though, and you were," she cupped the side of his face lovingly, "/super/ fucked up."

Jim's mind went through a wide range of emotions in just a few seconds. The initial shock of the story almost overpowered him but was pushed aside by the fact that he was overwhelmed by how fucking cute Sebastian was, then confusion, that was, almost two years ago, holy motherfucking shit this bastard, but oh, Beth doesn't know that I am a criminal mastermind who controls London and was, still am, her son's (my boyfriend's!!!) boss. Technically speaking. So he kept his cool, turned to Sebastian. "Babe, oh my god." Back to Beth. "Did he /really/?? Sorry, I've just never been exposed to anyone who understands how much of an agent of chaos Sebastian is, its overwhelming. Its euphoric, right babe?"

Sebastian ignored the question in favour of staring straight ahead in disbelief. "... I ...you're fucking with me." He turned to face his mother still looking absolutely stunned but the ridiculousness of the whole affair almost made him burst out laughing, "You're fucking with me this is fake!" Beth laughed at him, "I can't make that shit up! I had no idea what you were on!" Sebastian stared at her for a second longer, before blinking, and turning to Jim, "I don't remember this at all that means it basically didn't happen." Beth rolled her eyes, "It was 2 years ago, dear, I'm sure he's not jealous, or thinking anything of it at all for that matter!" Sebastian narrowed his eyes at his grinning boyfriend, they couldn't talk about it here thank god, this bastard looked a little too fucking pleased with himself, "yeah... you're right I'm sure he's not thinking, anything." Beth looked at him in mild confusion but decided to just shrug and turn out of the room, "anyway, tour! the studio's just down the hall!" she called behind her.

Jim waited till he thought Beth was significantly out of earshot before standing on his toes to whisper in Sebastian's ear. "You thirsty fucking whore." He smiled and traipsed after Beth. "Studio? Ceramics right?"

Sebastian shook his head at Jim's retreating form. He'd worked so, so hard to keep that ego in check, only for his own mother to erase all his efforts in one fell swoop. He detected a lingering glee in Jim's stride and couldn't stop himself from smiling, just a little, as he followed down the hall. He'd find something to knock him down a peg soon enough, Jim could have this for now.

Beth Moran's studio was an absolute disaster, in a way that looked more like a renaissance painting than a city dump, though the line between the 2 was quite fine. Horrifying and Beautiful porcelain marianettes hung from the ceiling, brightly coloured paints and dyes were lined along tall shelves, and sketches and notes and measurements seemed to grow on every conceivable surface: old stools, what must be a desk and several taller vases and sculptures. If you looked closely you could pick out perhaps more ostrich motifs than strictly conventional, but there really was an assortment of works, big and small, mugs and bowls and little friends, and they were just about everywhere. "Well," she picked up a little sparrow fondly, "there is, I admit, a touch of clutter, but you must understand, the pots don't mind the mess."

Jim laughed softly. /The pots don't mind the mess/, no wonder Sebastian was they way he was. In the same way that the clutter in Sebastian's room had felt like a clear reflection of him, this room was So Obviously Beth. Jim had only known her for two hours but that was just, how clear it was. The ostriches were a nice touch. "Holy shit, just, wow." Jim /liked/ art, he personally admired modernist work- it was so quaint how they were all searching for their own little utopia, and they were all so vehement that they were /right/. So cute. Beth's studio was different, it offered, a refreshing self awareness. He liked the marionettes. He walked over to a shelf n delicatly picked up a little friend in the shape of a tiger. "A commission?" He asked gleefully, nodding his head towards Sebastian.

Beth walked over and looked at the tiger fondly, "This little lady is actually a little bit older than Sebastian, made her while I was pregnant, Belinda." Sebastian's eyes also lit up a little when he saw her, "oh shit, she's not even cracked? I thought I played with that thing like all the time, thats a miracle." Beth smiled and leaned slightly towards Jim, "When he means to be," she said in a hushed tone, "he can actually be very careful, and gentle, and sweet." Sebastian rolled his eyes, "Mom oh my god, sappy, gross, stop."

"I know." Jim said, maybe a little to wistfully. Oops, that was, too revealing. He placed the Tiger gently back on the shelf. "Not bad for going on twenty seven Belinda." He stepped back and looked at the room in whole again. "This is, amazing Beth, how long have you been doing this?"

Beth looked a little surprised by the question and then seemed to be running some quick math in her head, "oh shit.... hmm... must be going on about 32 years!" She paused, looking a little stunned as the words came out of her mouth, and then she laughed in disbelief. "Holy shit," she blinked at Sebastian, still recovering from the shock of it all, "I'm /old/!" Sebastian smirked at her, "Oh practically on death's door, you poor, poor woman. Wanna tell me about the good old days? Are you guilting me to get denture-money? Is there a street nearby you'd like me to help you cross?" Beth glared at him. He rolled his eyes and turned to Jim, "she's being dramatic, she's 56." Beth sputtered and gestured around aimlessly, "Abraham Lincoln DIED at 56!!!!" Sebastian almost started laughing, Jesus Christ this woman, "yeah real famously!!! of bullet to the brain!!!! Mom!!!" She huffed, "... I could get assassinated, you don't know, bet you'd be sorry then, you don't know all my shady connections!" She was joking, obviously, but the sentiment cut a little bit deeper than she could have predicted. Sebastian's smile faltered for only a moment and his mother was too busy arguing for her own senility to notice but, fuck. /You don't know all your shady connections either./ He couldn't say it, obviously, but, /fuck/. It was fine, he knew this genre of thought would worm it's way into tonight wherever it could, that was fine, he was doing this for Ji- No. /with/ Jim, he was doing this /with/ Jim, they had t- Oh. Right. Genuinely wasn't alone in this. Did actually have the support of a loving boyfriend who definitely noticed him tense and understood why. Crazy the shit you forget when you're trying to convince yourself not to freak out over the possibility of someone murdering your mom. Even when he felt a little like the eccentrically decorated walls were closing in, he did have Jim. Sebastian took a step to lean against a shelf and take his boyfriend's hand in his own. It really was incredible how steadying that one little point of contact could be. Properly anchored, he found it much easier to smile fondly again at his mother's foibles. "You're insane." he informed her. She opened her mouth to retort but he beat her to it, "If you say that's dementia, I'll have an aneurism!! Who'll be sorry then???" She closed her mouth and scowled a little instead.

Jim watched them argue, a little excitedly at first, but he instinctively looked at Sebastian when Beth made the joke about assasination. He did falter, and surprisingly Beth, didn't notice. Jim let his hand brush up against his boyfriends knuckles and was unsurprised when Sebastian took it in his own. As the fight finished with the same hilarity it began with, Jim couldn't help detecting a little bit of a quiver in Seb's voice. Almost imperceptible, but, still undoubtedly there. "Is there anywhere else Beth?" He squeezed Sebastian's hand a little, just cause, he could.

And maybe, he was a little worried about him.

Maybe.

"Hm?" Beth looked up, "oh! hmmm, no I think that's just about everything worth seeing." Sebastian smiled at her, "Well," he kissed the side of Jim's head, "we should probably get going soon anyway, it's getting late and I've got a job in the morning." She checked an ornate little clock on the wall and looked surprised at the hour, "Oh! Yes of course," She turned to Jim and smiled warmly, taking his head between her hands and kissing his forehead, "you are welcome anytime."

Jim smiled and blushed a little at the gesture. "Thanks Beth, I had a great time." They followed Beth to the door and Sebastian recieved another forehead kiss amidst some final teasing about Tony the Tiger before closing the door behind them. Jim didn't even wait until they'd left the front stairs before speaking. "So, crush on your boss huh?"

Sebastian couldn't help smiling as he headed to the car, "I'll, fucking kill you in ur sleep," he sang quietly. You know what? All in all? Not a terrible night. He glanced at Jim, grinning beside him and remembered his mom's warm farewell. He would go so far as to call the whole affair, a success. He just happened to be, absolutely exhausted by it all.

"Of course of course, my bad." Jim leaned against the car and pretended to be occupied with his fingernails. "I shouldn't tease you, you're a dangerous assassin, but remind me babe, how long did you want to fuck me for?"

Sebastian unlocked the car. "That was before I knew how absolutely impossible you are to be around," he shrugged with a slight smile.

Jim scoffed and opened his door. "It takes one to know one darling!" He sang, sliding into the passenger seat. He waited until Sebastian had sat down next to him before placing his hand over his boyfriends and looking up at him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about juvie sooner, and I'm sorry it came out the way it did. You, and, Beth, I guess, deserved better than that."

"No, I-" ugh. "I get it, it's okay, I'm just..." he pulled out onto the road and started back to Jim's, "I am, perhaps, way to worn out to have this conversation right now I'm, so sorry, can I sleep at your place? That was, legitimately really good and I don't regret doing it even a little but holy shit I am, drained."

Jim sighed a little and pulled his hand away. "Of course babe, I know what you mean." Jim laughed a little and closed his eyes, leaning back into his seat. "I'm glad you don't regret it, I know I'm no Tony the Tiger but I really hope I did, okay."

Sebastian sighed and he couldn't stop himself from smiling. "She's a menace, an absolute fucking nightmare. But babe, you did, perfect, she thinks you're excellent."

Jim smiled. "I know." The ride back was mostly silent, they were both, exhausted. When they pulled in front of Jim's flat it was passing midnight. Jim unlocked the door since Sebastian had forgotten his motherfucking key and they went up. As soon as Jim was inside he took off his coat and shoes and flopped down on the bed. He didn't even want to fuck. Sebastian was right, it /had/ been draining. "You don't /really/ have a job tomorrow do you?"

"yeah some asshole booked me a rooftop hang-sesh with a rifle, but it's not til 10 and it'll be an easy shot it's fine." Sebastian left his coat on the couch and immediately went to brush his teeth.

"Mmmmm cancel ittttt!" Jim called from the bed. He took off his shirt and jeans and threw them onto the hamper on his way into the bathroom. He reached around Sebastian from behind to hug him before grabbing his toothbrush and brushing alongside his boyfriend. After he had spit he rinsed his mouth quickly before turning to Sebastian. "Well this is disgustingly romantic, isn't it?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes, "yeah you /hate/ romantic, you're never romantic even a little, we have a purely sexual relationship, you don't even really like me that much," he kissed Jim on the forehead and went back to the bed, taking off his jeans and leaving them, on the floor he'd just put them on again in the morning who fucking cared. "And I can't just cancel someone's assassination, babe."

Jim climbed into bed beside Sebastian and kissed him on the cheek. "Why not? I ordered you to do it, I can order you to not. Who is it again? Threat to my image? Kaaaaalynski??"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at the ceiling scanning his brain. "Mmmmmyeah. Sorry, threat to your,,, you're getting me to kill this guy because he's a threat to your image? What does that even mean??"

Jim rolled over and moved his hand underneath Sebastian's shirt, tracing his muscles and the scars on his chest with his fingers. "He knows things he shouldn't and he appears to be making moves towards blackmailing me. Its kind of cute. I'm sure his plan is extremely detailed and elaborate and definitely effective."

Sebastian smiled at the feeling of Jim's hands, their familiar paths across his body, and scowled a little at what he was saying, "hmmm, well now I kinda wanna kill him, sounds like a dick."

"Ugh, babe, just let me reschedule it, pleaseeee." Jim half noticed that he was literally begging Sebastian not to go to a job that /he/ had set up. This was neither productive nor dignified but, Jim always got what he wanted, and he wanted some fucking soft scrambled eggs tomorrow. "Look, he lives alone and he likes to jack off after work, gets home at quarter after six and finishes at about six thirty. It's less appetizing than an office shot but," Jim shrugged. "I don't have to kill him."

Sebastian smiled a little, "You're ridiculous." He thought about for a little, it would be super fucking nice to just, not. "Fine, reschedule. But only because I want to sleep in more than, hm, probably anything?"

Jim pouted and tugged Sebastians shirt up further. "Take this off. Oh, yeah, sleep in, sure, but I want some of your eggs tomorrow." He kissed Sebastian's cheek again and rolled over.

Sebastian smiled, and took his shirt off, throwing it beside his jeans and falling back onto the bed beside Jim, "mmmmmade you eggs the first time I slept over," he remembered sleepily. "Bet that's why you kept me around," he smiled and felt himself drifting into a pleasant unconsciousness, "I make... best eggs..."

"Yeah," Jim replied, feeling himself going as well. "You're pretty hot too though, added bonus."

  
  



	7. Childhood - March 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian rolled his eyes, "You don't have a dress code, babe, you have a fetish, no one cares what their hitman wears as long as they don't stand out,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm. Well, I suppose I did preface this piece by saying it wasn't a fanfiction, it doesn't matter if there's absolutely no plot. This is literally just backstory and hurt comfort don't @ me babes 
> 
> ****Mention of child abuse, mention of domestic abuse, mention of violence, mention of drug use, mention of alcohol, mention of underage sex, language****

Sebastian could feel the warmth of sunlight on his face before he even opened his eyes. He'd had, some kind of dream about... weird, okay. He did open his eyes and rolled out of bed, he glanced at his clothes on the floor, they looked cold and untempting so he left them where they were and headed for the kitchen, turning in surprise at the last moment as he realized he hadn't checked if Jim was still asleep.

Jim snored.

Sebastian smiled at him, thought about waking him up, thought better of it, and retreated to the kitchen to start on breakfast. The fridge had become, in terms of daily average of real edible food items, considerably better stocked over the past 8 months, which wasn't saying much but it did mean they could have toast with their eggs so Sebastian wasn't complaining. He took down a frying pan, and pulled out his phone while the element started to heat and connected it to the little Bluetooth speaker sitting on the counter, it was, he decided, an ABBA morning.

Jim rolled over and felt the sun on his face. Mmm, nice. He felt beside him for his boyfriend and finding nothing, he blinked his eyes open sleepily and angrily. He heard "Honey Honey" playing from the kitchen. He smiled, less angry, still sleepy, and rolled out of bed. He walked to the kitchen and sat down at the island, laying his head down on the cold surface.

"Morning sleepyhead," Sebastian sang, "Coffee's ready soon, do you want tea too? I was thinking it's kind of a tea morning I dunno, how'd you sleep?"

"Tea /and/ coffee? You're not worried about my caffeine intake?" Jim looked up at smiled. "Good morning, I slept okay I think. Missed you when I woke up."

Sebastian hummed in recognition, and reached for the pepper. "You wanted eggs, I'm providing eggs, I figured you'd discover my incredible hiding spot soon enough," he said, gesturing to the tile in front of the stove. He did turn his head to smile at Jim, "love you too though."

Jim laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I know, how long until coffee?" He stood up and walked over to the stove, hugging Sebastian and kissing him on the forehead. "I love you, thanks for making breakfast."

Sebastian smiled and leaned over to check, "hmm, coffee's ready just about now," he reached over to pat the coffee maker, job well done. He pulled out two mugs and started on that, "if you're here can you give those a gentle stir?" he asked passing the egg spoon to Jim as he poured their sweet, sweet caffeine.

"Sure babe." Jim took the spoon and carefully stirred the eggs. Sebastian passed him the mug and he traded him for the spoon, holding his coffee with both hands and leaning up against the island, watching his boyfriend. "Cooking without a shirt?"

Sebastian glanced down and then up again with a small grin, "yes, and? Who are you, my mother? It's not exactly a flambé I think I'll be fine"

Jim rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm sure you've been through worse than anything a cast iron could do to you anyways." He sipped his coffee, feeling mmmmmm, alive and, prepared? "So, are we gonna talk about last night?"

Sebastian blinked at the eggs, ".... yyeeeaaahhh." He took a generous sip of coffee. "Sorry, yeah, yeah we should. We are." He took another sip. "Sorry, my- hmm," and another! "My dad was in my dream last night? I know that sounds, weird, just hasn't happened in, uh, a hot sec, so I'm a little, I dunno, sorry, to clarify, literally just a strange occurrence I didn't have some traumatic nightmare about my childhood or anything, my brain's not fully on the same frequency as, reality, quite yet. ...maybe, food first?" As though on queue he pulled the eggs off the heat before adding the last little bit of butter, giving them a couple final stirs, and heaping them onto a waiting plate.

Jim felt something pull at him from deep in his stomach. Not a good feeling. "Okay, yeah, food first." He was, in fact, looking forward to the eggs. "Have I ever told you how much I love these eggs? You're a fantastic cook, I owe Beth a thousand thank yous for the skills she's passed on to you."

Sebastian smiled bringing breakfast to the table, "We both owe Beth a thousand thank yous for one thing or another, but we need to keep the dosage low, can't concentrate them all at once or else her head will get so big she won't be able to fit it in the ridiculous clutter of her pottery room." He took a bite, his body offered a silent thank you, that did feel very right, most important meal of the day, made sense.

Jim laughed and started eating. They were, of course, amazing. He loved everything about when Sebastian stayed over, but breakfast was one of his favourite parts. They ate in sweet silence, Jim forgetting to sip his coffee in between bites, overwhelmed by how FUCKING GOOD the soft scramble was. He finished, pushed his plate away and looked at Sebastian, one hand on his coffee mug, the other inviting Seb to take it in his own. "So, weird dream?"

Sebastian put down his fork on an empty plate, "I really don't remember it, it's chill." He finished off his coffee, "Listen, I'm sorry I kind of freaked out yesterday, I don't want you to think you can't talk to me about shit or that I have some insane expectation that you need to tell me everything about yourself, I was a little buzzed and uh, surprised? Which I perhaps don't always deal with incredibly."

Jim gave him a look. "Listen, you don't have to tell me, but you didn't forget your dream that's, bullshit." Jim finished his own coffee, placing the mug gently down on the island. "Its fine babe, you're kind of trigger happy, it's to be expected. I mean, if you want to know more you could ask." He paused before adding, "you haven't told me much about the skeletons in your closet either."

Hmm, cool. He closed his eyes and took a breath, willing himself not to mentally run away, leaving his body to respond on autopilot. He /wanted/ to be, present, for this conversation he, didn't want to have. No, fuck off, he did, decision made, it was just scary he could deal. "That's, fair," mediocre start, "iiiiiiii," hm, "I, okay..." this was ridiculous, he looked Jim in the eyes, "do you want to tell me about your stepdad? Like, baby steps are fine, when did he come into your life?"

"Shit, I was probably..." Jim closed his eyes and did some mental math. "Six, I think. Yeah, I was six. He and mom were together on and off till I was nine and then they made it, permanent." Jim took a sip of his coffee. This was... weird. "You gonna deflect all day or can I ask you some questions too?" Jim said it softly. All of it, but the last bit especially, joking but, not really.

Sebastian felt hm, a little like, garbage, but, also not. He smiled faintly, "Are we gonna play a question for question game here? An emotional trauma shot for shot?"

"Yeah, okay." Jim took Sebastian's hand gently. "More coffee first though. And, in the bedroom." Jim took their mugs and refilled his and went to do Sebastian's before hesitating. "No, you said tea morning, didn't you." He put on the kettle and got Seb a new mug before turning around and looking at him, smiling. "Your dad left when you were twelve, right?"

Sebastian sighed, yeah, that was okay, "Eleven. It was February though so, almost twelve. It didn't exactly come out of nowhere though, I knew for months that he was eventually gonna fuck off, I just wanted him to get it over with." He stared idly into space. "So," he thought it over, baby steps, "how, long exactly, were you in Juvie?"

The kettle went. Jim poured the water and got the milk and sugar to do Sebastian's tea. He'd done it so many times that it was essentially muscle memory now. "Two years." He crossed the kitchen and put the tea in front of Sebastian. "Well, beginning of August 2007 until mid June in 2009." Seb looked, bad, definitely disassociating. Jim elbowed him gently. "Are you okay? We don't have to do this right now."

Sebastian thought it over. No hasty decisions. He looked up at Jim and smiled a little, "No, I actually, want to, if you do." He got up taking his tea in one hand and taking a sip. Perfect, obviously. "I know I'm acting kinda weird I think I'm just, adjusting? Which I think is good? If it's freaking you out I get it though, I do," he took Jim's hand in his and kissed the back, "bedroom? it's your turn if you want it."

Fuck, that hand kiss was cute. Eight months and he could still make Jim melt like it was easy. "Yeah, no I do, I do." Jim squeezed Sebastian's hand and walked with him into the bedroom. He sat down on the bed, leaving a space for his boyfriend next to him, and held his coffee with both hands. He took a sip. "When, did things start to go bad?"

Sebastian smirked and lay down beside Jim on his back, mug held in one hand and resting on his stomach. "That's, kind of an interesting question, actually. He was always an asshole, and he always said weird ass shit to me, he started cheating on my mom when I was, eight probably? Shit really started going downhill when I was ten, he got into coke again, and mom wanted to leave pretty soon after but we wouldn't have been able to get by without his fucking army pension so that was shit, they were fighting a lot, obviously, then, he'd never seriously hit me before but new years eve when I was eleven he, uh, beat the shit out of me? I spent a hot sec in the hospital, and when I came back mom said we were spending some time apart, but he was still, weirdly, around, came in very late and slept on the couch, ignored us and we ignored him, and then one day he was just uh, gone, along with several thousand dollars and my mom's car." Sebastian paused before sitting up and taking a sip of tea, "Yours?"

Jim tangled one of his hands on Sebastian's hair. He took a sip of coffee and started straight ahead of him at the same spot on the wall he'd been looking at since Sebastian started talking about his dad. "I'll kill him," he hummed, barely perceptible, into his mug. He shook himself a beat later and looked at his boyfriend. "Do you mean when did he start getting violent or when did I start fantasizing about killing him?"

Sebastian smiled faintly, "you'd be putting him out of his misery probably, not worth the effort to track him down." He paused to consider the question, "hmm, up for interpretation?"

Jim sighed, placing his mug on the nightstand and fully committing to playing with Sebastian's hair. "I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if he hit my mom before they got married but I didn't see it until I was nine. He did it front of me a few months after my tenth birthday and you know, didn't want me watching so he pushed my head into the wall a couple times. I guess that was so much fun he just kept doing it." Jim shrugged and pressed a kiss to Sebastian's forehead, hands still in his hair. "What kinda things did he say to you?"

Sebastian's brain took a second to catch up to the question, what came before was a little, gripping, but in a weirdly calm way. He reached out and tenderly brushed some hair off Jim's forehead, a head that almost didn't survive it's pre-teens apparently. It felt fragile in retrospect, like if his hand slipped it might fall back in time and kill him, but Sebastian shook the thought and focused. "Hey, quick pause, is this stupid? Are we, like, speed running this? Are we, I dunno, giving ourselves time to process shit?"

Jim suddenly became aware of the placement of his boyfriends hand. He took his left palm from Sebastian's head and placed it over the hand that was stroking his forehead absentmindedly. "We can go slower, that's okay by me, we can go, one at a time. You can ask me all you want and then we can, take a break and if you want, we can talk about you."

Sebastian mulled it over. "I just want to make sure you're okay? If that makes sense? I- hmm," He took another sip of tea and glanced out the window and then back at Jim, resolve restored. "He just said weird shit, there were many genres of weird I dunno if I can really sum it up. Sometimes when I'd make a mess as a kid he'd take out a knife and tell me he was gonna cut my hands off so that I wouldn't turn out like my mom? And he was acting like it was a joke and he always just put the knife away and laughed and shrugged after like it didn't really matter, sometimes he even helped me clean whatever it was up, I was just confused, like I had absolutely no idea what to make of it, I sort of still don't? But then there were also like, if I got too, feminine I guess? It usually came up if I was dancing or something? I dunno what set it off, but he'd make like, "jokes" I didn't understand about how I oughta be careful with my fragile little body if I didn't wanna get kidnapped by creeps, because he wasn't gonna pay ransom or something, he seemed to think that was really funny and I had, no idea what he was even taking about it just made me uneasy. But I kinda never knew what the fuck he was talking about, so it wasn't actually that jarring when it just, felt more fucked up than usual, it never even occurred to me to tell my mom. Years later, when I was, maybe 20? I finally brought it up, I, almost regret that, she had no fucking idea, and there was no way she could've known really, but it kinda, broke her when I told her, it's weird, one of the things I hate him for most is probably, making my mom feel like a shitty mom, that damage is, retroactive and ongoing, and uh, fucking sucks, yeah." Sebastian paused, he'd started shivering a little without noticing, he snorted a little and steadied himself, looking up at Jim again, "and, okay, so. Okay." He paused, picking his words carefully now, "I know that's a lot. If there's, anything you wanna know, about that shit, understandable! We can talk about it. When you're ready, my next question is, a little bit of a different direction sure but uh, did you ever talk to a therapist or someone about your shit?"

Jim had noticed Sebastian shivering before he had it felt it. Once Seb finished talking Jim wrapped his arms around him tightly, pressing his forehead against his boyfriends. He felt like, he could answer, but he didn't want to do it when Sebastian was like, /this/. They laid there for a few minutes, in silence, before Jim broke it. "In juvie for the two years. I got lucky, I guess, that shit was provided. It was court ordered, I did it." Jim pressed a soft kiss to Sebastian's forehead. "I'm sort of a psychopath honey, I've killed a lot of people, there's more than trauma to unpack in therapy." He paused. "You- you... both deserved better."

Sebastian smiled, he tilted his head up to kiss Jim's forehead, "Yeah, you too," he smiled again, "and I have also, killed my fair share of people, believe it or not, I get that. ...and, good. About the therapy I mean, obviously." He took another sip of tea, noting that his hands weren't shaking, that was solid. "Your shot if you got something."

Jim was really focused on how warm Sebastian was, how good he felt in his arms. He wanted to know more, he was sure it was good that Sebastian was talking about this shit, but he still felt bad? Like he was poking at an open wound? Stupid. "Was new years eve the only time he hurt you, physically?"

"Like, okay," Sebastian organized his thoughts a little, that was probably good for him in general. It was actually, kind of, really helpful, to have people ask shit you'd never specifically thought about before. Crazy. "Ostensibly yeah, he would always do shit like, trip me when I was running or playing sometimes, or smack me on the back of the head of I said something snarky, but nothing that really, hurt. Or, okay, nothing on purpose. He once didn't notice I was there and knocked me off the roof of the shed and I broke a finger, he accidentally spilled boiling water on me making pasta, and one time he actually almost killed me because he didn't know I was allergic to penicillin ...but I don't really count that shit no. New years was sort of a stand alone incident." He took Jim's hand and kissed it again, he was slowly catching on that it'd be a good idea to show his boyfriend that he wasn't freaking out, not that Jim couldn't tell but still, reassurance, he was feeling strangely fine, and something was sort of pressing in his brain. "So, what was, your mom like? You can skip that if you want to, and I know it's a vague question, you just never talk about her and I ...wondered yeah."

Jim's eyes darted to a burn scar on Sebastian's left forearm. Jesus. He sighed and held Seb closer. The hand kiss felt good but Jim felt like he had to be as close to Sebastian as possible, some deep protective instinct he didn't know he had was making itself Known and he couldn't help wanting to keep Sebastian, safe. With him. "She, was, sad." Jim hesitated. "I think, before she met him, it was good, but that was so fucking long ago, she must've been younger than us when she had me." He paused again. "A lot younger. When I got out, she was gone."

"What? You were, what, 16 when you got out, they didn't, find and return you to your mom?" Sebastian was, shocked? Confused? Oh hm, cheating, right, "Ah," he offered a slightly apologetic smile, "sorry, not my, turn." It sounded stupid enough that he did let out a little laugh, but he composed himself, sighed, and kissed Jim's forehead again, "what I mean," he mumbled, "obviously, is that, I'm sorry. That's, fucked up."

"No, it's okay, you can ask questions I should've been more specific. I, went into the system, then hopped a bus to Dublin. I wasn't broken up about it." He pressed his face into Sebastian's neck. "She od'd."

"Oh fuck." Sebastian blinked, and was suddenly, incredibly aware of and grateful for the feeling of Jim's skin against him, he wrapped an arm around to hold him close. "That's awful." He noticed he was unconsciously rubbing small circles on Jim's back but didn't stop, he hardly seemed to mind. He tried to imagine what he ever would have done without his mom. He couldn't. He decided that didn't super have to come out of his mouth right then though. He just kept holding on.

Jim would've hated it if it had been anyone else, but then again, there was no way in hell he'd ever be this vulnerable with someone who wasn't Sebastian. He breathed in his scent and felt, grounded, safe in Sebastian's arms. "I love you," he whispered, and they laid there. After Sebastian's grip had loosened a little, Jim raised a hand up to Sebastian's face to rub his thumb over the scar on his chin and then over the one across the bridge of his nose. "Did he do this to you?"

Sebastian smiled, and then he started laughing and it took him a moment to compose himself, and just smile again, "Uh, yes and no. Chin is a souvenir from new years, yes. The nose was actually my mom." He grinned. "It was just a couple months after dad split. We were having a bit of a, yelling match, it was a stressful time, arguments were a very common occurrence, I legitimately couldn't tell you how this one started, but anyway, she was getting a big bowl from the top shelf of a cupboard in the kitchen, and I was frying veg on the stove beside her, we were fighting but we weren't going to stop cooking that'd just be stupid, I dunno, we're both actually very practical people in some, strange neurotic way... I digress, at one point I said she was crazy, and she, like, whipped around at me to, likely tell me I was grounded or some shit but I never actually found out what it would've been because the bowl fell, and it hit the range-hood fan above the stovetop, and it fucking shattered, and glass flew everywhere, and I had looked up instinctively at the sound of the crash right above my head, obviously, and something cut right into my fucking nose, and then my mom was screaming, and I felt blood start pouring out of the fun new hole in my face, and then my brain realized, in the same instant, both how much it /stung/ and also that I could actually see the pieces sticking out of my own face, and then I was screaming /right/ back, and she started yelling in this absolutely frantic voice that everything was fine and not to panic and that she was there and that I was okay, and I started crying and told her I didn't really think she was crazy, and she was just like 'Sebastian, it is FINE get in the car and pray the nurses don't think so either!' and it can't possibly be true but I swear to god we just screamed the entire way to the hospital. She definitely ran several red lights. Anyway, I got some stitches and she took me home and that was that. It was actually kind of, really good for us. It was kinda like, the first thing to Happen To Us, since dad fucked off, it sort of freed us in a weird way? like we could have our own misadventures, totally outside of what happened with him, we still had our lives and they did go on, as evidenced by, a super bloody kitchen accident and a kinda cute nose scar. It sort of ruled. I also, still had a cast on my left arm and I was getting used to the scars he left, it was kind of, a relief, that suddenly the largest, most obvious one, that people would almost definitely see first, was just from my mom, being herself. Like, I was weirdly proud of it. I dunno..." Sebastian trailed off, lost in thought. It took him a second to come back down to earth and he smiled to himself. "Yeah, no. Nose scar, has next to nothing to do with him."

Jim kissed the bridge of Sebastian's nose. "Really cute nose scar." He sighed a lil and smiled at him tiredly. "Good. That's, really good. Thank you for letting me meet her. I know, lying to her is hard, and you're worried about her, so.. thank you." Jim pressed his forehead against Sebastian's again. "I'm so happy that she was there."

"Yeah, me too." Sebastian smiled, a little bitter-sweet maybe, and kissed Jim lightly on the cheek, "and it's, good, thank you for meeting her, you like, made that happen and I know it wasn't, absolutely effortless for you either." He smiled, and paused for a moment, almost testing the silence. "So... how did you come to the decision to kill your stepdad?"

Jim tensed for a second. That was a little bit unexpected, even though they /were/ talking about their fucking daddy issues. Jim took a deep breath, relaxing himself, before trying to remember. "Well, I dreamed about it first, he'd hit me pretty hard one night and I dreamed of hitting him with a baseball bat until he, y'know." Jim smirked a little. "Stopped screaming. After that I started fantasizing about it while I was awake. I came home after hanging out with some friends that summer and he was just, leaning against the doorway to the basement. And he said 'hi Jim, how was your day?' And I looked at him and I hated him and I just, pushed. I didn't even have to try really."

"Huh," Sebastian stared for just a moment, "Good." He thought it over for a moment. "Was it satisfying?" He remember again and snorted at himself, "Jesus Christ, I cannot wait my fucking turn."

Jim laughed and kissed his boyfriend's forehead. "I have never heard a sweeter sound than the deafening crack when his head hit the concrete."

Sebastian hummed, "mmmmakes sense, checks out, yeah... fuck." He could almost hear it, yeah, that was an apt description. He hummed and ran his finger's through Jim's hair absentmindedly, "you're... fucking perfect."

Jim laughed again. Fuck, Sebastian was, amazing. "What can I say, baby's first murder. Oh, shit!" Jim had forgotten his coffee on the bedside table. He picked it up, not quite cold yet, and settled down next to Sebastian once more. "Okay, can you tell me more, about the hospital? How long? Beth was with you? Play with my hair again." Jim took a sip. Fuck, delicious.

"Ahh, a little less than a week," Sebastian obeyed the hair-playing instruction on sheer instinct, "I needed a little surgery to get the bone of my middle finger back into place weirdly enough, and they wanted to watch me because I was mildly concussed and seemed depressed. Mom was there the whole time yeah, slept in my room, asked the doctors fuck tons of question to figure out everything they were doing and shit, I think she only cried once the whole time which was crazy, she cries more than that, just on your average week, but there was like, this absolute hatred radiating off of her the whole time. At him, obviously, and it was kind of just insane to watch. She was super polite with all the staff and everything, and very good with me too obviously, but it was just like, there, all the time, like just the purest hate. Like, I am no stranger to hatred, and yeah I hated my dad too, still do, but I don't think I have /ever/ felt hate the way my mom did in that fucking hospital room."

Jim was quiet for a moment, cause, fuck. He found Sebastian's hand and rubbed his thumb across Seb's knuckles, losing himself in the motion as he processed what Sebastian had said. "Fuck," he managed, eventually. "She, really, really fucking loves you." Jim turned towards Sebastian, looking at his face, arm in a cast, scar on his chin, on his forearm, two broken fingers. "Only, eleven."

Sebastian smiled faintly, "yeeaaaahhhh, it was, nightmare's kind of an understatement, she's a little superhuman for all the shit she's been through." He pressed a kiss against Jim's forehead and hummed, a little lost in thought.

"She's taller than me honey, little, is, belittling." Jim finished off his coffee and laid his head on Seb's chest. "Anymore questions?"

There was something, pulling in his brain a little. "How'd, people find out? Like I mean, did you, try to hide the body or anything I- hmm." Sebastian, possibly wasn't phrasing this incredibly, he closed his mouth to compose his thought. It didn't really work. He scowled.

"Well, I'd like to believe that there's never been a time where I haven't been competent but I was, fourteen." Weird, Jim hadn't really told anyone this, therapist hadn't even asked /how/ he did it, lawyers hadn't either. "I just, looked at him for a while, watching the blood start to pool underneath him, and then I went into my room and put on my headphones and listened to the killers." Jim smiled a little. "I thought that was really funny, the killers? Hilarious. Anyways, I heard my mom scream at like, eleven, and no one came to talk to /me/ till three days after. My mom was, there, but, not around until the trial."

Sebastian stared at him. "Sorry,,, I don't know why it's so, absolutely shocking that you were that much, yourself at 14. ... Wow. Wait three days? you were just, what, chilling?"

"Well, yeah, I think my mom called an ambulance? And obviously there were cops but like, mum was freaking out trying to protect me and law enforcement has never been competent, so yeah. Took them three days to figure out she had a son." Jim shrugged. "I was eating a bowl of cereal in the kitchen and they knocked on the door, they asked if I would come in for questioning, I said after I finished my lunch." He grinned. "They didn't think that was very funny, asked if I cared if the killer was caught, I said sure, I had better things to do than be incarcerated." Jim looked up at his boyfriend, still smiling. "You skipped my turn again, asshole."

Sebastian blinked, and then started laughing, "you're right." He smiled and kissed Jim's forehead, "Sorry, you're just /too/ fascinating, and, just insane fuck." He grinned, leaning back a little, a hand still playing absentmindedly with Jim's hair. "Ask away, hon."

Jim laughed a little too. "Did /you/ ever go to therapy over your dad?" God, why did this feel so, good? This was, like, cathartic in a way Jim had never experienced. "You still good babe?"

Sebastian smiled and pressed a kissed into Jim's hair, "yeah, I am. And ooohhhh yeah, mom fought tooth and nail to get it covered, found this dude Dale who was kind of an angel, I was such a fucking dick about it at first, but after all the shit that went down Beth Moran's child was gonna skip therapy over her dead body so I kept going, and it was good, he's actually the one who suggested I take up some martial arts," he smiled, "which has proved, most useful in my current position, so I guess you owe him a thank you too."

Jim grinned and rolled on top of Sebastian. "Thanks Dale, for providing me with a ruthless and competent employee." Jim kissed Sebastian on the forehead softly before sitting up on his chest and looking him in the eyes. "Or did you mean useful in bed? Sorry babe, you weren't exactly clear."

Sebastian smiled, leaning forward slightly to kiss his boyfriend. "mmmup for interpretation," he hummed. It was his turn, he wanted to know about Juvie but there was actually something else he was almost just as interested in, "Okay, you said, you came back from hanging out with friends, killed your stepdad, and then fucked around for a few days before getting taken in. So, there were, friends then? ...Like okay, the real question is, outside of your fucked up stepdad I still don't really know anything about your childhood, what was it like?"

"Well, I was kind of an asshole. I coasted in school, did soccer for a bit but got kicked off when me and some other players beat up a kid on the other team." Jim smirked. "So we all hung out, we would ride our bikes around and sometimes this kid Evan would get his older brother to buy us beer and we'd sit in the woods and throw rocks at each other. A couple times after I'd, uh, 'fallen down a flight of stairs' I'd go to the suburbs and throw shit at bus shelters." Jim ran his thumb along Sebastian's cheekbone. "I probably shattered about thirty - I wasn't a good kid, but I was really fucking smart. Probably could've skipped a grade or two if I'd cared enough to try."

Sebastian smiled, somehow it all made sense, just sorta fit into place. He pictured a dark-eyed tweenage hellspawn getting drunk and defacing public property in some shitty town somewhere, Ireland he assumed. It was, sort of adorable, kind of perfect. "Mmmmi believe it... wonder if we'd have been friends." He mused absentmindedly.

"Mmm, maybe, I doubt Beth would've approved of me, I was a murderer, that /definitely/ makes me a bad influence." Jim thought and, he didn't really know all that much about Sebastian's childhood friends either. "What were you like? When you weren't defending professional martial artists with your fists?"

"Eh, she's not typically too judgmental," he said faintly with a smile, remembering some of his own, antics. "I wassss... hm." he considered the question, "Volatile? I dunno, either totally spacey and lost in thought or wayyy hyper and uh, destructive. I always got into a lot of fights, rarely held any grudges tho, I'd usually pick fights that I knew I'd probably loose, and then the times I won I was absolutely ecstatic, I'd usually get grounded or something if it was obvious I started it but I think mom always sorta knew there's only so much you can do to combat the instincts of a natural born adrenaline junkie," he grinned, "other than that I dunno, did fine in school, loved Greek mythology and spy movies, dated a bit in high school, did boxing and jujitsu, got maybe a little too into party drugs and dropped out of college, I dunno, I was actually working as a butcher when I fell in with the Mafia, folks who owned the place, my boss, Gia, she knew I could fight pretty good and had a fuck ton of dirt on me, and she knew I needed the job, so she felt like it wasn't too big a risk asking me to help her out, security for meeting mostly, warehouses, that type of shit, made some connections, got some uh, freelance work, and the rest is sorta history."

Jim laughed. "Volatile?! You!? I cant imagine." Jim leaned forward to kiss Sebastian . God, he was beautiful. "I'm sure you were an absolute menace darling."

"Hm?" Sebastian asked, slightly in a daze, one hand in Jim hair, the other on his back, he smiled slowly, just enjoying the view, "mmmtakes one to know one." He smiled and kissed Jim again, just a little one this time, "what was it like in Juvie?"

Jim hesitated for a second. He knew that was coming, but, the question still felt, jarring. "Well, fucking crowded, food was shitty. I still had school, it was hard to masturbate with a cell mate." Jim smiled. "One kid who was in for b&e got his sister to smuggle edibles in fuzzy peaches bags, idk, it was, shitty, better than getting beat up every other night though." He hadn't really been looking at Sebastian, he'd been looking at the wall, at his face, at his hand on Sebastian's cheek, but not at his eyes. He looked up - fuck - and it felt, easier. "Gave me lots of time to plan an empire."

Jim's eyes met his and Sebastian offered a comforting little smile, "and what an empire it is, never would've guessed you could trace the inspiration back to a kid getting high in Juvie." He leaned up to kiss Jim's forehead lightly, "... I'm sorry it sucked though, obviously, it's bullshit they ever sent you, that's fucked up."

"Honey, I killed a man, second degree murder, first if you count all my fucking fantasies." He rolled off Sebastian and leaned on his hand. He stared at Seb for a while, just looking, drinking him in. His boyfriend, half naked, in his bed. God, fucking perfect. "He did deserve it though, do you wanna take a shower? Or we could keep playing."

Sebastian checked the time on his phone and narrowed his eyes a little in thought, "...both?" he smiled eventually, "is there a reason we don't do both?"

Jim smiled and kissed Sebastian on the nose. "Absolutely fucking not, lead the way Mr. Bond."

Sebastian grinned and did lead the way, removing the little clothing he had in the bathroom, "So... who's turn is it? Is it my turn? I wanna ask about you about Juvie therapy, but I'm not sure, if it's my turn."

"Its not your turn sweetie, save it for a sec." Jim took off his boxer briefs and turned the water on. "I mean, what exactly do you want to know about it?"

"Hmmm, I dunno just, what did you talk about? What did your therapist ask about? Tell you?" he smirked, "any epiphanies?" Something occurred to him, "Did you ever lie? To your therapist??" He remembered it wasn't his turn and added, "uh, hypothetically..." he smiled sheepishly, "one might ask."

Jim laughed and stood on his tiptoes go kiss Sebastian on the forehead before grabbing his hands in his own. "What did you major in in college?"

Sebastian smiled, "major is a strong word," he prefaced, "but uh, double major, biology and classics. I did alright my first semester but then I made friends, well, maybe not friends but uh, yeah."

Jim smiled, maybe a little sadly, and pulled Sebastian closer. "I did lie to him, after eight months or so. I never told him that I felt remorse though. ...I dunno, we talked about my step dad and my mom, I think talking about the.. abuse helped. I definitely worked through the trauma, I might've had really shitty self esteem if it weren't for that. But once I started, you know, deciding to dedicate my life to crime I had to fudge the truth a little." He leaned forward and whispered in Sebastian's ear. "I do have issues with aggression and apathy, sorry if that's a deal breaker."

Sebastian grinned and wrapped his arms around Jim, /issues with aggression/, "you don't say," he kissed his cheek and reached for shampoo, "your apathy is one of your most endearing traits," he added, smiling. "Mmmand that makes sense, about the therapy."

Jim relaxed into Sebastian's embrace and sighed, smiling. "You know I love you right? Tell me about the party drugs."

"Two question in one!" Sebastian gasped, grinning, "I have /never/ DEFOULED the rules of this sacred game with such flagrant disrespect!" He leaned his forehead against Jim's grinning, and kissed his nose. "I know," he moved to rinse his hair, "the drugs themselves weren't really the problem actually, it was just like ... I dunno, school was fine, it was good, a lot of the time I liked it, and a fair amount of the time I was just bored, and then parties were fun too, drinking too much was fun, MDMA was fun, once you got super fucked up the people were even fun to be around, but I couldn't really keep up with both at once, so I, talked with my mom, and decided to stop doing either, got a minimum wage job and started going to jujitsu again, that was sorta, that."

Jim grabbed the soap and started to run it over Sebastian's body. "This is just out of curiosity, I love having you work for me and I would never dream of you leaving but, you ever think about going back?" Jim smiled. "Sorry, not my turn."

Sebastian looked at Jim in slight surprise. "Uh,,,, huh," he paused, "no that hadn't really... occurred to me... I've done more molly since college though! I dunno why it never occurred to me I could still learn about the anatomy of a cell too," He smiled. "So, why did you decide you needed to build a criminal empire? No complaints here! Obviously, but uh, what's the thought process on that?"

"Well I was fifteen, I was angry, I was bored, I was /really/ sexually frustrated and I had a lot of time on my hands. Turn around." Jim started to wash Sebastian's back, slowly, pausing to kiss him on the neck softly. "I figured there was no way in hell I'd get a normal job, and I knew I was smart, so I talked to some of the less remorseful kids and to the ones with crime in the family, I got close to the right people and when I got out I moved to Dublin and started working for a very important man. I killed him, took his position, pegged it on his rival who I was partners with under an alias and I started a gang war while playing both sides. Rode my way to the top from there easily." Jim grabbed Sebastian's ass after he finished cleaning it, nibbling on his ear a little and handing him the soap. "Do me now. Oh! What got you into spies?"

Sebastian took the soap and smiled. "You are, so completely yourself," he murmured starting on Jim's chest, pausing only to kiss him lightly and hum, "mmmI love you so fucking much." He considered the question, "hmm, I have, no idea? I dunno how this works in the mechanics of our little game but I, do not know. I think I just, always did. Always loved mysteries and suspense, read all of encyclopedia brown, as a kid, mom loved the pink panther so maybe that helped, I'm sure I'd seen all those before I had like, object permeance so Inspector Clouseau probably has permanent residence in my deep subconscious. I saw my first James Bond movie when I was, I think six, and that was like, it, I was obsessed. Turn around."

Jim smiled and did as he was told. "We've never watched any together, do you want to? I don't even know your favourite. I'm sure I'm more like the villain of a bond movie than James' hot little fuck, sorry about that."

"MmmI can work with that," Sebastian hummed, "yeah, let's have a movie night, tonight, after I shoot some motherfucker for the boss," he kissed Jim neck and finished washing his back. "When did you get into Shakespeare?"

Jim laughed a little. "They had some of his works in the library in juvie. Hm, Othello and Julius Caesar were my first ones I think? They also had this one Percy Shelley collection. I had, a hard time with Shakespeare, and I didn't have a hard time with anything, so I powered through them. And I read like, all the Shakespeare they had three times over by the time I was out and I still only half got it." Jim turned around and pressed himself up against his boyfriend's body. "If you say anything about how nothing's changed I will make sure your job goes wrong tonight, I have a very in depth understanding of Shakespeare's works."

Sebastian grinned and kissed him, "no of course, you just get it, all of it, every word... that's kind of sick though, I think Bill would approve, he'd be into it," He was already rinsing conditioner out of his hair, shower almost over, he opened his mouth, wait! not his turn! he closed it an smiled, perhaps a little self satisfied. He waited.

"Bill?" Jim didn't remember anyone named Bill. He reached behind Sebastian and turned the water off before grabbing them each a towel. "A rival lover?"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes trying to figure out if Jim was fucking with him, "I- ... Bill as in... William... as in William Shakespeare? So yeah, side hoe, yes, constant sexual fantasy, Billiam."

Jim stared at Sebastian for a second. Then he got out of the shower without saying a word, drying himself off. "When did you lose your virginity?" Jim said, sourly, from the bath mat.

Sebastian's face could not contain his grin. "I was 15. Sorry, you're not even a little bit shocked at my revelation of this previously unknown adulterer, Bill?"

"Shut upppppp." Jim groaned. "Come out here, I miss you. And give me more detail than that, /god/, who were they? What was it like?"

Sebastian grinned and obeyed, grabbing his towel and drying himself off, "Adelaide South, she was really cute and we'd been dating a couple months and her parents were out of town one weekend and she was like, come sleep over, and I was like, fuck yeah, and then we we making out on the couch downstairs and she was like 'do you have a condom?' and I was like 'DO I HAVE WHAT?!' and she was like, 'what??? oh my god we don't have to I just, my parents are out of town and I invited you to spend the weekend?' and I was like 'YEAH I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA WATCH REALITY TV AND DRINK IM OKAY WITH THIS THOUGH IS THERE A PHARMACY NEARBY' and there was. The sex? Not amazing, but! Not bad, I was /not/ her first time, we broke up shortly after, she wanted to social climb a little more than I was allowing for, she wasn't a dick about it though she was cool, I didn't take it personal, my first time with a guy was later, in eleventh grade, the guy was a friend from boxing, Kaden Yang, we were hanging out one night after practice, in a burger king actually, and he just looked at me, pretty much out of nowhere, and was like, "hey, are you, at all, gay?" and I was like "hmmmmiiiii don't think so? maybe a little actually I dunno ....huh, maybe a little." and he was like, "...wanna makeout?" and I was like "in the burger king???" anyway, we got thrown out of the burger king, and I was so fucking high on the adrenaline of it all, and literally the next time we hung out he was like "hey listen, I had fun last time, and I think you had fun too? and I was thinking-" and I was like "WANNA FUCK?" and he /did/ and so we did, a couple times, we never actually dated, /that/ wasn't bad sex by high school standards, we both had some experience so it stands to reason but uh," Sebastian smiled, "yeah."

Jim smiled and kissed Sebastian long and slow on the lips, letting his towel fall to the floor. "You're absolutely fucking perfect, I cant believe you got thrown out of a Burger King, honey."

Sebastian grinned and held Jim's waist in place to kiss him back, "I wasn't even that indecent! so I started taking a boy's shirt off, was this reason to intrude upon my dining experience?" he kissed Jim again, "so, how about you?"

Jim laughed. "Oh my god, so you were /stripping/ in a Burger King? I cannot believe you." He put his hand around Sebastian's neck. "Well, I was incarcerated till I was sixteen, but that didn't stop me from, you know." He grinned. "One of the bonuses of being gay in an all boys detention center is that you spend a lot less time in the closet. I used to mess around with uh, shit, Simon Gardener? I think, you know, blow jobs when we were alone in the showers, making out behind the wall in yard time, that kinda stuff. It made the last six months a lot easier. When I was seventeen though, I was doing security detail for the gang and we went past a gay bar and I got uh, a little distracted. Someone bought me a couple drinks and I woke up in a stranger's bed feeling pretty sore and a little hungover but, really fucking confident." Jim laughed again and kissed Sebastian's neck. "Lucky I didn't lose my job over that."

Sebastian blinked at him, "you don't REMEMBER your first time???? I- /sorry Simon Gardner uh, secondish time, sort of first time, whatever/ -WHAT?"

Jim sighed a little. "Well, /you/ didn't go into the dirty details of what happened with Kaden!! And I /was/ a little drunk." Jim took a hand back from Sebastian's neck to run it through his own wet hair. "He asked if I wanted to get out of there, I said sure, we made out in the taxi and I almost left my shirt in there, we went into his apartment, which was dark, and then we made out some more, he sucked me off a little and then he fucked me!! Nothing special really, just an anonymous hook up at seventeen. I felt so high the next day that I, executed my evil plans a little earlier than initially decided."

Oh thank god. "Oh that sounds like you," he paused and offered a small smile, "sorry, ambiguous turn of phrase!" He kissed Jim's nose and smiled again, "and I can't claim to uh, always remember, the rule of the game, either."

Jim smiled at his boyfriend and pressed his head into Sebastian's neck. "Don't worry darling, it was all completely consensual. You of all people should know I'm not delicate when it comes to sex. Should we get dressed?"

Sebastian glanced at a clock by the bathroom window and scowled. "Well, at least I should, yeah." They'd been talking for what felt like forever and had been approximately an hour and a half, he still needed to go home and get, at least a rifle, commute to his destination. He kissed Jim's forehead and wandered into the bedroom to collect the rest of his clothes, "more coffee or tea?"

"Coffee's good yeah, you can borrow a shirt if you'd like." Jim hung up his towel and picked his and Sebastian's underwear up off the bathroom floor, throwing his in the hamper and taking Sebastian's to the bedroom, handing them diligently to his boyfriend. "You might as well start leaving your clothes here, babe."

Sebastian hummed, "I... guess I should." He smiled a little, "You have met my mom and heard about my daddy issues, I guess I could probably leave some clothes at your apartment." There was something, kind of really nice about the idea. He got dressed, and did steal a shirt from Jim, before heading back to the kitchen.

Jim put on some fresh underwear and a pair of jeans, opting to remain shirtless for the time being. He wandered into the kitchen after his boyfriend, already smelling a second pot of coffee brewing. "Do you want anything for tonight? I figured I might go get some groceries."

"Oh, hmm, popcorn? alcohol? we could play a drinking game they are, sorta cliché hotbed movies, mmmand I think you're running low on bread? I dunno, oh! we could order Chinese food tonight, make it real authentic, the seventh grade experience," he grinned and noted that coffee was ready and waiting for prep. He got some mugs, "You know, 8 months ago if you told me you just, figured you might go for groceries, I'd probably assume I was just being fucked with or somehow being baited into a horrible prank."

Jim scowled and punched Sebastian in the arm. "God, don't get all high and mighty just because /you/ made me a better person. I'm volatile, a menace, I could sink back to your level at a moments notice." Jim got the milk from the fridge and handed it to Sebastian. "What would you like babe? Tequila? Gin? I have a 1957 Cabernet I've been saving for a special occasion."

Sebastian scoffed, taking the milk, "mmmmoh fuck! Vodka! We should make martinis! Shaken not stirred!"

Jim looked, mildly confused at Sebastian's sudden excitement but dismissed it. Probably a bond thing. "Mmokay got it." He pulled himself up onto the counter and watched Sebastian do his coffee, taking it from him when he was finished. He took a sip. "Uuuuuugh its fucking perfect, I love you, how long do you think the hit'll take? You should probably leave in an hour if you wanna get your gun. /And/ your key."

"Oh the hit itself should be real quick, I wouldn't worry about that," he paused and sipped his own coffee. He continued, slowly but he hoped nonchalantly? Maybe not entirely, "When I come back, should I, bring some clothes?"

"You're planning on staying over /again/?" Jim feigned astonishment. "You're not planning on taking advantage of me are you Mr. Bond?" Jim laughed and drank some more coffee. "Sure babe, go ahead, I'll clear some room in the closet. You should dress nice for this evening it's been, how long since you've worn a suit? I never make you follow dress code anymore."

Sebastian rolled his eyes, "You don't have a dress code, babe, you have a fetish, no one cares what their hitman wears as long as they don't stand out," He did smile fondly in spite of himself, "... but we'll see." He leaned back a against the counter and took another sip of coffee, he narrowed his eyes very slightly in thought, "So, you know he wears a suit, that there are femme fatales and flashy villains, I'm curious, this will actually be a really good before and after, run me through, every single thing you know about James Bond."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Its not a /fetish/ it's a /preference/. God, you just live to make fun of me, huh?" He took a sip of coffee. "Mmm, I'm guessing he's like you, reckless, barbaric, volatile, a real menace. But probably, more stoic, less fun." Jim took another sip before adding. "And aggressively heterosexual. I know there's lots of killing, but is there any torture? That would be fun. Oh, pleeeeeeeease tell me there's torture, babe, that would really make my night." He thought for a second, remembering Sebastian's earlier comment. "What kind of drinking game are we going to play?"

"Hmm, take a shot every time Jim calls something unrealistic?" Sebastian suggested with a grin, finishing off his coffee and putting his mug in the sink. "Or oh! hey, if you're so sure this shit's 'aggressively heterosexual' we could just take a shot every time someone says or does something absolutely fucking gay, that should be safe right?" Sebastian's eyes gleamed, he thought about Skyfall, he was bi, imposing bisexuality onto Danial Craig's Bond was self indulgent, but also... it was right fucking /there/ c'mon.

Jim rolled his eyes. "We could do both, we'll discuss it later. Are you going to wash that before you go? Of course not, forget I asked." Jim finished his coffee and slid down from his perch on the counter, grabbing a sponge and starting to wash the mugs along with the dishes from earlier. "Make sure you eat some lunch before you do the hit, okay babe?"

Sebastian smiled and nodded, still thinking about James Bond. "The guy who plays Q is gay," he said absentminded. He blinked and then smiled, "That probably doesn't mean absolutely anything to you," he grinned and thought about how much he absolutely fucking loved Pierce Brosnan, almost as much as Harrison Ford, he smiled to himself, all the evidence was there, really had taken his sweet time figuring that out. Thanks Kaden Yang. Something occurred to him, "Hey, hey are we still playing question game? It's my turn isn't it?" It wasn't. "How did you figure out you were gay?"

Jim paused for a second. He hadn't really been prepared for that one, but, full steam ahead. He placed a frying pan on the dish rack beside the sink. "I mean, after puberty had run its course I couldn't really, get it up for girls, that was certainly a clue. And then in juvie, I had a lot of, thoughts, about my cellmate, and about some of the other inmates, and a couple guards too." He smirked. "But uh, yeah, me and Simon were playing cards while everyone else had visiting hours, his dad worked two jobs and couldn't always make it, and uh, I was cheating and he saw the ace up my sleeve and he grabbed my hand to catch me and then, he didn't let go, and I held his hand back." Jim put another dish in the rack, he wasn't looking at Sebastian, hadn't been this whole time. "I didn't really put a label on it until after I read a heavily annotated copy of twelfth night though, and you are not allowed to make fun of me for that."

Sebastian stared. "Holy shit... so you guys were like, /together/ together." He processed slowly. "So someone wrote 'gay' in the detention center Shakespeare and you were like 'wow that's me' ...that's sort of iconic, that's like, just the kind of freak you are." He smiled. "Did you," he paused, choosing his words carefully, "ever have any contact with anyone from Juvie after you left? Or hear anything about 'em?"

Jim sighed and finished washing another dish. "I wouldn't call it /together/ together, we just, fucked around romantically too." Jim grinned and looked back at Sebastian for a second. "If you call getting high off of smuggled edibles and reading comics together on the floor of a juvie library romantic." He turned back to the dishes, a little more solemnly. "I haven't had any contact with Simon though, haven't heard anything either. My connections to Juvie only helped me in the business side of my life."

Sebastian furrowed his brow slightly, he was pretty sure that was the definition of romance but he was too fascinated to interrupt. He stared for a moment after Jim finished and then opted for a low whistle, "wow... stone cold, babe." He paused a moment before shrugging, "or maybe not I dunno, I didn't know him."

Jim stopped washing the mug. He felt himself tense a little and he really, /really/ hoped Sebastian hadn't noticed. He did feel guilty about that, but it was, ten years ago. Simon was probably incarcerated as an adult or he stayed away from crime and became, a normal person. There was no room in Jim's life for normal people. A little voice at the back of his head reminded him that Beth was a normal person, but he beat it back easily. Beth was different, she was his boyfriend's mom, special case. It wouldn't do him any good to dig up old skeletons. "I mean, I got out and I left for Dublin, for the first three years I was busy and after that it would've been, weird to call him up." Jim relaxed his body and picked up the sponge again.

Sebastian stared again. That was, weird. Something, itched, and he couldn't quite figure it out but he suddenly felt the need to /not get testy/, despite, having no idea what he had to be testy about? Congrats, Sebastian, you have won and Simon potentially-Gardener has lost, now rejoice. He rolled his eyes at his own brain, he wasn't particularly happy. He imagined a 14 years old boy reading comics in a shitty Juvie library with a young Jim Moriarty, poor fuck. /Don't get testy/. "Right, yeah, I get that." He couldn't think of anything else to say. Ugh. Fuck. He was being stupid. He sighed and moved to hug Jim from behind as he finished putting the dishes to dry, "I genuinely, don't mean to pry into old shit I'm sorry, if you're happy, I'm happy."

Jim dried his hands before turning around to hug Sebastian back. "Baby, are you jealous of my juvie boyfriend?" Jim kissed him on the nose. "This whole game is about prying into old shit darling, and /of course/ I'm happy, you idiot."

/Boyfriend/. Okay. Hm. ...Jealous? No not, really. He was /familiar/ with jealousy. Well, maybe there was a tinge of it in the mix actually. He pictured, himself at 14 reading comics in a shitty Juvie library with a young Jim Moriarty. There was something cute about it, he smiled faintly. Given the way things turned out though he felt less jealous more... hmmm. Well, no. He definitely wasn't supposed to be, at all on Simon's side about this whole affair. He was a) very much dating the other party, one James Moriarty, and b) pretty sure Jim had done a lot fucking worse... He himself had /helped/ Jim do worse to /many/ people. He remembered their first little torture date and smiled. But seriously, he had, murdered relatively innocent people, gangsters who might have had families maybe, a coworker found to be double dealing once or twice, and suddenly he felt all high and mighty about Jim ghosting a boy in jail??? That was bullshit. Fuck this kid. .../Jim already kinda did./ Jesus Christ. What was he so fucking worried about?? What are you afraid of Sebastian Moran? getting left without a phone call? this bitch can't buy his own fucking eggs without you, seems un-fucking-likely. Seb snapped back to reality, Jim was looking up at him, he was, fucking beautiful, the psychopath had that going for him. Sebastian, softened a little. What had he said, something about the game? "Mmmmfair point," He did smile and lean down to kiss Jim slowly, "and good. Me too."

Jim kissed Sebastian back, moving his arms up Seb's back and up to his neck. Jim curled his fingers in his boyfriend's hair and pressed himself up against Sebastian, making out with him against the kitchen counter. When he pulled away he lifted his hand to brush some hair from Sebastian's face. "Are you good? You seemed a little lost for a second." He hesitated for a second. "Do you want me, to track him down? Is that it?"

Sebastian's eyes flew open wide, "You want to KILL him?!?!?!" It took his a beat to figure out what Jim actually probably meant. "Oh! Ahh..." he, wasn't completely sure how to answer that. "No... No I was just, thinking." Cool.

Jim laughed. "Fuck, Seb, you're one of a kind. Are you sure you're okay though? We did talk about some heavy stuff, I don't want you getting distracted at work."

Sebastian smiled, mmmnice laugh, favourite sound probably, that's gay, his smile grew. "Yeah, yeah, no I'm okay, honestly, just got distracted, figured it out though, I'm good. ...you?"

Jim kissed his forehead. "I'm going grocery shopping, I'm sure I'll manage. But, yes, thank you for checking. Now let me put on a shirt!" He ducked under Sebastian's arm and walked towards the bedroom.

Sebastian smiled and watched his boyfriend head through the bedroom door. Hmm, really couldn't picture his life without that weirdo. He felt for his car keys in his pocket. /Miss you already/. He ignored the slight double meaning of his own mental joke. What the fuck was he on? He wasn't a particularly insecure person he didn't think, quite the opposite usually. Whatever, byproduct of things mattering probably. He paused. "Hey," he called from the kitchen, "I should probably go, see you after yeah? I assume you won't take ages getting popcorn and bread or whatever."

Jim didn't even bother going to the dresser. He saw Sebastian's shirt on the floor (not the hamper, never the hamper) and put it on. It was soft, autumn coloured and decidedly big on him, but most importantly it smelled like Sebastian. "What the fuck, you're not even gonna kiss me goodbye?" He shouted. The fucking nerve, he exited the bedroom, leaning against the door to the stairs expectantly.

Sebastian looked up and did melt, just a little. He breathed out a little, "...fuck." before smiling and moving to wrap his arms around his boyfriend and kiss him hard.

Jim fell into Sebastian's embrace and kissed him back, and, fuck. They were wearing each others shirts, that was pretty gay. Jim could /not/ wait for tonight, and he wasn't thinking about the bond marathon. When Sebastian finally pulled away, Jim felt a little dazed. He managed a soft "Goodbye, good luck!" Before collapsing back against the wall and watching his boyfriend leave the apartment. Hm. What to do now? He looked at his phone, it was just after two. Sebastian probably wouldn't be back until almost five, maybe closer to six. Jim ambled over to the sink and put the dishes away, then to the bathroom to brush his teeth and put a little product in his still-wet hair. He finished and looked at his phone again. 2:23. It was gonna be a long fucking afternoon.


	8. James Bond - March 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's eyes widened instantaneously "WHAT?! NO. FUCK. NO." He didn't even realize his hands were moving they were just, immediately holding Jim's face, "Nonononono no. No. Jesus Christ. Not even a little bit, holy fucking shit, no. Oh my god." He kissed Jim's forehead. "/No/." Jesus fucking Christ. He pulled Jim into a hug and kissed the side of his head, "absolutely fucking not," he mumbled, "jesus... fuck no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this is ridiculously gay it makes me sick, reading my own role-play gave me homophobia.* Also uh, I'm not dating razorscooter tehe.
> 
> ***Language, lotta sex, really like 50% porn, humiliation, exhibitionism, lipstick, drinking, dom/sub dynamics, grey area domestic violence, degradation, fluff, explicit consent, bondage, breath-play/choking, body worship***
> 
> *Ngh this is a joke pls m a lesbian

Sebastian headed out into the outside world and smiled, a little sadly maybe, at Jim's apartment before heading to his car. His brain was still trying to pester him. He turned the music on real loud. It didn't really work, now his brain was just trying to pester him to a soundtrack of Freddie Mercury. He sighed and turned the music back off. He needed to sort himself out. It was possible shooting a man in the head would take care of it but it seemed unlikely to act as a cure-all. He made it home in a bit of a daze. Trying to figure out what he needed, he did remember what he said about clothes and smiled a little, taking a box to his closet and picking some things to keep at his boyfriend's place. He remembered what he said about Bond night and rolled his eyes but he did also take down a suit. He'd bring it all to the car with him so he wouldn't have to come back before heading to Jim's. Rifle next. He just picked something standard and headed back out the door. 

Upon arrival he spent a fair slab of time just waiting for his target to get home, which was the plan, but it gave him some somewhat unwanted thinking time, he checked his watch, 3:35, on a Thursday, ...he wondered what a grown up Simon Gardener was doing right now-fffuuuuuucccckkkkk. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment. He needed to snap the fuck out of it. He opened his eyes, and shot the newly arrived target through an open kitchen window. So that's dealt with. Didnt feel super better about shit quite yet. He sighed, maybe he just needed to focus on, something else. He pulled out his phone.

Hit's done🔫! How's groceries coming along? SM

There were quite a few things Jim wasn't a fan of - the government, traditionalists, people who talked in the theater, tomatoes - but he absolutely despised being bored. He threw a couple darts at the living room wall before taking out his laptop and trying to get some work done, which proved to be! Impossible. Every five minutes his thoughts would wander back to his boyfriend and, weirdly enough, Simon Gardener. Why the fuck did he feel guilty???? Jim never felt guilty. "Ten fucking years, a whole fucking decade. Calm /down/ princess," He mumbled to himself, over and over, until he finally closed his laptop abruptly. Stupid. He grabbed his jacket, keys and wallet then walked down the stairs and out the front door. 

Jim /could/ drive, he just preferred to have other people do it for him. He also didn't have a car. Or a license. But his staff would know that he did his own grocery shopping over his dead body, so, he walked. It was nice, the cool, brisk air helped clear his head and he felt, better. He stopped at the liquor store on the way and got some Ketel One and when Sebastian's text came through he was deciding what olives looked the classiest. It was, 4pm, he smiled. Sebastian was /very/ efficient. He typed out a reply.

Still at the store, let yourself into the apartment. Be back soon xx JM

Sebastian read the text, re-read the text, closed his eyes, and swore. He proceeded to drive back to his own apartment, and retrieve his key for Jim's apartment from its position on his table, where he'd left it yesterday. He slid it onto the key ring with his other keys, why had he ever taken it off? He paused, standing, slightly frustrated with himself in the middle of his kitchen, was there anything else he was forgetting? He didn't think so, whatever, this way he could leave his gun at home at least. He did. He headed to Jim's and let himself in, had he had too much coffee today? Maybe. He started making himself a latte and waited for Jim.

Jim grabbed two bags of popcorn and a bag of rye bread and walked towards the check out, smiling. Water gun emojis shouldn't fucking make him smile, dumb, but holy shit was Sebastian cute. With Seb on his mind he doubled back to get the marsala chai tea he liked (Sebastian had already gone through the 40 bag box he found in the corner of Jim's cupboard) and passed the makeup aisle. He remembered their talk about Bond this morning and what Sebastian had said about femme fatales and his fingers twitched a little. Jim thought it over for a second before grabbing the first tube of lipstick he saw and heading for the tea and coffee aisle. He paid for the groceries and left but, on the bright side, he also couldn't get the idea of Sebastian: as Bond out of his head. Mmm, Jim wondered if after their movie they'd be able to have their own little torture session in the bedroom. He licked his lips as he unlocked the door, his face flushed a little - and his hands /freezing/ - from the cold. "Honey, I'm home!"

Sebastian smiled, "Put my shit in your closet," he informed, moving to kiss his boyfriend's cheek, "oh jesus," he laughed and wrapped his arms around his little heat sink, "you're so fucking cold, want a latte?"

"Oh my god, yes /please/." Jim moaned. He reached into his shopping bag and pulled out the chai. "Got you something, how was work?"

Sebastian took the tea and grinned. Hmmm, work? "Uuhhhh, easy? It was easy." He smiled, "definitely wouldn't make the cut in terms of spy-movie content. Also, okay, I meant to ask, do you want to start with, I've narrowed it down, Goldfinger, Golden Eye, Diamonds are Forever, or Skyfall? I'll also accept Casino Royal but only because it is, chronologically prior to Skyfall, but that doesn't matter don't think about it, just pick."

Jim stared at Sebastian, mouth slightly agape. "Uh," he went to the fridge and put the bread inside, then took the popcorn out and put it on the counter. "Which, is your favourite? What's the best one?"

Sebastian stared at him. "The /best/ James Bond movie? You're gonna Sophie's choice me on our cozy movie night at home?!" He grinned, "....uuuhhh, public opinion is probably Goldfinger, and yeah Sean Connery delivers buuuttttt... Skyfall's better." He paused, "you know, that wasn't so hard I dunno what Sophie was complaining about so bad," he grinned.

Jim laughed and hugged his boyfriend before taking the lipstick out of the grocery bag, putting it in his pocket and returning the bag to its rightful place under the sink. "Skyfall it is then, is Bond hot in that? Or is he always hot, Harrison ford was your sexual awakening right? Or was that Tony the Tiger?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. That woman would be the death of him. He ignored the bait. "Okay okay okay, you will, see what I mean soon but like, to preface, Danial Craig? objectively, fine. Looks good, totally okay. But the way he plays James Bond? /That's/ fucking hot."

Jim smiled a little and bit his lip. He walked back to Sebastian and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Babe, you're so cute when you talk about Bond." He looked at the clock on the stove. It wasn't even five yet. "Its too early to get dinner, what do you wanna do before then?"

Sebastian smiled and kissed Jim's forehead. "You're so cute, all the time," he sang lightly. His eyes did dart to the open bedroom door quickly, something still felt, slightly unresolved somehow though? That felt like a mistake? Not that he was, entirely opposed to making mistakes, especially not when Jim bit his lip like that. That wasn't actually what came out of his mouth though. One second he was considering suggesting sex the next he couldn't quite get this fucking image out of his head, two kids, kinda high, sitting behind a shelf, reading, one's head resting against the other's shoulder maybe, maybe they're holding hands, maybe Jim's smiling, just like that. "I dunno," he turned, he'd almost forgotten he was making more lattes but now he felt grateful for the distraction this provided for his hands and eyes, "hmm, well, I /didn't/ remember to have lunch before my hit, and I'd be absolutely shocked if you ate so, we could have something little, smoothie maybe? And you still have grapes, we could share a smoothie, eat grapes and, /hey/, we didn't finish reading merchant of Venice last week, we could pick up where we left off," oh cute, what was on /your/ mind Sebastian, what was this situation, remotely similar to, "... /we/ fuck around romantically sometimes too." Oh what the fuck. His tone was nonchalant, almost playful, like it was a dumb joke, and it was, but jesus, christ. He did, /not/, look at Jim.

Jim felt a little bit like someone kicked him in the stomach. Just a little bit. Was Sebastian bitter? No, he didn't get bitter, he was the opposite of bitter, /Jim/ was bitter, what the hell? Jim put a hand on Sebastian's arm. "I would love some grapes, and I'd also love to keep reading for Shylock but, it feels like, you're..." What the fuck should he say?? Bitter? Obsessed with my ex-juvie-maybe-boyfriend?? A little bit, sad? "...A little bit, not here?"

Sebastian swallowed. He felt very much not there, actually, but he could see himself warming milk to pour over espresso so he must /be/ there, physically at least. "Uh, sure, maybe a little," he poured the milk and held out a mug for Jim, "it's chill. Green smoothie, or fruity?"

"Do we have bananas? Strawberry banana." Do /we/ have bananas??? Weird. Not as weird as Sebastian was acting though. Jim decided, to drop it. Maybe the hit had just been stressful, and anyways, they'd already talked about their issues all fucking morning. Jim went to get the play from his nightstand and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He was still wearing Sebastian's shirt, tucked in a little at the front so it looked a little more like it fit him. He untucked it absent mindedly and went to sit at the island. Sebastian was still wearing his shirt too. Everything was okay! Everything was normal!

Sebastian let his body move around the kitchen kind of on its own, washing grapes, getting the blender, smoothies were easy, why didn't they have smoothies more? The silence was driving him insane but he refused to acknowledge that and he also couldn't think of a single fucking normal thing to say. "... Wanna put on some music or something?"

"Oh, sure!" Jim had been spacing a little bit, thinking about, Sebastian. About how fucking weird he was being. But, he wasnt gonna push it. He connected his phone to the little bluetooth in the kitchen and opened spotify. What would boost Sebastian's mood, uhhh, fuck, Kesha? Kesha. This was stupid. He shuffled his saved songs by Kesha and exhaled. ...And then inhaled sharply. /Of fucking course/, he thought as "Harold Song" started booming through the speaker.

Sebastian had no fucking idea what that was supposed to mean. /It wasn't supposed to mean anything, it was a song, he was playing a song, holy shit./ He poured the smoothie into glasses and got a bowl for the grapes. "Hm, hey, weird question, is this a head game? I ask, for literally no reason, but are you playing your fucking head games with me right now?" It was dry and exasperated but not outright upset or pissed or anything, he sounded tired, he was tired, it could still pass for a joke he decided. Why was that suddenly his bar for conversation? Ugh.

Okay. That was a little bit fucking mean. "One of my /headgames/? Jesus fucking christ." Jim turned it off and scowled. /Fuck/. He should say something. He shouldn't just fucking say that. He narrowed his eyes at Sebastian.

Fuck. Seb closed his eyes. "Sorry," he muttered. He put down the grapes he'd been rinsing and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a beat he sighed and looked up at Jim. He opened his mouth to say something along the lines of 'dumb joke' but it felt too fucking hollow to stomach, what was he fucking doing? He thought about just going over and hugging his boyfriend. The boyfriend in question looked, mad. He thought better of it. "...iiiii don't know why I said that, I'm sorry, I dunno what's fucking wrong with me today, I know you're not- ...I'm sorry. I'm just... yeah, sorry." He resisted the nearly insurmountable urge to look away. Weird avoidance wall /down/, no more fucking running, bitch, Jim's allowed to be a little pissed, stop being a fucking dick.

Jim's eyes softened a little. He got down from the stool and walked over to Sebastian, grabbing his hand and bringing it to his mouth. He kissed it, softly, and then guided Sebastian's hand to his side, putting his left hand on Sebastian's cheek. "What the fuck is up with you today?" He said, cautiously.

For some reason the softness in Jim's voice cut deeper than the frustration it had come to replace. The gentle hand on his cheek almost made him want to cry. "I..." He stopped. He what? He sighed, closing his eyes and letting his head roll forward to rest his forehead against Jim's. "I dunno." He paused, kissed Jim's forehead and moved his head back to look at him. He looked, yeah fucking perfect. Ow. He furrowed his brow. "Or... hey. Can I, put us in a very, hypothetical situation for a hot sec?"

Jim's mind was buffering. Really fucking slowly. He was, concerned, but had absolutely no fucking idea how to express that? The forehead kiss helped to restart his systems but it took him a second to answer and he was pretty sure that his tone was absolutely devoid of any emotion. "Mhm?"

Scary. That's fine. Just talk. "Okay, you, wake up tomorrow and you're just ...not in love with me anymore? Oh jesus christ, okay yes, I am /also/ hearing this as it leaves my mouth, humour me, for a second, or uh... okay I dunno, maybe it doesn't have to be suddenly waking up maybe it's gradual I dunno just uh, what do you ...do?"

Jim stared back at Sebastian. What, what? What????? No, no answer the fucking question freak!!!! Jesus, just, fucking, answer!!!!!!!! "I, sorry, I, I don't, I don't... know?" Wait, fuck. "Are you, breaking up with me?"'

Sebastian's eyes widened instantaneously "WHAT?! NO. FUCK. NO." He didn't even realize his hands were moving they were just, immediately holding Jim's face, "Nonononono no. No. Jesus Christ. Not even a little bit, holy fucking shit, no. Oh my god." He kissed Jim's forehead. "/No/." Jesus fucking Christ. He pulled Jim into a hug and kissed the side of his head, "absolutely fucking not," he mumbled, "jesus... fuck no."

Jim realized as Sebastian hugged him that he had been standing really, really limp. He still was. Weird okay, resolve that? He hugged Sebastian back, his brain slowly catching up to what Seb had been saying. "Sorry, baby, do you think I'm going to fall out of love with you?"

"No, I- ...well, not, exactly?" ugh. He released Jim and stood back up striaght to look at him. His brain didn't actually have anything to say for itself, typical. His mouth started talking anyway, slowly, "I, don't think, you're going to fall out of love with me. Uh, at least, not anytime soon, I hope?" He offered a quick, slightly apologetic smile, "um, but..." but what? He sighed.  "I dunno," his voice was smaller than he expected but, it was there, so he just kept going, "it, happens, you know what I mean? People fall out of love with people! and I get that, if that, happens, I'm not gonna hold it against you or anything, that's... well not /fine/ exactly, I'd be, fucked up about it for /quite/ a while I imagine, but, uh ...I dunno, it wouldn't be your fault or anything. And that's not even what's fucking..." he trailed off, saying it out loud was definitely helping him piece it all together, that didn't necessarily mean he liked the picture he was putting together. /Can't quit now though motherfucker/. Fair enough. He took a slow breath, "I guess I've just had this feeling, following me around all day that, you have the resources to just disappear. You could, probably better than any other person on this planet, just vanish out of my life if you wanted to. And I know that right now that's insane, because I know you /won't/, I know you don't want to. But, /forever/, Jim? That's, uh, kind of a long time, and if you ever /do/ want to..." He felt empty without the words inside him, not necessarily in an inherently good or bad way, but as though all this shit had been a foggy padding around his insides, and it had sucked and made him feel gross and he hadn't been able to see it properly when it was inside, but now that it was out, there was nothing protecting him where it had been. "... I dunno." He hadn't noticed his vision had unfocused, he collected himself and met Jim's eyes, hopefully not looking too ridiculously pathetic. "...Don't? please?"

Jim was kind of, speechless. He wasn't, surprised, persay, just, taken aback? He grabbed Sebastian and hugged him tightly, laying his head on his shoulder. He remembered how to breathe again, had he been holding his breath before? Jesus. And after a minute he pulled back, hands still on Seb's waist and looked Sebastian directly in the eyes. "I promise I won't. I would /never/ do that to you." He paused, he looked down. "Sebastian," He took a deep breath. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in my life."

Sebastian smiled, and melted a little, and just kept smiling. Jim was looking down, Seb put his thumb under his boyfriend's chin and tilted it up so he could look him in the face before placing a slow deliberate little kiss on his forehead, and then his nose, and then his mouth. "Right back at you," he said quietly. He kissed Jim's temple and realized he didn't really feel the same tension anymore, maybe it'd resurface, he couldn't say for sure, but he genuinely felt, better. "Thank you," he mumbled slightly against Jim's skin, "for promising. I trust you."

Jim's whole body, relaxed. Fuck. "Anytime," he smiled, he looked at Sebastian. He was, beautiful, damn. "Smoothie time?"

"Oh! fuck, yeah." He also took the forgotten grapes from the sink. He tried to remember what had been going on in the merchant of venice... marchanting maybe? "Mmmmwish that one gay wasn't so racist," this was the extent of what he remembered, that was probably fine though he just had to read. He felt lighter than he had pretty much all day as he took his smoothie with him to the couch. The clock on the oven read 5:15. He turned on a lamp, they were gonna lose daylight soon, and the warm light that flooded the room felt highly appropriate. He smiled, "Hey, I fucking love that you like Shakespeare. I genuinely love that about you. You're genuinely, the best, I love you so much."

Jim definitely didn't blush as he grabbed his smoothie and followed Sebastian to the couch, bringing the book with him. "Sebastian, everybody likes Shakespeare." He sat down next to his boyfriend, their thighs touching. "I do love you too though." He popped a grape into his mouth.

Sebastian smiled and shook his head, "/Nobody/ likes him with the idiosyncratic, slightly defensive flare that you do." He wrapped an arm around Jim's shoulders and leaned back on the couch, kissing the side of his head and humming lightly.

"Just because you haven't met anyone else who does doesn't mean they don't exist," Jim grumbled. He did smile a little though. He tried his smoothie. "This is fucking good, holy shit, uh, where the fuck were we?"

"Mmmbeginning of act 4?" Sebastian nuzzled up to his boyfriend and took a grape to pop into his mouth, he paused and took another, tossing it up lightly and catching it in his mouth. He grinned, "Hey babe, catch," he grabbed another grape, "Kobe!" he tossed it.

Jim looked up from the pages he'd been turning to be greeted with a grape hitting him right between the eyes. He stared at Sebastian, mouth closed tightly as it fell into his lap. "I despise you." He picked up a grape and threw it at his boyfriend. "Fuck you."

Sebastian started laughing, caught the grape in his hand and ate it smiling wide. "No, c'mon I'm sure you can do it!" He took another grape and held it ready, "Try again? you ready?"

"Sebastian, you're distracting me." Jim glared at him. "Ugh, fine, I'm ready."

Sebastian smiled. "One.. Two..." he tossed it up, but backwards, in a high arc and into, his own mouth. He immediately looked back at Jim with eyes absolutely gleaming and a giant grin plastered across his face. "Okay, okay, its chill, missed that one its fine, early bird gets the worm, just gotta get back on the hustle lets try again," he spoke very quickly and grabbed another grape, tossing it before his boyfriend could protest, this time in a clear high arc, towards Jim, beautifully catchable if he did say so himself.

Jim /tried/ but, it hit the top of his teeth and fell to the floor. He scowled. "Fuck this! This is bullshit! I don't need to catch grapes, I control the entire fucking continent! I have people to catch grapes for me!!! You," he pointed at Sebastian angrily. "Are distracting me from William. If you arent going to read Portia's parts I will read them myself."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows, opened his mouth to respond, but quickly snatched another grape to toss and caught it in his open mouth instead, chewing and grinning at once with a wink.

"God, close your fucking mouth. If you hadn't introduced me to your lovely mother I would've thought you'd been raised by wolves." Jim looked back at the book and continued reading. Attempted to continue reading. He'd reread the same soliloquy three times and was only half sure he'd gotten the passion of it. He would not admit that it was easier with Sebastian though, so he turned the page.

"Heeeyyyyy," Sebastian pulled one of Jim's hands away from the book lightly, hooking their index fingers. He plucked up another grapes and placed it in Jim's palm, then closed Jim's fingers around it lightly, "You're obviously too involved in my excellent game, and you were close! You try," He lifted the grape hand and kissed the knuckles, "for luck," he smiled, giving the hand back.

Jim rolled his eyes. "Fine." He threw it up and, caught it in his mouth. He caught it. He fucking caught it. For a second his eyes flashed with pride and excitement but, then he smiled slyly. Still looking at Sebastian (god he was so fucking cute) he spit out the grape. "Shit, I was really close that time, maybe you should kiss me again? For luck."

Sebastian's heart grew three sizes that day. "Oh bitch ass punk!" He started laughing and shifted quickly to kiss his boyfriend, "You are," he kissed him again, "If not cheating! /manipulating/ this sacred game." He kissed him again, fuck, just because he /wanted/ to.

Jim laughed and drank some more smoothie. "Are we gonna read Shakespeare? Not that I don't love the grape Olympics, and I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to hearing more about your crush on James Bond. And your case for his bisexuality."

Sebastian smiled and nuzzled back up, "But our game has come to such a satisfying close! We can read now, I have to be Portia, obviously, you don't do the voice right."

"YoU dOn'T dO tHe VoIcE rIgHt shut up. You loved when I did Portia in Julius Caesar, I don't know why you have problem with this one." Jim flipped the page back and shoved the book towards Sebastian. "Here, do you even have acting experience? Are you qualified to judge my skills?"

Sebastian grinned, "I was elf number 3 in my middle school's christmas pageant in seventh grade, they used real candles for some stupid reason, I was playing with one backstage and kiiiiind of caught a curtain on fire and then the fire alarm went off! And that is how I became the only eighth grader who did /not/ have to be in the christmas pageant. What was the question? Acting experience? pft, yeah, sufficient!"

Jim's face twisted in false horror as he ripped the book away from Sebastian and held it aloft. "I cannot believe I went to Shakespeare in the park with you, you could've burned the fucking pavillion down!! Oh my god, I'm dating an arsonist!"

"You have literally payed me to preform /much/ more damaging arson!" Sebastian grabbed at the book and missed, quick little fucker, "C'mon! Read Shakespeare with me! I'll prove I can be good! Here," he fished in his pocket for his lighter and placed it on the coffee table, "There. Now I haven't even the means!"

Jim grinned and handed Sebastian the book. "I know for a fact you have more than one, freak. But don't worry babe," he kissed Sebastian on the cheek. "I am aware of your prowess and expertise, your Mark Antony left nothing to be desired." He had, maybe, a little bit of a type.

Sebastian smiled and skimmed for the soliloquy they were at, something about mercy? Lame, probably well written though, he read it, it was, and his performance was, a little campy perhaps! He was allowed! The play was wild! but he thought he did quite well, and it was fun. They sat reading for what felt like only ten minutes but when he looked up at the end of the play it was noticeably darker out and the stovetop said 6:05. "Oh shit, it might take a while, should we order food now, babe?

"Hmm? Oh shit, yeah." Jim grabbed their glasses and brought them to the kitchen, placing them in the sink before going to the island where his laptop still resided from that afternoon. "Hmmmm you said Chinese right? What do you want darling?"

"Veggie Chow Mein! And egg rolls aaannnddd the spicy beef soup thing. I think, I forget most of what they have, what are you getting?" He asked, taking the grape bowl after the glasses to the sink, pausing to kiss the side of Jim's head on the way as he passed.

"Thank you," he said as Sebastian's lips brushed against his temple. "Hmm, spring rolls, veggie fried rice and beef and broccoli. You don't want any wontons? You ate like, fifteen when we watched Inception." Jim had liked that spy movie. Was it a spy movie? He was sure Sebastian had a very developed opinion on it.

"Oh! good call yeah, get mmmmmlike 15 wontons, do they come in packs of 15? Seems like a good number to me." He smiled to himself and started washing the dishes.

Jim smiled. He selected the twenty pack, he'd just eat five. His information was saved from the last time they'd ordered (jesus, it was like he did everything with Sebastian) so it only took a few clicks to send the order through. Jim closed his laptop and looked at Sebastian, elbows on the island, resting his chin in his hands. "So, Mr. Bond, should we get drunk?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes but couldn't do it without smiling. He remembered, "Okay, a) fuck yes. b) I did bring a suit, there is one of my suits in your closet, but I need you to understand," he took Jim's face in his hands, "that putting on a suit, to eat take out and watch movies on your couch, is insane, that would be, just so categorically not required."

Jim smiled really fucking wide before shrugging his shoulders. "Well, you don't /have/ to, I just thought, it would be fun. We don't /have/ to drink martinis either, it's just part of the aahm bee aahnce." Jim licked Sebastian's right hand.

/Freak/. Ugh, that fucking smile though. Sebastian narrowed his eyes in thought. Whatever. "Well yes, but the ambience is everything, of course we have to drink martinis, in fact I'm going to start making martinis, where do you keep the fun shakey thing again? I'll /think/ about going through all the hassle of getting changed /just/ to appease you." It wasn't just to appease Jim, and he'd already decided to do it, but he couldn't let on that easy, it'd spoil the fun of pretending to be the voice of reason. He pulled the Ketel One out of the liquor cabinet and smiled.

"The fun shakey thing is in the top left cupboard, ice is in the freezer and olives are in the fridge." Jim opened up his laptop and checked a few connections and clicked through some CCTV footage while watching his boyfriend putter around the kitchen out of the corner of his eye. He knew Seb would wear the suit, Jim always got what he wanted. "Are you okay if I put you on security detail for Monday?"

"Ice is in the freezer," Sebastian muttered rolling his eyes, "practically lived here for months but that's besides the point yeah I'm not the criminal mastermind but I think I could have uncovered your secret hiding spot, revealed your little ice treasure-" Jim had asked him something, he had been lost in his own little conversation, "Huh? Oh sure yeah."

Jim laughed quietly and typed rapidly. "You do sort of live here now, how much time do you /actually/ spend at your apartment now?" His phone dinged. "Food is on it's way, itll be here in twenty."

Sebastian considered it, "I frequent the old place," he smiled, "we're close friends, see each other often, sometimes more than one day in a row! But uh, hmm, well if I had a fish or something, it would be dead. Do I spend too much time here? Should I get a fish? Keep me responsible? Mmmno actually I'd forget to feed it anyway bad plan."

"Mmmm lets get a cat." Fuck, did he say that out loud? Sebastian didn't /actually/ live here, he just, acted like he did. And had his own key. And made Jim meals like, four or five days a week. Fuck, still, a cat??? "I want a hairless one, get me one for my birthday."

Sebastian blinked at him. /Let's/ get a cat. "You want a... of course you want a hairless cat, sorry, what was I thinking." He wasn't completely sure if or how much Jim was joking, or what he meant by /let's/, would Sebastian have joint custody of the cat? Were they couple-getting a cat? "What do you name a hairless cat? What names fit a cat who has no hair? 'meet our cat, skinrag'?"

Jim stopped typing. "I can't believe you would fucking- the /disrespect/." Jim closed his laptop again. "I was thinking maybe, Sebastian II? Or alternatively, Tony." Jim grinned, not looking at Sebastian. He didn't have to, he knew exactly what face he was making.

Sebastian half-sputtered for a moment, cut himself off, opened his mouth to respond, closed it again, and huffed. "Doesn't even make sense," he mumbled turning to get the rest of his ingredients, he was pretty sure they already had a dry vermouth or he would have asked Jim to pick some up, ah yes, they did. ... /They/? /Jim/ did, this was /Jim's/ apartment. Whatever, gin too, he started pouring. "wouldn't even look like a tiger," he muttered, "tabby cats look like tigers." A sentence that sounded, real dumb in a defensive, hushed tone, but such is life.

Jim smiled and stood up, going to hug Sebastian from behind. "I do /not/ want orange hair all over my Versace, thank you very much." He kissed Sebastian's neck. "When are you going to put your suit onnnnnn?"

Sebastian smiled in spite of himself, "I said I'd think about it!" He retorted, closing the cocktail shaker and shaking it.

Jim moved his hands down lower. "What if I gave you... incentive, Mr. Bond?"

Sebastian grinned. Oh this bitch. "Uh-huh? You're seducing me to fulfil your evil plans?" he asked pouring the drinks into glasses, "I'm afraid you'll never break me, monsieur, my training is too thorough, my will is absolute."

Jim slid his hands underneath Sebastian's jeans. "Absolute, you say? No room for moral grey area?" He bit Sebastian's ear lobe. "Everything in moderation darling, too much good can be a bad thing."

Sebastian let his head roll back a little bit. Fuck that felt good, it had been such a long fucking day he would absolutely love to just fucking have sex with his boyfriend right about now. His boyfriend with an agenda. "Hmmmorally grey? Maybe, but I get the feeling you might be pure evil, baby, would I be wrong?"

Jim moved his hands back up, pulling Sebastian's shirt off as they travelled up his chest. Fuck, he was warm. Jim pressed his body up against his boyfriend's and whispered in his ear. "Isn't it more fun if you find out yourself?" He kissed down Sebastian's neck and started nipping at his shoulder.

Sebastian raised his arms slightly and let his shirt slide off him. Fuuuuucccccckkkkkk. A particularly sharp nip set him off and he turned quickly, snaking his arm to hold onto hair on the back of Jim's head as he kissed him, biting his lip a little smiling as pulled back, "Sure," he breathed, composing himself a /little bit/ at least, "a little reconnaissance work wouldn't kill me, could be fun," He grinned and ran his fingers through Jim's hair, pulling maybe just a little, "I /do/ do all my own stunts."

Jim gasped a little. His hands found their way to the small of Sebastian's back as he tried his hardest not to fucking grind against him. Damn, he was fucking hot. "Oh? You don't say?" Jim heard himself whisper. "Care to go into a little more... detail?"

Sebastian smiled and held onto Jim's hair, pulling his head back to lightly kiss and bite along his neck "MmmI do this thing with my tongue my boyfriend seems to like," he smirked. He moved his free hand down, past Jim's waist and hips to his ass, "and," he added "almost no gag reflex!" He grinned and then suddenly moved to scoop Jim up in his arms so that he was in Sebastian's arms, straddling him, an oldie but a goodie, he fucking loved Jim's weight against him, his legs around him, his mouth and neck and collarbone right fucking there to kiss, and bite. "I also know a /little/ jujitsu," he added with a wink.

Oh /fuck/. Jim definitely moaned when Sebastian pulled his hair and bit along his neck. /Shit/. And then Sebastian's hands were on his ass and he was holding him and Jim was just perched up on Sebastian's hips and /fuck/ he was good. Jim wrapped one arm around Sebastian's neck and grabbed his hair with the other hand and started making out with his boyfriend like his life depended on it. "Yeah?" He whispered against his lips. "If I didn't know better I'd say you were a very dangerous man, your boyfriend better be careful."

Sebastian grinned. "Mmmhe's something of a danger himself," he murmured, nipping at Jim's bottom lip before smiling and kissing him back. Fuck he was beautiful, Sebastian was already half hard and didn't even notice his body moving them towards the bedroom until they were through the door.

When Jim hit the mattress he pulled Sebastian on top of him and got a little lost in the motion of their bodies moving against each other. This kissing was /violent/. It was hot and wet and /god/, Sebastian's hands in his hair and on his body and /his/ body holding him down and why was he still wearing a shirt??? He grabbed Sebastian's hand and pushed it towards the hem of his t-shirt.

Sebastian scoffed, smiling, "/pushy/" he murmured grabbing on and lifting the shirt expertly over Jim's head. He only took a moment to gaze at his half-naked boyfriend beneath him before moving to kiss and bite at Jim's shoulder, and then to leave a trail of gentle kisses down his chest, one hand at the base of Jim's neck, fingernails digging in a little.

"Oh /Fuck/ Sebastian," Jim gasped. This was fucking amazing, he felt like he was forgetting something but he pushed the thought out of his mind, it could wait. He grabbed Sebastian's hair with his hands and felt his back arch as Sebastian continued to bite and kiss his way lower down Jim's chest. Holy fucking shit, "Seb, baby, I want you to-" what, what the fuck. Why was his phone ringing. Oh, "/Shit/."

Sebastian ignored it. Cell phones rang, it happened, the pale skin on his boyfriend's throat was growing red scratches and his skin was warm against Sebastian's mouth, he couldn't give a fuck about Jim's fucking phone. "Want me to what?" he murmured, letting his eyes flit up to meet his boyfriend's.

Oh, shit, Jim couldn't fucking say no to that. "God, fucking /anything/ Sebastian." Jim was upset that Sebastian had stopped kissing him but he was, appreciating(?) the brief moment of clarity. "The food babe."

"The what?" Sebastian brain caught up and he groaned, slumping a little and resting his forehead on Jim's chest, "here's the thing though, I don't fucking care about Chow Mein anymore I wanna fuck my boyfriend can they fuck off???"

Jim smiled. "We don't /have/ to get it now, you could, finish this first..." Jim pulled Sebastian up by his hair and kissed him hard on the mouth, the phone had stopped ringing and he wasn't complaining about how fucking good it felt to worry about it.

Sebastian grinned against Jim's lips and trailed his nails from Jim's throat down across his collarbone, down his chest, down his side, his fingers traced Jim's hip bone and then his fingertips dipped under jeans, just under the waistband of Jim's underwear- fuck! He startled as Jim's phone started buzzing in the pocket right beside his hand and ringing loudly.

Jim's breath hitched as Sebastian's hands moved underneath his underwear. "Don't stop," he breathed out, jesus christ, could Sebastian not see that he was fucking hard?? He could barely keep his composure as Sebastian's hand stayed, unmoving, millimetres from his dick. He could barely hear his phone ringing.

Sebastian paused, and then smirked, and then disobediently withdrew his hand, slipped it into Jim's pocket and pulled out the ringing phone. He looked at the number, yup, Chinese food place. He held out the phone to Jim, smiling playfully. "Don't stop? But it's /rude/ to not so much as answer the phone, dear," he purred, moving his free hand to unbutton and then unzip Jim's pants. "especially when they seem so desperate to get a hold of you." his fingers trailed the waistband of Jim's underwear, then slightly lower. He was still holding out the phone, the phone was still ringing. He leaned in closer, just a little, to whisper "/pick up/."

Jim didn't like being told what to do but this initial flash of rage was overwhelmed by how absolutely fucking hot this was. He stared at Sebastian, panting a little, before taking the phone from him. "Fuck, okay, fuck y-ou." Sebastian had /no/ fucking right to do /that/ to him. With Sebastian still kissing him, and biting him and doing /that/ with his hands and moving his mouth definitively lower, Jim, against all better judgement, picked up the phone. "Hello? Yeah, you- /shit/ - you have the right address."

Somehow no sound had ever been so exciting as the sharp inhale as Jim struggled to sound natural for the poor fucking minimum wage delivery driver. He hummed lightly as he placed little kisses lower and lower. He looked up and smiled. "Ask how long they'll be, will you?" he asked in a hushed voice, right before moving his hands to move down the inside of Jim's thighs.

Jim felt weak. God, fuck, he felt fucking /humiliated/ but it was worth it because holy fuck, did the things Sebastian was doing feel /good/. Every little touch ran shivers of pleasure up his spine as he tried, desperately, to keep his composure. "Do you," hit bit back a moan, unable to keep a quiet whimper from escaping his throat. "Have any idea, how long you'll be?" FUCK, FUCK FUCK. His breathing was heavy as Sebastian fucking licked his thigh, staring him in the eyes as he did it. God, fucking /freak/. Jim barely heard the drivers response. "Ten mi-inutes?" He managed to respond, still staring at Sebastian.

Sebastian's eyes gleamed, he smiled, fiendishly? Some might say fiendishly. He pulled down the boxer brief, slowly, "Something wrong, love?" he said quietly, very much unable to stop himself from grinning.

Jim clenched his teeth. "Yeah, just buzz up, I'll come down to grab it." Oh my god Jim, just hold on five more seconds, phone call will be over in five seconds. He couldn't look at Sebastian anymore, that /smile/. He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling and tried to ignore his body and his evil, evil boyfriend.

Sebastian considered the soliloquy he'd very recently read on mercy. Hilarious. He licked from the base of Jim's dick to the head before taking it into his mouth, looking /quite/ hmmmm, /smug/.

The sound Jim made, directly into the phone, was absolutely fucking vulgar. The delivery driver cut of in the middle of their sentence and Jim bit his lip, suppressing another salacious moan. "Flat B. Thanks! Bye!" He squeaked out. He hung up the phone and all but threw it across the room, letting his hands find Sebastian's hair again as he tried not to buck against his mouth.

Sebastian knew what he was doing. High on the fucking adrenaline of what Jim was fucking /doing/? Sure. But he did /not/ forget himself. He knew this was a little bit cruel, as far as pranks go. He did not fucking care. Jim hung up and he took him right down his throat, purring all the way, willing the vibration to carry onto sensitive skin. Long fucking day. Oh he /deserved/ a little fun at someone else's expense.

"Oh my /God, Sebastian/." Jim lost it. His mind went fucking blank and he was thrusting back into his boyfriend's mouth. "Ten, /holy shit/, ten minutes babe." He managed to breath out

/This won't take a whole ten fucking minutes/. He couldn't say it, firstly because he'd been more than enough of a dick already, and second because there was a slightly more literal dick pushing at the back of his throat. He hummed and absolutely delighted in the shiver and slight gasps he recieved in response. He though about taking Jim right down his throat, right now. He decided against it. Instead, he pulled right off and licked, slowly from the tip right back down to the base of Jim's dick. "Ten minutes til what, darling?" he asked, innocently, with an expression that might better be described as /evil/, wrapping his hand around the base and grinning. "Sorry, is that your guess? 'bout how long you're gonna last?" His eyes fucking shone, he'd be surprised if the neighbours weren't blinded by the malevolent glint radiating out of him as he stroked Jim slowly. "I don't fucking think so, sweetheart." He /beamed/ before deep throating his boyfriend's dick in one fluid motion. His ears prickled for his prize, his fucking reward, a hitch in breathing, a curse, a moan, a yell, just to fucking hear Jim lose it. /Fuck/. Just to hear /Jim/. His brain was playing that 'oh my /god Sebastian/' on loop. More specifically it was playing his own name, gasped out, over and over. /Fuck/.

"Oh!" Jim was fucking desperate. Sebastian was taunting him. He had complete and total control over Jim and Jim just, didn't care. He wanted more of it, he wanted Sebastian to tease him and call him sweetheart again but it had been weeks since Sebastian had given him head like /this/ and he was sure he'd die if Sebastian took his mouth off his dick again. His hands were still in Sebastian's hair and he could feel his fingers white knuckling as Sebastian got him closer and closer. "Seb, I'm fucking, oh /shit/," he groaned as he felt himself spasm and finish. Yeah, definitely not ten minutes.

Sebastian felt warmth in his throat, felt spasms, heard the sounds Jim made as he cut himself off, incapable of anything more coherent than a groan in that precise moment. Sebastian was suddenly floating on a cloud of bliss, only slightly impinged upon by the fact that he was now /painfully/ hard himself. He ignored it. He forced his eyes up to take in the glow now unmistakably eminating off Jim's face, his whole body really. Fuck. /Perfect/. He pushed himself up with some effort to positing their faces again, one above the other. He kissed Jim, slowly but deliberately. The familiar taste was intoxicating and he pulled back, "There," he breathed, "reconnaissance achieved. Someone's got a bit of a /thing/ for being fucking /played with/." He eyed the phone and smiled. /Good thing he made such excellent games./

Jim was breathing heavily on the bed. Christ, Sebastian knew exactly what he liked. Part of him wanted to pass out there on the bed but the other, more dominant part won over. Jim hooked a leg around Sebastian's back and flipped him over so that Jim was lying on his chest, their lips brushing against each other. Jiu Jitsu, Sebastian had taught him that. "Use me." Jim licked the edge of Sebastian's jaw and pressed his lips along Seb's neck and down to his stomach, playfully biting at his nipple as he passed it and pausing to suck a /beautiful/ hickey on his boyfriend's ribs.

Sebastian felt the moan come out of him as teeth bit into his skin. "Use you?" it definitely wasn't supposed to come out that breathy, that fucking invested, but right now? He couldn't bring himself to give a shit. "Do-" He let out a hiss, /fuck this bitch knew what he was doing./ His voice was definitely higher than he intended, "Do tell?"

Jim grinned and looked up at his boyfriend, his hands holding Sebastian's hips, thumbs pressing into the muscle beside his hip bones. "Don't play dumb Seb, I've been to your apartment, I /know/ you know how to use toys." Jim licked a straight line all the way down from Sebastian's stomach to the head of his dick before taking it in his mouth and pumping a few times. He pulled back though, and looked Sebastian in the eyes for a brief moment. "And /you/ know /exactly/ how I'm gonna let you use me." He dipped back down, holding Sebastian's hips against the mattress.

Ohfuckohfuckohfuck. ".... oh /fuck/" it came out as a whisper. He felt his eyes roll back into his head, that fucking /mouth/ Jesus fucking /Christ/. He didn't know if it was worse when it was on his dick or fucking talking but he was hanging onto control of his body by a thread. The thread was fraying with every movement Jim made. Sebastian moaned, low and gutteral, as his hands moved to tangle into dark hair. /Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck/.

Jim smiled around Sebastian as he heard his boyfriend swear quietly. /He did that/. And nothing was more fucking satisfying. Oh god, actually, the hands pulling his hair and pushing his head down came really fucking close Jim /loved/ those fucking hands. He went deeper, moving his hands from Sebastian's hips to the back of his thighs, his fingers resting on his boyfriend's ass.

Time was losing pretty much all meaning. Hands were on his thighs, then his ass, there was a /very/ competent warm mouth around his dick but if he thought about that too much he'd probably loose his mind. The mouth took him in deeper. He was loosing his fucking mind. "Fuck, Jim, /Fuck/," he needed to get a grip, all he had was his hands in Jim's hair. "If you can't stop," his breathing hitched a little as he looked down, focusing on Jim, his voice low, breathy, "looking so fucking gorgeous I'm gonna-" Sebastian threw his head back as Jim's tongue did a particularly skillful little- /fuck./ "Jim I-" He came, with a noise that reverberating from very deep in his throat and- 

... /whatthefuck was that, what the absolute fuck/. "....Fuck," too long teasing, too long bantering, early fucking delivery person, /fuck/. Uuuuugggghhhhh. Neither of them was exactly, suited for the task of answering the door just now, they both smelled like sex and probably looked like it too. Sebastian threw an arm over his face and groaned. /What was the point of having a genius boyfriend if he couldn't fucking come up with a solution to just not answer the fucking door./ He almost wanted to be frustrated with fate but with all the endorphins flooding his body it was actually kind of difficult. He just felt high. He just felt, amazing. He opened his eyes to look at Jim, "........ /fuuuuuuuuuuck/ youreperfect." he mumbled.

Jim /loved/ being called gorgeous. That was, literally all he needed to finish Sebastian off, and fuck, fucking worth it. Early delivery man, mmm wasn't gonna be his problem. He pulled himself up beside Sebastian and kissed him on the cheek, then brushed some sticky, sweaty hair away from his forehead. "Well /I/ can't possibly get the door, I'm completely indecent."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. Bitch. Bitchasspuckassbitch. He groaned and pushed his hand back through his hair. There was pretty much no point trying to make it look presentable. He pulled himself to his feet before pulling his underwear back up and re-zipping his jeans. He snatched a shirt from the bed beside him, who's had this been? Didn't matter. "In-fucking-decent," he muttered to himself, shaking his head. He leaned down to kiss Jim lightly on the mouth, "You're /Satan/" he informed him in a murmur, "you're so fucking lucky I love you more than life itself, you're /the worst/."

"I'm morally grey honey." Jim smiled sweetly at Sebastian and kissed him on the forehead. "Don't keep the poor bastard waiting though, god knows he's been through enough." Jim watched as Sebastian left the room, he missed him already. Stupid. He found his underwear and pulled it back on, and in his hunt for a shirt he found that Sebastian was still wearing the one he'd borrowed from Jim. /Cute/.

Sebastian pulled the shirt on over his head in the living room before going downstairs and opening the front door. "Hii," he smiled awkwardly. A man holding two large brown paper bags blinked at him. The man's eyes widened in surprise before he could stop them. /What? Never seen someone get Chinese post-fuck? Un-fucking-likely. Take a picture! It'll last longer!/ "Jim?" the man asked, shaking Sebastian out of his frustrated trance. He blinked, "What?" The delivery man shuffled awkwardly to hold up the bag with the label, "Uh, Chinese food order for Jim, that you?" "Oh! uh, yeah that's us." The man handed him the bags and smiled slightly, "Great. You folks have a, uh, fun night now." Sebastian started blushing just a little. "Thanks, you too," he got out and upstairs quickly, closing the door as soon as he could and leaning back against it.

Jim had overheard. He followed Sebastian to the living room, leaning against the doorway to the bedroom and trying not to laugh at his /hopeless/ interaction with the delivery man. His arms crossed, he smiled innocently at Sebastian as he slammed the door shut. "So, how are we gonna do this, food and then movie? Movie with food? You still haven't put on your fucking suit."

/Bitch/. Sebastian closed his eyes and smiled in spite of himself. "Movie with food, uh, Hm? Oh, you're right, sorry, I got intercepted by an enemy agent in the kitchen, thankfully that threat has been neutralised... for now." He pushed off the door and took the food to the living room, plopping the bags on the coffee table before remembering the cocktails and grinning, retrieving them from their position, forgotten on the counter. He took a sip, excellent, before placing them beside the food. He stared at the layout and then smiled a little and sighed dramatically. He pulled off the shirt he'd really /just/ put back on and slid passed Jim into the bedroom, pausing to kiss him lightly on the temple, "You're a monster," he murmured fondly, before going to get his suit.

Jim smiled. "I know darling!" He called. God, Sebastian/was/ perfect. He took his laptop to the living room and set up Skyfall. The last time they'd watched a spy movie together Sebastian had told him to "be quiet, if you talk it ruins it" and had then proceeded to comment on the characters' every action. Hearing Sebastian go "oh, fuck you" under his breath every time he disagreed with someone on screen was, in fact, the cutest thing Jim had ever witnessed. He smiled at the memories and entered the bathroom, closing the door and uncapping the lipstick.

Sebastian even put on a tie. If that wasn't a testament to how fucking absolutely he loved this little freak then nothing was. Entering the living room however, the freak was nowhere to be found. He closed his eyes and smirked. /Expect absolutely nothing, whatever it is, he'll be doing something else./ He had the sense however that around any corner his boyfriend might be waiting, finger playfully flexing on the trigger of a handgun. Cute. "Hello?" he called into the apartment.

The lipstick was easy. It wasn't like Jim had never put on makeup before. That, combined with his almost-time-for-a-haircut hair, sorta made him look like a femme fatale. ...maybe just, gay. He was still wearing his boxer briefs and Sebastian's t shirt. Hm. He took off his underwear. This shirt was long enough, right? Right. He hoped so, fuck. He heard Sebastian call him and he opened the bathroom door. "Hi love! Oh, /shit/ baby," They should have bond nights more often, Sebastian looked /exquisite/. He walked up to Seb and straightened his tie. "You look absolutely /criminal/ Mr. Bond."

/Ohfuckohfuckohfuck/ this fucking /Fuck/. Sebastian genuinely couldn't tell if his jaw dropped. That should be illegal. He almost laughed, /like that'd stop him/. One hand moved to Jim's waist but he couldn't take his eyes off that freak's fucking perfect face. He raised his free hand to very lightly run the pad of his thumb across Jim's bottom lip in trance-like fascination, only a tiny amount clung to his thumb but, fuck, he was gonna ruin that perfect little work of art later. He grinned, "Only for you, darling," he murmured. Fuck, this fucking freak was prefect.

Jim grinned. Making Sebastian melt was his favourite pastime. "So, you wanna watch Skyfall now?" Jim gazed up at Sebastian with his lips parted, god, he was /trying/ to look like a whore, and he was pretty sure Sebastian could tell. He went to the couch. Huh. He hadn't thought about sitting, and he was suddenly! Very aware of how much leg was actually exposed, but it was all for ambience. He opened one of the bags. "/Fuck/ that smells good."

Sebastian stared a moment longer then shook his head. This /freak/. "I'll get us plates." He did. Returning, however, he was once again completely distracted. It took him a moment to remember there was even Chinese food to dish out onto his plate, ridiculous. He centred himself, and smiled, that was, for /him/. Jim looked this fucking /good/- well, primarily for his own fucking ends, this was Jim Moriarty, but /this/ was, undeniably, at least a little bit for Sebastian. He started getting food. "You're almost as ridiculous as you are physically perfect, you know that huh? You're fucking insane."

"Its all for you darling." Jim started dishing some of the fried rice onto his plate. "And I prefer the term eccentric. Do you want me to start it?"

Sebastian grinned, leaning over to kiss the side of Jim's head. The phrase elegantly dishevelled popped into his head, dark hair falling, in his own personally opinion, perfectly over itself, still looking, to the expert observer, distinctly post-fuck. "Yeah, yeahyeahyeah, fuck yeah." His brain had almost forgotten they were watching Skyfall which was ridiculous since this was literally all /for/ Skyfall. Fuck yes. The chinese food was excellent, this was excellent.

Jim pressed the space bar and leaned into Sebastian. "Can you pass me my martini Seb? Oh, what game are we playing again?" He started eating his beef and broccoli as the shot opened, eyes darting between the screen and his gorgeous, obsessive boyfriend, hoping to get some idea of exactly how much Sebastian loved this movie.

"What?" he was already kind of too excited to think, "Oh! Yeahyeahyeah," he picked up both drinks, handing one to Jim, eyes darting back from the screen they were suddenly glued to, but getting caught, /fuck/ he looked good. He smiled, "oh, uh, did we decide? Fuck I don't rememb- wait! First shot! Look! Important! Okay uh," he lowered his voice slightly, to respect the etiquette of the theatre, housing exclusively the two of them, so as not disrespect Skyfall, "Drink every time something's gay? Oh! And every time you say something's unrealistic." He grinned.

Jim smiled. Sebastian was /so/ cute. "Okay." Jim was having a good fucking time. Sebastian did this thing whenever Daniel Craig had literally any dialogue where he would sigh a little under his breath, and he would grab Jim's (bare) thigh whenever something the action picked up. About a third of the way in Jim had just finished his second martini (he couldn't help it! No one had an idea how hard it was to fire a gun one handed!!! And Sebastian was right, the homosexual subtext was more text than sub) and was ~tipsy~. The leftover chinese food was a little bit of a mess on the table and Jim desperately needed to reapply his lipstick. He waited for an opportune moment and hit the space bar, much to Sebastian's dismay. He placed a hand on his boyfriends neck, pushing his chin up with his thumb, pouted, and looked him in the eyes. "I'm out, will you make me another one? Please?"

Sebastian was also tipsy, excited about the movie, disappointed about it being paused, absolutely entranced by his gorgeous fucking boyfriend. He stifled a whimper, paused in a one second sulk, smiled because he literally could not maintain even the semblance of a bad mood right now, and took the glasses to the kitchen to make more vespers.

Jim let himself stare after his boyfriend for a few seconds before packing up the left overs and taking them to the fridge. He grabbed the lipstick from the bathroom counter on his way and, after putting away the remainder of the Chinese food, he came up behind Sebastian, wrapping his arms around his waist. "You were right, it /is/ gay."

"Mmmm, told you so," smiled a very self-satisfied Sebastian. "Fuck it's /good/ though right?!?! I mean am I wrong?!?!? Hm, it's better with the lemon garnish, do we have another lemon?" he didn't catch himself. "Oh," he paused, then laughed a little, taking Jim's hand from around his waist to kiss it lightly, "/you/, do /you/ have another lemon, I spend too much fucking time here."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Don't say /that/, I love you here. It's really very convenient for me." Jim moved his hands up to Sebastian's chest, pressing his cheek into his boyfriends back. "We have another lemon, it's in /your/ fruit bowl." It was Sebastian's. Jim didn't believe in fruit bowls, fruit belonged in the fridge, unless it was bananas. Stupid, dumb train of thought, he dug his nails into Sebastian's pecs a little bit. "Hurry, I miss Agent 007 and his suppressed bisexuality."

Sebastian smiled, a warmth spread in his chest only partially related to the alcohol. "Don't we all," he smiled, satisfied. He didn't always care about being right but in this particular instance it absolutely fuelled him. "And it isn't my fruit bowl! My fruit bowl is in /my/ apartment, I purchased this fruit bowl for you because you had miraculously just forgotten to own one such household necessity!"

Jim dug his nails in harder. "You /know/ how I feel about fruit bowls, asshole." He let Sebastian go and grabbed his drink, moving to the island to watch Sebastian slice the lemon. He uncapped his lipstick again and started to reapply it, using the glass as a mirror. He glanced up at Sebastian, hoping he was being watched, and frowned at him. "I really don't know if red is my colour."

/Flirt./ Sebastian looked up with a slightly exasperated smile and then then furrowed his brow in mock concern, "Oh? Hm," he looked down, finished sorting out the lemon and took his own drink as he moved to Jim, placing his glass beside Jim's, "let me see?" He tilted Jim's face up with a thumb under his chin and hummed in thought. "Let's /see/." He kissed him, hard, and then they were making out against the island. His hand moved back roughly into Jim's hair, pulling him back a little as he bit into that bottom lip just hard enough to draw a tiny bit of blood. He leaned back, looking quite pleased with himself. "Actually," he mused, "I think it suits you /perfectly/. But if you're really concerned," he nodded to the slightly fading marks his fingernails had left on Jim's neck from earlier, "I can try not to leave any scratches," he kissed Jim's mouth, "little cuts," he kissed Jim's jaw, "bite marks," he kissed Jim's neck, teeth teasing the skin.

Holy /fuck/. Jim's breathing was ragged and all of the fresh lipstick was smeared across Sebastian's mouth. ...It was, really hot. He gasped a little as Sebastian bit into his neck and, no, fuck this, this was /Sebastian's/ movie and they were not getting fucking sidetracked. Jim pushed Sebastian off and back handed him. He turned and went back to reapplying the lipstick. "Don't be a tease, you know I love those. Don't you want to finish the movie before we fuck, darling?" Jim pressed his lips together and popped his mouth open. He grabbed the glass and waltzed past Sebastian into the living room, not even giving him a second glance.

"And /I'm/ the tease?" Sebastian muttered, but there was no malice in it. He didn't even bother to rub his face where it stung, he just savoured it. He took his own drink and excitedly followed Jim to the couch, snaking an arm around his boyfriend's waist as he sat down, kissing the side of his head. "This is, fucking heaven," he murmured into tousled hair.

"Yeah?" Jim smiled up at him. "You're a fucking geek, you know that? This bond shit is geeky, and I'm in love with you." Jim kissed him on the cheek, leaving a stain, and started the movie. He absentmindedly took a sip - another stain. Fuck, /don't/ imagine what Sebastian's dick would look like if...

Sebastian hummed happily. "/That's/ gay," he murmured to himself and took a sip. It was insane how literally every scene was just as exciting as the last, he remembered the movies, obviously, but not the details, those tended to come back to him right before they appeared on screen, leading him to go "Oh fuck!" a second /before/ someone pulled a gun or fell off something tall, which was /kind of/ like a spoiler and he tried to stop himself but his excitement got the better of him on the, semi-regular.

Jim absolutely adored Sebastian. Every single time he said /anything/, Jim was just... yeah. Fuck, he was in deep. After a fourth martini and a very explicitly homosexual scene that had /Jim/ on the edge of his seat they finished the movie. Jim leaned against the armrest of the couch and downed the rest of his drink, taking the lemon garnish off of the glass. He sucked on it a little before spreading his legs and looking up at Sebastian who still seemed to be entranced by Daniel Craig's performance. "Well, I have to say, I quite enjoyed that."

Sebastian beamed. "Fucking RIGHT?" he gestured in a slightly intoxicated but mostly just emphatic manner at the screen. He noticed his martini and finished it, placing it back on the coffee table humming. He turned to Jim with a softer smile, reaching an arm out to support him a little as he leaned over Jim to kiss him slowly, "thank you," he smiled.

Oh, that was, soft. They were soft but, Jim really hadn't expected this from Sebastian, now. "Oh, of course," he kissed Sebastian back, lightly. "Thank /you/." He pulled back. "For showing me and for... this." Jim reached forward and lifted Sebastian's tie slightly, looking at it, looking at, his boyfriend. In a suit. Fuck, this happened so rarely and Jim /definitely/ hadn't devoted enough time to it.

Sebastian felt himself staring in absolute adoration, "Yeah, yeah," he muttered, still smiling, kissing his boyfriend again because he /could/ and then pulling back because he could also just stare at him, studying every part of the face, illuminated mostly by the credits still rolling for the movie. He moved his hand to cup the side of Jim's face, stroking his cheek lightly with his thumb, "we should do this more often."

"I would do anything to get you in a suit Sebastian." Jim said, sounding, oh, serious? A little more desperate than he would have liked? Gross. "And I also, love watching these with you. Spy movies, they make you glow." /THAT/ was gay. Really gay. But Jim was also wearing lipstick and sitting in Sebastian's lap so, on brand?

A very large and genuine smile painted itself easily over Sebastian's face, was he glowing? Maybe, who was he to say, but it definitely wasn't /just/ because of the movie. "That's so funny," he grinned, leaning in to kiss Jim again, "I'd do anything to get you /out of/ a suit." One hand was playing absentmindedly with Jim's hair and the other slipped under the T-shirt, /his/ T-shirt, to hold Jim's waist.

Jim rolled his eyes, trying to mask how fucking weak that hand on his waist made him. "Oh please, you know I haven't worn a suit in 24 hours, maybe more." His hands were undoing the tie slowly, shit, he didn't want that. "Oh, fuck, your tie's undone, let me fix it." His fingers could've /definitely/ moved faster, but Jim... wanted to go, slow. He felt, vulnerable. Sebastian could do anything to him and yet, here he was, sitting on his boyfriend's lap and tying a tie that /he/ had undone.

Sebastian drank in the look in Jim's eyes as he fixed the tie around his neck. His fingers were tracing rows back through Jim's hair, fuck he was pretty, those fucking eyes though, "Jim?" he murmured, "What is it about the suit? What's so great about it, walk me through this."

Jim looked into Sebastian's eyes and got lost for a second. "Hm? Oh, well, for one thing, you rarely dress up, for another, they just fit your body really well." He finished the knot and moved his hands up Sebastian's chest as he said it. "But, main reason? Suits mean power, they mean control, they mean dignity and wealth and the ability to do whatever the /fuck/ you want." Jim was still looking at Sebastian, /shit/ he was pretty. "What can I say, Sebastian, power looks good on you."

Sebastian smiled, /power/, yeah, that checked out. "Hmmmmred looks good on /you/," he hummed in response, moving his hand to trace the small amount of dried blood still on Jim's bottom lip, "convenient," he grinned, before tightening his grip on Jim's hair and hip and tilting his own head up to catch his boyfriend's bottom lip, lightly biting open the cut again.

"Oh? Ow," Jim said softly. He tasted the metal of his own blood as Sebastian pulled away. All Jim could do to stare at him in awe, fuck, the /suit/ but also the lipstick smeared over his mouth from earlier and the tiniest bit of Jim's blood on his teeth. It was profane, pornographic, definitely illegal to look that good. Jim moved his right hand to the back of Sebastian's neck. "You don't think I'm wearing too much of it?" He breathed.

Sebastian's breath caught in his throat for just a moment, "Hmmno such thing as too much of a good thing," he purred back, tightening his grip on Jim's hip again, this time adding nails and using the hand in Jim's hair to pull him forward, savouring the slight taste of blood as he kissed his boyfriend with an unmasked hunger.

Oh, fuck. Jim definitely wasn't sloppy but he was drunk enough that the sensation of Sebastian's nails in his hip and hand pulling his hair and tongue sliding into his mouth was enough to overwhelm him with pleasure to the point of desperation. He clutched at the hair at the base of his boyfriend's neck and kissed him back just as forcefully. He felt Sebastian getting hard beneath him and /that/ earned a moan from Jim similar to the one he'd made on the phone earlier; this time into his boyfriend's talented mouth.

Sebastian could feel, just slightly, the texture of Jim's blood mixing with that fucking red lipstick against his lips and fuck, even just the reminder of how Jim /looked/, especially tonight, especially when he looked like /this/, that filled him with a pretty uncontainable /want/. He pulled back, breathing a little heavy already. He smiled playfully and moved the hand in Jim's hair to his other hip, "If you're going to dress like a fucking slut," he murmured, "you might as well commit," he pulled his T-shirt over Jims head and then moved his hands back to the newly exposed skin.

Oh god. Jim really didn't think being called a slut would do it for him, but here he was, fully fucking naked in Sebastian's lap. Sebastian, who was still wearing a full suit. Jim had gasped a little when Sebastian had pulled the shirt off but now he was back to kissing him, hands in his boyfriend's hair, almost wishing he could touch his body but he could wait, he didn't want to rush this. "Don't say it like it's a bad thing," he whispered against Sebastian's lips as they made out. "I know you fucking love it,"

Sebastian grinned against his boyfriend's mouth. He certainly never said he didn't love it. He pulled Jim's head back again to look at him. Fuck. "Red lipstick..." the drama of it all, he almost laughed, "You know that if you want me to fuck you, you can always just /ask/." He grinned and pulled Jim just slightly closer, pressing a kiss against his neck. "Not that I'm at all opposed to the flair, of course," he murmured against the skin before latching on with his teeth and starting on what promised to be quite the impressive Hickey.

"Ohhhh, ohkay," Jim groaned, fuck, that definitely wouldn't be gone by his next meeting but he didn't fucking care, it hurt so good and all he wanted was another one, and another, any evidence of Sebastian on his skin was welcome. "Sebastian," he breathed out, a little sharply. "Will you fuck me?"

Sebastian smiled, and then bit down hard and sudden in response, reveling in the sound Jim made. He pulled away, and let his eyes trail down Jim's perfect fucking body. He hummed, seemingly in thought, "Yeah," he decided in a low tone, betraying the desire devouring him a little more than he intended but fuck it, "I think I will."

Jim knew he looked desperate, he was straddling his boyfriend and wearing nothing but red lipstick. He /asked/ Sebastian to fuck him. Jim was definitely not happy with Sebastian ending the love affair with his neck but the low and breathy sound of his voice as he caressed Jim's face definitely made it worth it. As soon as he said yeah, in /that/ voice, Jim melted. He /belonged/ to Sebastian.

Sebastian ran his hands down Jim's sides, enjoying the light shiver he could feel across the skin. "Alright," he whispered, "let's go, baby," he pushed them off the couch, slipping an arm under Jim to support him and carrying him to the bedroom, tossing him easily onto the bed and pausing, cocking an eyebrow. He smirked, took off his suit jacket and threw it onto the bed beside Jim before starting to undo his tie.

Jim had forgotten how fucking /strong/ Sebastian was. He was easily lifted carried and thrown as if he weighed nothing and, shit, seeing Sebastian standing over him and undoing that tie painfully slowly, smirking at him with one eyebrow raised, fuck. If he hadn't been hard before (he had), he was now. He wasn't going to be /that/ easy though. He rolled over, propped himself up on his elbows and grabbed Sebastian's suit jacket, bringing it to his nose. "Smells like you, it's a shame you have to take it off so soon." He pouted dramatically.

Sebastian hummed in noncommittal response, smiling to himself and slipping the tie from around his neck. He reached up to Jim's shoulder to push him back onto his back and held him there lightly as he climbed on top, straddling his boyfriend, still smirking, "A shame?" he murmured leaning over Jim, one hand on either side of his head, "Well it's not for nothing, sweetheart," he grinned, leaning in even more to kiss Jim slowly. Then, suddenly his hands were on Jim's wrists and his mouth pulled away, blood and lipstick smearing red over a grin, "I needed /this/." He pulled Jim's wrists together over his head and then quickly, expertly, wrapped the tie around them firmly before securing it to the headboard with a knot. "You don't mind," he purred, tangling one hand in Jim's hair again and pulling his head back slightly to address him more directly, "do you, darling?"

Jim moaned a little as Sebastian pulled his hair, forcing him to look up at Seb's face. Jim did /not/ mind though - god, he was pretty. He looked absolutely fucking insane, blood and lipstick smeared all over his face, grinning like a fucking maniac with a glint in his eyes that Jim knew, from experience, meant he was going to be very, very sore tomorrow. He was excited, his heart was beating a thousand kilometers an hour and he felt like fucking /prey/- they would definitely be watching James Bond again if it did /this/ to Sebastian. Or maybe it was just the lipstick, fuck, stop /thinking/. Jim bit his lip and stared up at Sebastian. "Doesn't matter if I do or not, does it?"

Sebastian grinned. This bitch. "No, baby," he hummed, pulling Jim's head back just a little further, kissing him hard, reaching his free hand around Jim's throat and squeezing, not hard enough to bruise, well, not hard enough to bruise most people, Jim's skin was particularly good for leaving marks. Sebastian smiled to himself against his boyfriend's mouth imagining the slight shadow he'd be leaving. He pulled back and let go, sitting up and moving his hands down Jim's sides again instead, /fuck/. He could just reach the drawer of the bedside table to get out the lube, he grinned.

Jim whimpered as Sebastian let go of his neck. God /fucking/ damn. He pulled against the tie, nope, Sebastian's knot was /really/ solid. "Sebastian," he gasped, feeling hands resting just above his hips. "I, fuck, I want you so fucking bad babe."

"Do you?" Sebastian asked, you could only hear the smirk in his tone a little under the affected casual surprise. "You sure about that?" he leaned in to kiss Jim before sliding off him, unbuttoning his shirt with one hand and placing the other beside Jim's hip as he leaned down again, lower this time. "You want my dick inside you, and my hands around your pretty little neck?" The tip of Sebastian's tongue trailed slowly up Jim's dick before he flicked it back into his mouth with a smile. "I'm just not sure I'm convinced, sweetheart."

Jim's eyes rolled back into his head for a second. Sebastian's voice was low and sweet and /teasing/ and Jim was going to lose any ounce of dignity he had over it. He pulled against the restraints instinctively as Sebastian ran his tongue up the length of his dick, and Jim felt his mouth fly open. "Oh shit," he whispered. Hm, his voice wasn't normally that high pitched. Wait, what had Sebastian said? Not convinced?? What more did he want from Jim??? "Fuck, I do though, please Sebastian, I /need/ it."

Sebastian was not unaffected by the sounds Jim was making, /fuck/, but he pulled himself together. He had his boyfriend tied up and desperate, /savour it/. He smiled. "You do?" he cooed. He moved his hand again, this time pressing two fingers lightly against Jim's lips, "Suck that for me, will you babe?" He smiled playfully, using his free hand to get his own dick out of his pants, applying lube and stroking slowly which, given just how fucking turned on he was already, made him shiver slightly and he let his head fall back with a whispered "/fuck/."

Jim moaned a little as he took Sebastian's fingers into his mouth. He flicked his tongue around and inbetween them while dragging his mouth forward and back. He felt Sebastian shiver and that just- /fuck/. He made a desperate sound around Sebastian's fingers and felt his back arch, trying to grind against something, /anything/. He made another indecent noise as he realized that his lipstick was coming off on Sebastian's fingers too. God, the lipstick, he looked like such a fucking whore, tied up and fucking /whining/ for it.

That noise was fucking criminal, "Eager," he breathed, pulling his fingers from his boyfriend's talented mouth and adding some lube for good measure. He grinned, "and /vocal/ fuck." Lying naked and bound, literally twitching with need was a /very/ good look on Jim and for a moment Sebastian was caught just staring, but his body quickly urged him forward. He smiled and moved his clean hand to cup Jim's ass as he pushed one of the prepped fingers slowly inside. "I guess you /do/ really want this, tied up and fucked," he added a second finger, "how convenient that you look so fucking good desperate."

"/Ohmygod/," Jim breathed out. Fuck, Sebastian didn't waste a second moving up to two, not that Jim minded, he just wanted Sebastian inside him. He'd been looking at the ceiling, panting and trying not to moan too loudly, and when he looked down at Sebastian, half naked, hard, leaning over him, prepping him and smiling at him wickedly and fucking teasing him he truly lost his composure. He moaned loudly and arched his back again, closing his eyes briefly before looking back at Sebastian. "I fuckinG - /shit/ - I look, good desperate?" He asked, barely coherent.

Somehow the words sounded even more beautiful choked out. Sebastian moved slightly so that he could kiss Jim's hip, biting slightly. The soft trail of fabric wafted over Jim's dick in the lightest, teasing manner, from the button up Sebastian had unbuttoned but hadn't bothered to take off. "You're glowing, darling," he smiled, working his fingers slowly, "it suits you." He kissed Jim's hip again, and then slightly lower and to the side, leaving a trail of little kisses closer and closer to Jim's dick without ever actually touching it. Then, satisfied with his work he stood up and removed his fingers, lining himself up to push his dick slowly against the opening. He let one hand travel up Jim's abdomen to his chest, clawing just a little, as his eyes drank in the sight of flushed skin and heavy breathing, "/Fuck/," he murmured in something like, awe, "you're /perfect/."

Jim moaned softly, pulling his wrists against the restraints and lifting his upper body off of the mattress as Sebastian pushed in. He was /glowing/, /perfect/. God, he still fucking melted whenever Sebastian called him pretty. He moved with Sebastian, preening when Seb clawed at his chest. "I'm yours," he whispered. "Oh /fuck/, I'm your pretty little slut."

Sebastian exhaled slowly as he started with slow, deep strokes, leaning forward now to cup Jim's face in his hand, stroking his thumb gently over his cheek, "Oh, definitely the prettiest I've ever seen," he smiled. He moved his thumb to smear some of the lipstick still remaining on Jim's bottom lip, "You're such a fucking whore," he whispered, before pulling Jim's head back by the hair again, and biting slightly below his previous hickey, sucking hard.

"Oh my god," it was tiny, high pitched and really, /really/ fucking desperate. As much as Jim wanted Sebastian to touch him he was aware that it would not take long, at all, for him to finish and was half grateful for Sebastian's relentless teasing. When he bit below the hickey, Jim felt himself thrust upward, pushing back against Sebastian's dick. No idea how /that/ was gonna go over. He made another depraved noise. This was fucking torture, he /loved/ it. "/Sebastian/."

Sebastian pulled back, a smirk playing on his lips as he cocked an eyebrow. "/Easy/ there, baby," he murmured, trailing his hands down Jim's side, feather light, and then taking hold of his hips and holding him down, hard, now /that/ was going to bruise. He grinned, quickening his pace just a tiny little bit, "wouldn't want to get carried away," he pushed into the skin even harder, "you're going to be a /good/ little slut, aren't you?"

Jim whimpered as Sebastian slammed him back down onto the bed, digging into his hips. "Yeah," he whispered. "I can be a good little slut,"

Sebastian grinned. His hands lessened the pressure they were applying and trailed up Jim's torso slowly, "Excellent," he murmured, letting them rest on his neck for a moment before they started to squeeze, his voice was low and just a little breathy, "just what I like to hear." He leaned over Jim to kiss him, hard, his lips might be bruised tomorrow too, excellent.

Jim got lost in the kiss and for a second he didn't realize that Sebastian was choking him. But /fuck/ he was strong. Jim felt his pace quicken and soon he was gasping for air against Sebastian's lips, hands straining against the restraints and nails digging into his palms. He bit Sebastian's lip a little, this kiss was the only thing keeping him from spacing out completely.

Sebastian let go of Jim's neck and moved his hands instead to the back of his boyfriends head, lifting it slightly and pulling the hair at the same time, still making out, just now with Jim gasping for air as Sebastian bit lightly at his bottom lip. "Very good," he cooed softly, delighting in the flush of Jim's face.

Jim laughed a little. He was, definitely fucking dazed. But /still/ disappointed that the choking had ended so quickly. He made a sharp noise as Sebastian pulled his hair and then let it soften into a moan as Sebastian kissed him harder. He laughed softly again as he felt Sebastian fuck him harder. "Oh /fuck/."

There was that fucking laugh. Fuck there was that laugh. /Fuck/ Sebastian was so fucking /in love with him/. "Fuck you're amazing," he whispered, still pulling with one hand but letting the other move to cup Jim's face again. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen jesus /christ/," he breathed, pulling back just long enough to stare a moment because he /was/. "You're absolutely perfect."

Jim shuddered. Sebastian knew exactly how to get to him, and /fuck/ he was a slut for whatever Sebastian worshipped him like that. He let himself push back against Sebastian again, he couldn't fucking help it, and he saw stars for a second. "Perfect?" He managed, breathy and desperate. "You're fucking intoxicating."

This time Sebastian laughed. "Oh?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. His hands shifted again, one trailing down from Jim's hair to rest lightly on the side of his neck, the other ghosting down his chest, and then lower, and then stopping right before it got to Jim's dick. Sebastian quickened his pace and bit back a moan. "You do seem like you're high on something," he grinned, closing his hand again around Jim's throat.

Jim let out a strangled (lol) noise. "Yeah?" He choked out. He was really seeing stars now. His head tilted back against the bed and he felt waves of pleasure as Sebastian drove into him. He wondered if Sebastian's hand would leave a bruise, fuck. He could hardly breathe but he managed to squeak out a quick command. "Touch me,"

Fuck that was hot. Sebastian grinned, he hummed slightly as though he were considering the request. "Of course, baby, anything," he murmured, before wrapping his fingers slowly around the base of Jim's dick. He could feel him shiver and Sebastian let out a moan in response, "fuck," he breathed. He let his head roll back for just a second before starting to jack Jim off to the speed of his own thrusts.

Jim moaned but it barely left his throat, cut off by Sebastian's hand still squeezing, hard. He knew he wasn't going to last long, especially after Sebastian swore like that. After another moan from Sebastian a moment later, he fucking felt it. Sebastians grip had eased up a little when he'd started stroking Jim off and so Jim had a little less difficulty speaking this time. "/Fuck, Sebastian/"

Sebastian was so fucking close, listening to Jim say his name was almost too much to bare, he swore again and quickened his pace again, fucking his boyfriend into the mattress, at this point almost violently. His eyes trailed down and met Jim's and that fucking did it. The hand holding Jim's throat dug in it's nails as Sebastian came with an unfiltered moan. /Fuck/.

Feeling Sebastian let go was hot, but it was that moan that did it for Jim. He cried out and came onto both of them and slumped against the mattress, Sebastian still inside him and still clutching his neck tightly, nails digging into Jim's windpipe. "Baby," he choked out.

Sebastian's whole body was flooded with endorphins but Jim's voice brought him back to earth and he let out a breathy laugh as he let go of Jim's neck and pushed hair away from his face. He hummed pleasantly and leaned down to kiss him lazily before pulling out and moving to untie the tie from the bed in a slight daze.

As soon as Jim's wrists were untied he grabbed at Sebastian, pulling him on top. He felt like he could fall asleep immediately, but he knew they had to clean up first. They were both covered in cum and lipstick and sweat and somehow, Sebastian still smelled good? Jim sighed into his boyfriends neck and wrapped his arms around him lazily. "You smell perfect, I love you." His voice sounded like sandpaper, fuck, maybe he should drink some tea so he could retain the ability to speak tomorrow, god knew all his other functions would be impaired.

Sebastian started laughing and hugged back tightly, kissing the side of Jim's head for good measure, "You sound like you swallowed a cactus and I'm pretty sure I just smell like sex but /fuck/ am I in love with you, holy /shit/." He grinned and just enjoyed the warmth of Jim's body against his own. He was floating on bliss from every angle and he didn't want to clean up and go to bed, he wanted to stay in this moment forever, absentmindedly playing with Jim's hair, holding him, it was just, hm, divine.

Jim laid there in Sebastian's arms, head against his chest, just breathing in /him/. He was warm and fuck, Jim was genuinely too fucked up on martinis and brain chemicals to even think about moving. After maybe, ten minutes, he kissed Sebastian's chest softly, then his lips. "That was really fucking fun." Goddamn he sounded terrible. "I can't believe you've destroyed my vocal chords, now I'll never be able to do Portia's voice right. Make me some tea you evil, evil man."

Sebastian smiled lazily and hesitated to hum thoughtfully for a moment before rolling over and sitting up with a sigh. He took Jim's hand in his and kissed it lightly, "Your wish is my absolute command, obviously," he murmured, but the sarcasm was undercut by the fact that he did in fact push himself off the bed to go make Jim tea.

Jim grinned at him, could a grin be sleepy and evil at the same time? He lay on the bed for a few moments before standing up and following Sebastian out of the bedroom. Ow, fuck, his hips hurt. He went into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror and laughed. He was a fucking mess, his face was flushed and covered in lipstick, his hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat and there was definitely a shadow blooming where Sebastian's hand had held his throat. And that was just his face, the rest of his body was covered in hickeys and claw marks and bodily fluids. "Oh my god, I look absolutely /terrible/" he said, grinning.

Sebastian smiled to himself as he put the kettle on, "Terrible," he muttered to himself, opening the fridge to gaze aimlessly at the contents, "My /art/, my /masterpiece/, the bruising? The scratches? The cut on the lip? Absolutely fucking perfect," he was talking to himself quietly, staring blankly at the leftover wontons. The leftover wontons stared back and, looked kinda good actually when his vision actually focused on them, he shrugged and took them out, snack. He also wanted, hmmmm, something sweet. They were out of strawberry but he was pretty sure they still had vanilla. He took it out of the freezer and grabbed a spoon from the drying rack. He thought about his beautifully bruised boyfriend and smiled. "No accounting for taste," he mumbled absentmindedly, smearing a spoonful of ice cream on a wonton on a lazy whim. Not bad.

Jim poked his head out of the bathroom. "Yeah, taste, what the fuck are you eating? Don't talk to me about taste." He smiled and leaned against the doorframe. "I think I need to shower before snacks, do you wanna join?"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes in thought for a moment, then plopped the ice cream back in the freezer and padded towards his boyfriend. The kettle started whistling and he almost jumped. There was still ice cream wonton in his mouth so he just held up a finger to go take it off the heat and turn off the stove. He smiled to himself, heh, he couldn't accidentally burn this place down, he practically lived here.

Jim started the shower and got in. The hot water stung at first, but felt real good after a couple of seconds. He didn't really need to wash anything, he'd done that this morning, but he ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to rinse out the sweat. He heard Sebastian enter the bathroom and he smiled. "Can you speak again or are you still chewing that monstrosity?"

Sebastian swallowed. "It's not a monstrosity once you love it." he smiled getting into the shower and kissing his boyfriend on the forehead with a grin, "Dating you, aren't I?"

Jim let his jaw fall open at Sebastian's comment, giving him a gentle shove. "How dare you even /insinuate/ that I am, or have ever been, a monstrosity. You've wanted this monstrosity since, when was it??? New years two years ago???? I am a luxury and a privilege. Wash my back."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and washed his boyfriend's back. "I'm a simple man," he murmured lazily with a little smile, "I see a perfect little psychopath, I want it, I get it." He grinned.

Jim turned around and cupped Sebastian's face with hand, putting his other on his boyfriend's waist. He pressed a slow, soft kiss to his forehead and then pulled away, stroking Sebastian's cheek with his thumb. "I love you, thank you for this morning."

Sebastian smiled, he realized faintly that warm water was hitting his body, from the shower, that was nice. "I love you too," he said, plainly, happy, "Mmmthank you too," he wrapped his arm around Jim's shoulders and nuzzled into him, was the shower an ideal place for cuddling? He did not know, he was too sleepy to know such things.

Jim yawned and held Sebastian. "What, your snack didnt give you any energy?" He breathed in some of the steam from the shower. "I think, I might survive without tea, shower is working miracles." Sebastian was acting like he was about to fall asleep on Jim and Jim wasn't in the mood to attempt carrying him to the bedroom, so he switched off the water and grabbed a towel. "You have a toothbrush here right?" God, Sebastian really did live there.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah," he got out of the shower and got his own towel, then grabbing some toothpaste and what was indeed his toothbrush. He was applying said toothpaste when a thought came to mind. Unpleasant. "Hmm..... hey listen, not that I don't, have my schedule, for my very important position of employ, totally memorized, but just as a spot, quiz, for you... I don't work tomorrow do I?" He stuck the toothbrush in his mouth with a slight scowl.

"Well, you and some other goons were supposed to be escorting me to an arms deal but," Jim stroked the bruise around his neck lightly. "It looks like I'm gonna have to reschedule." Jim started brushing his teeth angrily. "It's really inconvenient, if I wasn't so important this would definitely be unacceptable."

Sebastian smiled at his boyfriend in the mirror, nothing more menacing than an angry tooth brushing, he looked like a chihuahua baring its fangs. Sebastian spit in the sink and smirked just a little. "Hmm, I'll have to remember that," he murmured, feeling, /very/ pleased. He hummed a little tune as he meandered back to the bedroom.

Jim scowled and rinsed out his mouth, pausing before he followed Sebastian to draft out a message to the arms dealer. He sent it to one of his men before texting his other body guards that the meeting was postponed till Friday. He stalked after Sebastian, huffing as he collapsed onto the bed next to his boyfriend. "You don't have to look so pleased."

"Mmmmm/but/," Sebastian smiled, with a little spark in tired eyes, "I have expertly connected the dots, filled in the bigger picture, and this means, that /both/ of us don't have work tomorrow." He closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, "Mmmcan sleep in again, make a nice breakfast, spend the day together..." he trailed off, smiling despite feeling so tired, it was an effort to move the muscles in his face, it sounded /so/ nice.

"Mmmyeah, guess we can," Jim turned into Sebastian, normally he couldn't sleep cuddling but he was too tired to care. "Mmmmm, breakfast," he reached next to him and fumbled around for a sec before grabbing the duvet and tossing it over both of them. "What will you make me?" He asked, feeling himself falling asleep even as he said the words.

"Mmminsulted ice cream wontons, won't eat tomatos, we had eggs today,,, mmmwaffles. and lil smoothie bowls with granola. We're, having..." he couldn't finish the sentence because he was already blissfully asleep. His dream was strange, he was James Bond, he was at some kind of party, it was beautiful and he loved it but random guests kept turning to him and asking when he was planning on going home, which was odd because he felt quite sure in the dream that he /was/ home, that it was his party, he was hosting, and so he simply moved past them, confused. He had a vague sense that he had to feed his cat. Nothing terrible happened, just the eventual fade back to the inky void. Just odd.


	9. Dreams and Video Games - March 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian tried so hard not to smile. "I think, you're making noticable progress! Like, hey, I think, that when you are, actually on the platform, you do very well."
> 
> Jim slowly turned to Sebastian and smiled. "Oh? Do I? Thank you oh so very much, Moran. I'll be sure to remember how kind you are when I'm snug in our bed and you're sleeping on the couch tonight, /Moran/." Jim turned back to the screen. "Again."
> 
> Sebastian paused for a moment, but Jim didn't seem to hear what he'd said so he just started another game, with, just a little bit of a smile. "Are you going to have my own, actual apartment demolished? To prove your point?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Mention of drug use, language, mention of drinking, a lil bit of hurt comfort, sexual content***
> 
> We don't mention it in here but essentially, razorscooter said ooc that Seb likes to make an avatar of Jim as close as he can get in any games with character customization, but will deny with every fibre of his body that it is his boyfriend. Just for context xxx also,, god m rly sorry if u have never played stardew valley ;-;

Jim woke up first. Sebastian's arm was still around him and crushing him like a fucking boa constrictor. He wriggled out, pushing Sebastian off with significant difficulty. That fucker didn't even flinch, just stayed sleeping like a log. Or a baby. His baby. Gross. Jim went to the bathroom to pee, trying to remember if he'd dreamt anything. Something about, hm, losing something?? Looking for something he'd lost? He shook himself off and washed his hands (he wasn't a monster, jesus) before going to make coffee. He decided to make himself an Americano, and one for Sebastian too, obviously. Hmm, had Sebastian been in his dream last night? No, no. He'd been, looking for something, he couldn't remember what, but he'd lost it in his apartment. And he'd looked /everywhere/ but he couldn't find it. Jim shivered a little, remembering the ending. The realization that maybe he'd dropped it outside his apartment, and he'd never be able to find it again. He pushed it out of his mind and got his laptop, trying to get some work done before Sebastian got up. Damn, without him for ten minutes and Jim already missed him.

Sebastian woke up and rolled over slightly. Hm. No Jim. He frowned and opened his eyes, sitting up with a yawn. He could hear typing from the other room, which made sense. He remembered he was going to make waffles and suddenly getting out of bed was significantly less of a burden. He stretched, padding into the kitchen to hunt for coffee. Jim had made him some. He smiled and took it with him to cuddle up beside his most excellent boyfriend on the couch. He'd caffinate before he started cooking, it was the responsible thing to do. He noted with a certain pride the shadow of a bruise around his boyfriend's neck. "Morning, beautiful," he murmured, kissing the side of Jim's head, "how'd you sleep?"

"Mmmmm." Jim said, very, very focused on the computer. "Our connection to the east side is addicted to cocaine again. I think I might have to cut him off, he's getting to be more of a burden than an asset." He continued typing furiously before hitting the enter key and turning to his boyfriend. "Have you ever done cocaine?" He kissed Sebastian on the forehead before turning back to the laptop.

Seb grinned, "Once or twice, have you?" It was sort of a gamble, when Jim was working he sometimes just didn't notice when Sebastian spoke, even if he had literally just asked him a question. It occurred to Sebastian that this could pretty easily be construed as an incredibly annoying tic but he'd always found it sort of adorable. He'd still talk to Jim, he was just aware that it was always 50/50 if he'd get any kind of response.

"Unfortunately." Jim looked at Sebastian still typing. "Do you want to do some arson next week? I haven't done arson in ages, it's been, eight months since I last set something on fire." Back to the computer. "Haven't been bored enough I guess. Let me know when you're gonna go cook, if you're naked I wanna watch."

"You didn't like coke?!" Sebastian asked, slightly incredulous. "Sorry and uh, yes to arson, obviously, aaaand just let me finish my coffee, some secret admirer made me an americano before I got up," he smiled, sipping said americano with the slight spark of pride he always felt when Jim got him something or made him something.

Jim smirked a little and typed for a little longer before closing the laptop. "That's about a half hour, good enough." Jim sipped his coffee and put his head on Sebastian's shoulder. "What do you want to do today, darling?"

Sebastian glanced absentmindedly at the laptop and smiled to himself, "Same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world!" He smirked, there was about a 2% chance Jim would have any idea what he was talking about, he kissed the side of his head before finishing off his coffee and getting up to go make waffles. "Mmmm I dunno, hey wait!" he spun on his heel to face Jim again, looking excited, "You never played smash! We got smash bros, fucking Thursday, and you said you'd play! And then you just fucking worked all day! And you fucking thought I'd forget didn't you!!"

Jim stared at Sebastian for a beat, before scowling and walking past him to put his mug in the sink. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Hm?" Sebastian asked, eyes following Jim like he was prey, smiling mischievously, "Oh! The Pinky and the Brain reference! It's from an old Warner Brothers cartoon, sorry, for a moment I thought you meant you didn't know, what I meant about smash, but that would just be ridiculous." His grin widened as he moved to the sink to hug Jim from behind, pressing a kiss onto his neck, "C'mooonnnnnn," he drawled, "It's just fuuuuunnnnnn."

"I just don't think video games are fun! They're a waste of time and I only bought smash bros cause you said you wanted it." Jim turned away from the sink, decidedly not looking at Sebastian. "Can't you play call of duty? I like it when you play call of duty. Or silent hill."

"Okay, but babe, how, as your boyfriend, can I claim to know you, if I don't even know your smash main??? It's like a rite of passage," he grinned, "...or you could play silent hill and I could watch, cheer you on, enjoy the view."

"The view??? What view?????" Jim looked at Sebastian now, thoroughly provoked. "What's the appeal of me playing silent hill?? I would never be so stupid as to attempt to save my doomed progeny, I'd be unable to suspend my disbelief. Fine. We'll play Smash. Smash main, bullshit. Bullshit, stupid way of judging character. FUCK! Make me breakfast." Jim stormed over to the coffee maker and started to make a pot.

Sebastian beamed. He knew better than to say anything else. He was pretty sure any more black smoke rising off the top of Jim's head would set off the fire alarm. He just beamed, and surveyed the cabinets, fridge and freezer, taking stock before spinning back excitedly. "Aight, regular? blueberry? Or chocolate chip? For the waffles, what are you feeling? I'm thinking we'll just throw like, all the rest of the frozen fruit in the smoothie bowls, it'll be like, bumbleberry it'll be good, it'll be perf, have I mentioned lately that you are absolutely radiant? And so consistently the best part of every day? That I'm just hopelessly in love with you?"

Jim gave Sebastian a look. He got the coffee filters down from the cupboard (standing on his tiptoes) and did his best to look despondent. "Make blueberry and chocolate chip. Not at the same time though, gross."

Sebastian's glee was palpable. He grinned and quickly grabbed his supplies, started melting butter, oouu browning butter yes perfect even better yes, he started whisking eggs and milk with the determination and flair of a gifted but spunky young chef in a coming of age movie proving himself to a harsh but fair and loving mentor/father figure. This would be his offering before what would undoubtedly, even if he literally /tried/ to avoid it, be a ritual slaughter.

Sebastian was silent. And smiling, which Jim loved, but he missed the happy go lucky teasing soundtrack as he finished prepping the coffee and left it to brew. He walked over to Sebastian and leaned against the counter next to him. "I love you too. The best part of /every/ day? We don't see each other /every/ day do we?"

Sebastian snaked an arm around Jim's waist to kiss him on the forehead, "I think about you every day," he grinned, still stirring butter with his free hand. "Aaaaaand..." he paused, laughed a little and removed his arm to go take the waffle iron down from its cabinet, "and I don't actually remember the last day I didn't see you, last Wednesday? Maybe?"

"No, cause we did a job together and then made out in the bathroom of the gas station on the way back. I can't believe you forgot that!" Jim thought for a second. "Two weeks ago when I went to do business in Manchester for the weekend. You wouldn't stop texting me and the client asked if I had a vibrator in my pocket." Jim smiled. "It's a shame, he offered me quite a bit of money, now I have to siphon it out of his life insurance."

Sebastian smiled and pressed a kiss to the side of Jim's head as he passed back with the iron. "Adorable," he murmured, "and in my defence, I missed you! You were gone all weekend!" He turned back to his mixing, humming slightly. "Hmm, has it really been that long since we've even spent one day apart? That feels impossible, that's crazy."

"We work together and we live together, I don't think it's /that/ crazy." Hm, what the actual fuck had he just said? The coffee maker beeped, saved by delicious caffeine once again! "You want more coffee, Seb?"

Sebastian froze a little, he didn't even, really know why. He'd almost said it himself, more or less, and more than once, too. Jim seemed to be ignoring it. That absolutely always meant something and he could pretty much never figure out what. "Mmmmmyesssss," he said, finally registering the question, "Much appreciated, darling." He poured in the first waffle and payed excessive attention to the sound of the sizzle, he was just making waffles, he would make waffles.

Jim poured them both coffee and put milk in both, then went over to kiss Sebastian on the cheek. "You look awful focused, honey." He handed Sebastian his coffee. "Dream about anything last night?"

"Oh!" A distraction in fact did not need to be crafted, it occurred naturally, "Yeah! Oh my god I can't believe I forgot to tell you, I was James Bond!" He grinned, removing the first golden brown waffle (blueberry) and pouring in some of the chocolate chip mix, to be fair, "I was having this party at my mansion or, I dunno if it was a mansion actually, but I was hosting this awesome party, but my guests kept asking when I was going home and I was like, hmmmnever I live here? When are you going home? But I didn't say that, I was James Bond, I was a very gracious host, anyway that's like, it, but the main point is, I was James Bond, then the dream shifted I think because there was something about a cat but I don't remember that. Anyway, to reiterate, I am James Bond." He winked before turning back to waffles. "How about you?"

#####  Jim kinda, stared at Sebastian for a second but, it seemed like he didn't notice any connection to real life so, whatever. "Hmmm I lost something in the apartment, and I couldnt find it, like, no matter how hard I looked, and then I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was, in fact, lost outside and I would never find it again." He narrowed his eyes. "Not as fun as james bond. Tell me more about that cat!"

Jim was looking at him sort of funny, which was, mildly terrifying just because he didn't know why, but he decided to ignore it. "Oh hm, yeah that doesn't sound super fun," he had his suspicions about that one but it seemed like it was, perhaps not the best time, "I dunno, I just had this vague sense there was A Cat, and the cat needed feeding and I was the one who was supposed to feed, which! Is just further proof that I did in fact live there, was in fact in my own home, and everyone else was just weird, maybe plotting against me, a subtle mass conspiracy, I dunno what that means about my subconscious," he paused, furrowing his brow and checking the waffles, "Is my brain paranoid? Do you think I'm paranoid?"

"I think you're acting paranoid, but I don't think you /are/ paranoid." Jim wrapped his arms around his boyfriends waist and reared his head on his shoulder. "Maybe your subconscious needs you to get a cat."

Sebastian grinned, "My subconscious said that? Well, I mean, if it insists. Wouldn't want to interfere with my own psyche." He scooped up a drop of batter that had fallen on the counter with his pinky and tapped it onto Jim's nose over his shoulder.

"Oh my fucking god, I literally despise you." Jim hugged Sebastian a little tighter. "We could go to the shelter tonight." He said, looking at Sebastian with big eyes and praying to god that he'd forget about smash.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, "... we can /look/ at the cats available, on the humane society /website/ tonight." He conceded, pulling out a waffle pouring in another.

"Uggggghhhhh," Jim let go of Sebastian and stormed over to the island. "I don't even know how to /play/ smash. And I'm hungry, ugh, aren't you hungry?"

"Oh starving," Sebastian smiled, turning to the blender as a waffle cooked, "But the anticipation? That's what turns a breakfast from good to great."

Jim felt antsy. He didn't want to drop the topic of Sebastian's dream but, it was not the best time. He sighed and went to the freezer and got out the fruit. "We have, mango, kiwi and mixed berries left. Are you sure you want all of it in one?"

"Yes! Are you not? I will make you a less adventurous smoothie but you're bound to regret it," he sang, switching out another waffle.

Jim went to get the blender down, but since Sebastian was the only one who ever made breakfast, it was on the top fucking shelf. Which Jim couldn't reach. "Why the fuck is the blender all the way up there??? I don't put anything up there, for the specific reason that I need a stool and that is /beneath/ me. I fucking despise you, you've ruined my apartment." He opened the fridge and got out the yogurt and the orange juice.

Sebastian smiled, "Do you really need a stool to reach the top shelf?" he asked innocently. Jim did. He knew. And in fact! He wasn't even a dick about it! He never put anything Jim used up there, Jim never fucking used the blender when it was just for himself, this was just the unforeseeable anomaly of Jim helping with something in the kitchen.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm dating satan! I liked it better when I was a psychopath, as soon as you love someone they find a way to break your heart." Jim stalked over to Sebastian angrily, reaching for a waffle.

Sebastian smiled very wide and let Jim take a waffle. They were almost done anyway and he was, just too cute. "Of course," Sebastian raised his hands slightly in mock-surrender, a smirk playing on his lips, "I was just curious," he added. He glanced at the blender and plucked it off the shelf with one hand, "Anyway, breakfast's almost ready!" he said brightly.

Jim smiled in spite of himself. "Without you I probably would've starved to death by now. That's the only reason I let you be 'curious' about me." Jim took a bite of the waffle, it burned his mouth and it went against his instincts to eat straight from his hand, but it was worth it. "/Fuck/ this is good." He walked up to Sebastian and grabbed his bare ass, kissing him on the cheek. "11/10. Perfect waffle. Perfect cook."

Sebastian smiled and wrapped an arm around Jim instinctively, kissing him back on the forehead, "I'm so glad you approve, now sit down." He snatched the waffle and took a bite himself, it /was/ good. He smiled and placed it back in Jim's hand, closing his boyfriend's fingers back around the waffle for him before brushing passed to take out the last waffle.

"Bossy." Jim sat down and took another bite of his waffle. He realized he hadn't even checked the time yet. The clock on the stove said 10:04, Jesus. He didn't even have a headache. "Are you hungover at all hon?"

Sebastian blinked, he hadn't considered that. "Hmm, no? You know, all things considered we didn't actually drink that much," he paused and then grinned, "Just high on life, maybe? Skewing our collective memory?" He punctuated the question by switching on the blender.

"I had four martinis." Jim grumbled, taking another bite of the waffle.

"Mmmhigh on life and four martinis," Sebastian decided. Pouring smoothies and then granola into bowls, topping off with sliced bananas and carrying first the bowls than the waffles to the table. "Okay!" he grinned, then cut himself off, "Mmmwait more coffee, want more coffee?"

"/Sebastian/" Jim whined. "There's some in the pot still, please just bring me my food." He rubbed his throat a little. "Kinda hurts to swallow the waffles, I want my smoothie."

Sebastian tried not to smirk. He wasn't doing a great job so he just turned to refill his mug and return to the table, also grabbing knives and forks on the way. "Breakfast is served," he smiled, passing a set of cutlery to Jim.

#####  "Mmm spoon?" He started eating the waffles though, with smaller bites this time. "Oh my fucking god these chocolate chip ones are like, phenomenol. Amazing. Did Beth teach you this or were you born perfect?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes but he couldn't stop himself from smiling with an underlying pride. "Mmmright," he popped back over to the kitchen to grab two spoon, "And Beth Moran is a master of the chocolate chip waffle, in her own right," he shrugged, "But she opposes the use of vanilla extract in a chocolate based vendor and I dare defy her, so...." he picked up a chocolate chip waffle and bit into it with a smile, "She can think whatever she wants." He could almost sense that across town his mom felt a cosmic spark of absolute fury at what she would be sure to consider his blatant disrespect. He smirked to himself.

Jim smiled. "What do you guys do on your weekends? When the universe miraculously pulls us apart?" Jim scooped up some of his smoothie bowl and ate it. "Fuck, that isn't even uncomfortable, I feel like someone who would never even dream of attempting breath play."

"Hmm," Sebastian's eyes trailed across Jim's neck again and he smirked, "Well, you don't /look/ like one quite yet, but I'm glad to hear." He took a spoonful of his own smoothie bowl and felt incredibly validated about his all-the-fruit decision. He considered the actual question. "Mmmmmom and I? I dunno, talk, cook, argue about cooking, pretend to hate each other's taste in music, occasionally consume intoxicants, work on the garden sometimes, we will pull out a board game once in a blue moon but that never ends well, I dunno, sometimes she reads my future, tarot cards and tea leaves and shit, she's hilarious."

Jim almost choked on his waffle. "Sorry, Beth Moran does psychic readings? Jesus Christ." Jim swallowed and prepared another bite, wondering if he could dip the blueberry waffle in the smoothie bowl without Sebastian noticing and calling him out for being a hypocrite. "What's your future gonna be like, baby?" He said, with a snort.

"According to my mom? Suspiciously volatile," He grinned and had another spoon of smoothie, "Usually, I have one kid, I live a long and happy life, and I 'never forget those who have supported me', but last month I told her that her cast iron pan was a victim of cast-iron-pan abuse and if she didn't shape up I'd steal it away and /that/ night the cards told me I was far too arrogant, and would fall upon my own sword and perish lest I change my ways, and I said that I didn't know how she got that from the sun, the fool, and the lovers, and she said I just didn't have the eye and it was incredibly disappointing for her to listen to me misunderstand."

Jim laughed. "She should do me. It sounds like absolute bullshit." He smiled and finished his second waffle before taking a sip of coffee. "Did you look up what those cards mean when not being read by a cast iron frying pan abuser? Asking for a friend, I have zero interest in astrology."

Sebastian snorted, "Astrology, yeah. And yes, I did, its essentially love, happiness, prosperity, and fun! So it sounds like we're in luck! Oh!" His eyes widened and he smiled, "Remind me to text her about my dream she also /loves/ telling me what my dreams mean, will she make fun of me for dreaming about being James Bond? Unimportant, I got to be James Bond."

Jim was suddenly very, very interested in his smoothie bowl. "Will do," he muttered, and took a few bites, before turning to his boyfriend. "I washed the dishes yesterday, you load the dishwasher today Mr. Bond."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes slightly when Jim... well he didn't do anything exactly he was just, being weird. But he shrugged it off, Jim /was/ weird. "Of course," Sebastian smiled, finishing off his coffee and then his third waffle. He paused, unable to shake the feeling of being, just slightly worried about his boyfriend. He hummed as he took another bite of smoothie, and then spoke, casually but with interest, "Hey, why didn't you just, leave the apartment?"

Jim raised an eyebrow and stared at Sebastian for a second. "Leave, the apartment? What? Oh!" He finished his coffee and thought for a second. "I don't think I would've known where to start, the worlds a big place and, I got the feeling, that if I'd lost it, I deserved to go without it?" Nice going Jim. It's half past ten and you're already talking about your /feelings/. "It was just a dream though, mildly unsettling. Why do you ask?"

Sebastian furrowed his brow and took and other spoonful of smoothie, thinking. "So you were looking for it? But you also felt like you didn't deserve to have it because you'd already lost it the once? Did you even want to find it?"

Jim felt his face getting flushed. "Of course I wanted to find it!" Fuck, why had he raised his voice, why was he getting upset over this stupid fucking dream? It was a fucking dream. "I looked for hours! The apartment was empty too, it should've been /easy/, but it wasn't there." He took an angry bite of the smoothie bowl.

Sebastian blinked at him, but not, entirely in surprise, he had kind of, pushed that. He took another, slower, bite of smoothie. He probably shouldn't keep pushing. He paused. He let the silence sit there. "... Should've been easy?"

Jim finished his smoothie bowl and took the dishes to the sink. "TV was gone. Bed was gone. Your console was gone, closet was empty, sink wasn't there, couch wasn't there, island and fridge weren't there either. Shower was missing." He put rubbed his temples and took a deep breath. "It was genuinely just a dream, it's fine, I don't want us to be tense all day like yesterday."

Sebastian opened his mouth, closed it again, and then closed his eyes and just, took a moment. Then he got up and took a few steps towards Jim. He paused and leaned back against the counter. "You're right. I'm sorry. C'mere," he held out his arms.

Jim hesitated, then got up and collapsed into his boyfriends arms and breathed, taking in the smell of his boyfriend, the warmth of his body. He was still naked, fucking freak. "Don't apologize, it's fine, I shouldn't have gotten so worked up about it." Fuck, Sebastian was perfect. Like, really. "Why are you so curious about it though? Besides the fact that something could actually make me feel, stuff."

Sebastian rolled his eyes but smiled a little. He held onto his boyfriend and sighed. "I dunno if curious is the right word. I'm, worried about you I guess? That's gay, I'm not /worried/ worried, like I know you can take care of yourself," he briefly considered estimations of Jim's kill count at this point in his life, "obviously. ...You just have this absolutely unmatched supercomputer /god/ of a brain, and I feel like it can file shit away so smoothly you don't even notice it happening yourself, especially if you maybe, don't want to notice shit getting filed away sometimes?" He paused for a moment, a little bit unsure if he should keep going. "...Can I ask you a very simple question?" He paused momentarily but didn't actually wait for an answer, "Are you okay?"

Jim laughed into Sebastian's chest. "Of course I'm okay baby, jesus, it was just a bad dream." Soft, gentle, relaxed voice, his eyes moving up to meet Sebastian's. "I'm okay. I'm just, v- open, for the first time in a while. Takes getting used to." Jim reached up and moved some of Sebastian's hair out of his face. "Not just with you, or even your mom. Even though my business is immaculate and impenetrable," he glanced away. "What if, you know?"

Sebastian, didn't understand the reaction himself completely but his body relaxed, he softened, and he hadn't even really realized he'd been tense. He let his eyes trail across Jim's face and he placed a hand lightly against his cheek before kissing his forehead, "Yeah... I know."

Jim smiled and looked down for a second before wrapping his arms around Sebastian's torso again. "Ugh, never wear clothes around the house, I don't even know why I told you to bring some, I want you here, naked, forever." He pulled back and kissed Sebastian's forehead softly. "Load the dishwasher and then we can play your stupid game." He walked to the living room, hoping to figure out who he was going to be before Sebastian finished.

Sebastian smiled and surveyed breakfast before starting with tupperware for the leftovers. "Y'know, you've seen photos of me at 4 years old, I was never too keen on wearing clothes anyway, naked forever here all sounds excellent."

Jim laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure nothing's changed. Unless you aren't interested in Tony the Tiger anymore?" He started the console and turned the tv on before realizing that both the controllers were missing. "Baby, where are the controllers?" He called, deviously. "You know, if we can't find both, or if one of them is out of charge, we can't play!" He smiled.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, and kept loading the dishwasher. "Did you check a) under the pillows on the couch, b) beside the computer in our room, and c) little shelf on the coffee table? Those are most likely culprits, but I'll look if you can't find them."

Jim rolled his eyes and went to check by the computer in the bedroom, ignoring the little flutter his heart did when Sebastian called it /their/ bedroom. Was it weird to move in with your boyfriend after only eight months? They'd been working together for longer, Jim wouldn't admit it but he'd always found Sebastian fascinating and apparently Sebastian had had a crush (cute) on him well before they'd started going out, but, that wasn't the same as /dating/. Jim had been standing in front of the computer for too long, he shook himself. No controller. He went back into the living room, no controller on the little shelf, but there was one under the pillow. He plugged it in for good measure and got down on his stomach to look under the couch.

Sebastian finished up with dishes and found his boyfriend lying on the ground, still in a bathrobe, peering under the couch, looking for the other controller, so that they could play the game Jim didn't even want them to play. Sebastian smiled, "Okay, scooch," he instructed, getting down himself, "You take the one we got, start looking at characters."

Jim smirked and stood up, dusting himself off. "Your dick is gonna get dirty, but be my guest." He took the charging controller and opened the game. God, it was garish. He recognized a few of them, and was particularly drawn to Zelda but then, a different character caught his eye. He slowly moved his curser over to the round, pink avatar and grinned looking down at Sebastian on the floor. "I have no doubt that I will despise this game, but look, I look like mochi."

The other controller was, miraculously, sort of lodged under the couch but Sebastian managed to get it out and smiled proudly, turning to see... well. That just made sense. He grinned. "You're gonna love him." Sebastian usually played as Link, but his trusty second choice felt more fitting so he decided on Isabelle, set the CPUs to random and started a match.

Somehow, Sebastian was still first player, which Jim was kind of okay with since he had no idea how to start a match. Seb had selected a random course and as soon as it started, Jim felt like, it ended. He had just figured out the jump button when he was thrown off the edge by an overzealous Wii fit trainer. "What??? Why are there more than two???? What the fuck?"

Sebastian grinned, "You're not using your down B enough! If you just mallet all the time you're denying yourself the full Kirby experience!"

Jim looked at Sebastian, absolutely incredulous. "Sorry, once more, in English??"

Sebastian smiled and paused for a second before disabling CPUs, switching to a red Kirby and starting a new match. "Okay," he held up the remote, so Jim could see what he was pressing "Kirby training, ready?"

Jim huffed and scooched closer to his boyfriend. "Ready," he said, exasperated. He /could/ be grateful, but it was Sebastian's fault they were playing this game in the first place. And also he didn't want to admit that he needed help.

Sebastian jumped, floated, turned into a spikey block to fly down again, kicked, swung a mallet, and ate Jim's Kirby. "Got it?"

"Spit me out! What the fuck!!! Why is there vore, does Kirby usually have vore???" Jim elbowed Sebastian and then gripped his controller tightly. "Yeah, got it, start the game, /asshole/."

He spit out Jim's Kirby and exited to start another real game with CPUs, this time as Pikachu, an old favourite. He spent most of the match not really fighting, just trying to get Jim used to the controls, which involved a fair amount of yelling things like, "KILL HIM KILL LUIGI" and "Vore me!!! You'll like it!!! It's cool!!!"

Jim came in third place. And only because he'd done what Sebastian called "camping" for half the game. He was, to put it simply, absolutley livid. "I cannot fucking believe this, this is the worst I could've possibly done, I can't, I cannot fucking believe the computer beat me." His knuckles were white around the controller and his head snapped towards Sebastian. "Rematch?"

Sebastian's eyes gleamed. "Sir yes sir." They started another match, he focused his attention on destroying R.O.B. because he was pretty if Jim lost completely the kingdom of hell would decsend upon the living room, the danger of which was, definitely part of the fun.

The fact that Jim fell off the world due to his own ineptitude was very, very aggravating. The fact that he came in third, a second time, was even more so. The worst part was that he had to watch Sebastian destroy a computer for a few moments after he ran out of lives, not even playing. Just knowing that he lost. When the match ended, he didn't even say anything. He just stared straight ahead slowly rotating the joystick on the controller as he looked at Sebastian's first place on the screen.

Sebastian tried so hard not to smile. "I think, you're making noticable progress! Like, hey, I think, that when you are, actually on the platform, you do very well."

Jim slowly turned to Sebastian and smiled. "Oh? Do I? Thank you oh so very much, Moran. I'll be sure to remember how kind you are when I'm snug in our bed and you're sleeping on the couch tonight, /Moran/." Jim turned back to the screen. "Again."

Sebastian paused for a moment, but Jim didn't seem to hear what he'd said so he just started another game, with, just a little bit of a smile. "Are you going to have my own, actual apartment demolished? To prove your point?"

"I'll just chain you up in the backyard." Jim muttered, very, very focused on the game. He did, pretty well this time, he'd gotten Wario down to one life and had almost finished him off when he was knocked over his max hp and thus lost, once again, to cpu. "FUCK!" He threw the remote on the floor, batteries flying out as it hit the hardwood. He heard Sebastian stop playing and whipped around to look at him. "Don't even LOOK at me! I'll buy you a new one!! /Fuck/ you!!!!"

Sebastian tried even harder not smile but /fuck/ it was impossible! He grinned. "I can't just /not look/, you're entrancing, darling, there just hmm, what is it? Such a fire in you, absolutely mesmerizing." He grinned and leaned just slightly towards the pile of rabid rage smoldering beside him on the couch. "I love yoouuu," he sang quietly.

Jim glared at Sebastian. "I regret buying you this game, I truly, truly do." He stood up and walked to the wall, leaning forward and placing his forehead against it.

Sebastian sighed, still smiling, jesus this fucker was cute. He exited to the menu and opened another game. He let Jim stand there for a moment to cool off before holding out the remaining remote. "C'mere, make a Stardew Valley account."

"Why?? You already made me on yours." Jim took the remote though and curled up on the couch, resting his head on Sebastian's thigh. "You don't wanna play? You don't wanna go see /Abigail/?" He said Abigail with am exaggerated venom. Hm, maybe not exaggerated.

"Hmmm," Sebastian hummed, starting to play with Jim's hair, "I suppose there are, some superficial similarities between yourself and Jasper Montblanc, but I mean not really, he's conniving but sweet, complains about people at the supermarket being too boring, secretly doesn't understand how anyone doesn't find Taylor Swift at least catchy ...and Abigail will still be there, babe, she's reliable like that, BUT," he supplied, "she is /not/ the only romanceable character, you just need to find /your/ Abigail."

"Jasper Montblanc, stupid, dumb, it's not /my/ fault everyone at Asda looks like they had sex to procreate and that was it." He hit start. "I bet /Abigail/ would play Smash with you." He grumbled.

"Oh, I'm sure she would," Sebastian replied with a sigh, "but I mean, she wouldn't need excessive convincing, she'd be Fox and do very well but have impecable sportsmanship about it too, she'd leave the controller intact when she was done, she wouldn't be /half/ as much fun as you." He leaned over to kiss the side of Jim's head. "No one compares, honey," he sang.

Jim rolled his eyes. "Should I use my full name? My middle names? James or Jim? I masked the ip address on this console so I guess it doesn't /really/ matter." He typed in James Moriarty. "Brown hair, brown eyes, am I really as pale as you made /Jasper/? Hmm, I want a scarf, wait," he turned his head to look up at Sebastian from his lap. "I can get a CAT?"

Ah, he hadn't even remembered there were cat options, he and Pamela the German Shepherd were so close. "You caaannn, there's a grey one, an orange tabby, and a sort of cream coloured one with a bell. You still have to fill in name for your farm and favourite thing!"

"No, cat, I want a cat, I don't care what my farm is called. You name it." He paused for a second. "No, I don't trust you." He typed in 'Jim's Farm'. He then went down to favourite thing and typed in 'Crimes'. He hit A.

Sebastian opened his mouth to point out that while "Jim's Farm" was a stroke of marketing and creative genius Jim should kno- no he'd already started the game. Sebastian closed his mouth and tried not to buzz with excitement too noticeably. Wasn't his fault. He'd tried to stop him. He grinned. An 8-bit old man was dying and handing Jim a letter. Jim was in a cubicle at Joja corp opening the letter. Jim was being bequeathed Jim's Farm Farm.

Jim looked at the tv. Jim sat up. Jim looked at Sebastian with a wild fire burning in his eyes and calmly, lovingly asked, "Sebastian, why does it say Jim's Farm Farm?"

"Well," Sebastian started, carefully. "It asked you, what you wanted to name your farm? And you could have said, "Jim's" but you didn't? And then you just started the game! It was very sweet of your dead grandpa to name his farm after you though.... well.... to name his farm.. after... your farm..."

Jim's eyes were dead. "How do I start over."

"Jim, you cannot restart this whole game just to make it /less/ fucking funny, that's too fucking lame, babe I'm so sorry but you just can't do that, you have to keep this farm! Hey. Hey. Look at me. ...Your grandfather, was a good man, and he /died/, so that you could have that farm.... farm."

"If I hadn't lost the ability to cry years ago I would openly weep at this fucking tragedy." Jim clicked through the dialogue, reading it, just quickly, and was standing outside his farm. "Oh look, it's me," he said sarcastically. "James Moriarty, the proud owner of Jim's Farm Far- hey, wheres my fucking cat?"

"You get her in like 2 days!!! Be patient, hoe the land, you press Y, Marnie comes to you with a stray once you have at least 1000 gold and you get to adopt her. She sleeps in your room and you can pet her once a day."

"I can, pet her?" Jim laid back down on Sebastian and started to farm. It was, really nice, he got his cat, he met some townspeople, he was upset he couldn't berate any of them but he /did/ pick a romantic pursuit. Laying in Sebastian's lap, his thigh was warm, he had his hands in Jim's hair, shit. Jim's hair. "What time is it? I have a hair appointment at three thirty."

"What? Oh, 2ish? You've still got some time c'mon, you should give flowers to someone!! Never too early to start earning hearts."

"Hm, okay." Jim went to the saloon and over to the pool table. He pointed at an emo looking kid who was playing with his friend. "I want, that one. He looks like he has daddy issues, we can bond over it. How do I give him flowers??"

Sebastian froze. He hadn't considered this. Oh that would be /infuriating/ no, no. No. "He's not a romanceable option that's a waste of flowers pick someone else," he said, /way/ too quickly.

Jim grinned and looked up at his boyfriend. "What? No, he /has/ to be, there's no way they'd make someone this cute if I couldn't even kiss him. What button is it? A? Oh, oh honey." Jim bit his lip. "Do you think he has Kesha posters in his room? I'm /sure/ he has green day ones."

The screen did indeed label this fucking goth, Sebastian. The real Sebastian groaned and then narrowed his eyes at the console, /traitor/. "This is dumb, there just aren't any characters names Jim," he muttered, "He's not even cute! You're just secretly angsty."

"He /is/ cute and you're jealous because I'm going to give him flowers and not you." Jim gave him the flowers. "WHAT???? HE DIDNT LIKE THEM?????? THIS GAME IS WORSE THAN SMASH." He didn't smash the remote that time, but he did glare at Sebastian. /His/ Sebastian. "If you don't fix this immediately our relationship is over."

"Well, good thing you have another Sebastian lined up to replace me because I refuse," Sebastian retorted.

Jim paused the game and glared at Sebastian. Then he rolled over and licked around the head of his boyfriends dick enough to get it half hard before taking it in his mouth.

"I- hey wh-" /shit/. Oh whatever was happening right now was so definitely both dangerous and exploitative in nature! Why did that kind of turn him on even more? Fuuuccckkkkk. "Yes dear?" he tried to sound unaffected which he very obviously wasn't.

Jim looked up and handed him the remote. "Fix it!" He said, sweetly, before returning to Sebastian's dick. "I want Sebastian." He added quickly, before putting his tongue to other uses.

"Oh fuck y-" Sebastian's hand moved to push Jim's head away but the little psychopath's tongue did a particularly evil little swirl at that exact moment and Sebastian's fingers betrayed him and just ran themselves roughly through Jim's hair instead. Sebastian's head rolled back and he shut his eyes, one hand on the remote, the other still snaking itself into soft dark hair. "... This is so fucked up," he murmured. He considered giving this fucking emo slut another gift he'd dislike but Jim's tongue moved like /that/ and suddenly he wasn't thinking /anything/. He swore under his breath and clicked over to give Sebastian a frozen tear instead. He loved it. Sebastian glared at his stupid face for a millisecond before attention was jerked back to the /very/ talented mouth on his dick.

Jim smiled around Sebastian's dick and pulled away briefly. "He liked it! You're the best boyfriend ever, and it started with my grandpa dying honey, doesn't get more fucked up than that." Back to the blow job. Sebastian's hand in his hair felt /heavenly/, and Jim was trying and failing to keep his thoughts away from the sex they'd had last night - the last thing he wanted was to be hard at the hair dressers. Pauline would be discreet about it, but Alexander would relish at any chance to hit on Jim. Hmmm, maybe he should take Sebastian with him. He smiled as he heard Sebastian moan. Oh, did he like that tongue bit? Jim did it again.

Sebastian's remote hand had finished its mission and it followed right into Jim's hair too. Fuck how did that feel so fucking /good/. Admittedly the throat around his dick was also probably a factor. This fucking /freak/. He'd essentially sold his body for video game romance. Sebastian opened his mouth to be a dick about but that fucking /tongue/, he just gasped.

Jim almost giggled around Sebastian's dick. God, making him make noises like that was just /too/ fun. He quickened his pace a little, feeling Sebastian's fingers pull his hair back. Ohhh, fuck. He'd have to keep it long enough that Sebastian could still do this to him.

Sebastian let out a breathy "fuck" as Jim started going faster. At this rate he was /not/ going to last much longer. Had he sold his soul for this? A little bit. His boyfriend's tongue ran up the side of his dick. He bit back another moan, well, almost.

Jim felt Sebastian spasm a little. He let out a little moan himself, that 'fuck' was a little too much for him to handle. He dug his nails into Sebastian's thigh and gasped a little, replaying it in his head. No. He was /not/ gonna lose his composure.

Jim moaning around his dick was just a little bit too fucking much for Sebastian. "Babe I'm gonna-" he cut himself off with another moan and he definitely pulled the hair he was holding without even really meaning too, not that Jim seemed to mind. "I'm gon-"

If the noises Sebastian was making didn't get Jim's attention, the sharp pain of his hair getting pulled did. He made a desperate little noise before swallowing, then sat up and wiped his mouth, grinning. He kissed Sebastian on the cheek. "Thank you for fixing my relationship with Sebastian, Sebastian."

Sebastian stared at him in a slight daze before he remembered what he was even talking about. He sighed and let his head fall back against the couch again, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling a little too. "If I could warn that collection of ones and zeros what a conniving little freak you are I would. It's Sebastian solidarity and you've soiled it."

Jim smiled and moved to sit on Sebastian's lap, slowly kissing his forehead. "Yeah yeah yeah, you're just jealous, do you wanna come to my hair appointment? Alexander's been extra pushy lately and if I brought my big strong boyfriend he might realize I'm not interested." Jim let his hands travel over Sebastian's arms and chest lustfully. "Or! I'm sure were nearly out of eggs after you cooked for me two days in a row, you could go grocery shopping, pick me up after."

"Hmmmaybe one day I'll kill him," Sebastian smiled lazily, holding his boyfriend's waist and gazing up at him. What was he talking about? Groceries? "Hm, yeah sure, we're almost out of milk too, have to go eventually."

Jim wondered if, now was the best time. Well, he might as well shoot his shot. "Hey, please don't take this the wrong way but, do you think you spend too much time here? Shit, not that /we/ spend too much time together, I just mean, in this apartment, specifically." He ran a hand through his hair. "I just, your dream kinda, threw me."

Sebastian tensed. Noticeably too, fuck. No that was fine, whatever... too much time here? What? He tried to collect his thoughts and failed miserably. "I... what? my dream? I don't- sorry what are we talking about? Do you... want me to go home?" He felt his stomach drop as he spoke but he tried to sound, just casual, just a little confused. And confused wasn't even wrong, he was Definitely confused.

Jim was still on Sebastian's lap, and feeling him tense sent a wave of panic through Jim. He grabbed Sebastian's shoulders and looked him in the eyes, his voice anxious and possessive. "No. Please don't." Okay, tone it down, jesus, he relaxed his grip and lay his head on Sebastian's chest. "I don't want you to leave baby, it's just," he turned his head so his voice was muffled be Sebastian's shoulder. "It's your switch, and your fruit bowl, and our bed and our leftovers, and I never want you to leave but, I don't know, if that's," he inhaled sharply. "Normal?"

Cogs turned slowly in Sebastian's head. "Normal?" he asked, incredulous, "You're... worried about being normal? I- sorry who am I talking to right now?! and, wait, ...it's, /your/ bed.... isn't it? The bed was here before me, it predates our relationship... the bed, kind of outranks me," he stared into the middle distance, and then looked down at his boyfriend hanging on to him and sort of remembered where he was. He wrapped and arm around Jim, lacing his fingers back into that hair, gently this time. "Uh... sorry, I got a little lost I think, I'm um, still a little lost? Is it like, a fairness thing? because you know you're welcome in my apartment whenever, it's just, you hate it, so I figured we were just, both into hanging out here? We don't have to, obviously, but uh..." he trailed off still absentmindedly playing slightly anxiously with Jim's hair.

Jim was, bad at this. "Okay, listen, I really, I can't do this, you need to call your mom." Can't do this??? Really Jim????? "Shit, fuck, I mean, I can't explain what I mean, that's what I can't do, obviously I can do you, just, call your fucking mom, tell her about the bond dream."

Sebastian stared at him. He didn't seem like he was joking. Sebastian had no idea what was going on. He blinked. "... I'm gonna... put on clothes first."

Jim sighed and pressed his head into Sebastian's chest. "Mmmm fuck, Fuck!" It was muffled by the Sebastian against his mouth. "I guess I should too huh? FUCK me."

Sebastian sighed and stroked a hand through Jim's hair, he smiled a little. Still didn't, really know what they were doing, but this weirdo was cute. "Mmmprobably yeah... also just so you know, we can call my mom, for dream analysis, that's fine, I've accepted it, but if her ego swells too much and she collapses under the weight of it I refuse to arrange a funeral."

Jim laughed half heartedly into his boyfriend. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it, proper Irish funeral." He hugged Sebastian tightly. "Fuuuuuck, I'm the smartest person on the planet, why can't I tell you what I meannnnn."

Sebastian smiled lightly, "...we also can't tell my mom you're the smartest person on the planet, God, can you imagine? Beth Moran out-analyzing a genius? I'd never hear the end of it... I can't believe we're doing this, okay, scooch before I change my mind."

Jim reluctantly stood up and wandered to the bedroom (his bedroom?? Their bedroom??), opening the closet and surveying his options. He had a status to uphold at the hairdresser's, hmm, he took out a black jacket and pants with a printed shirt, black tie. He glanced at Sebastian's box of clothes on the floor of the closet. "Honey, can you hang up your things? They're gonna get wrinkled."

Sebastian realized he'd been staring into space and shook himself out of it. "Oh, sure," he got up and went to the bedroom to examine his box, pulling out socks, underwear, old jeans and a t-shirt, he had no reputation to maintain, he cared very little what people at the hairdresser's thought about him. He glanced at the window and also took a hoodie, looked chilly. He looked at the mirror and blinked before a grin spread itself over his face, "we look, like the real actual odd couple, did you ever see the odd couple? It's old, it's- we look like the odd couple." He wrapped an arm around Jim's shoulders from behind and kissed the side of his head.

"Mmm, is that a tv show?" Jim turned around to survey his boyfriend. "You look very cute Sebastian, this hoodie is nice, what's on it?"

Sebastian blinked at him, looked back at his own hoodie in the mirror and then looked back at Jim. He smiled slowly and took his boyfriend's face in his hands, "You're absolutely tragic," he informed him lovingly, "it's a very famous album, called Whats the Story Morning Glory, by a band called Oasis. It's like," he paused for a moment and started singing Wonderwall quietly at his fatally uncultured boyfriend.

Jim tried to scowl but it was hard while he was smiling. "Oh, shut uppppp, I /know/ Wonderwall. I listen to the radio! I'm not uncultured, my culture is just... underground." He smiled, Sebastian's still cupping his face, he stood on his tiptoes to kiss his boyfriend's forehead. "Keep singing, it's cute."

Sebastian rolled his eyes, a smirk pulling itself across his lips, "No no, I wanna hear about your underground culture, /do/ tell."

"I know like, a lot of Watchmen lore!! And Shakespeare!! I'm very cultured, I can name any Lady Gaga song within five seconds." God, he really was digging himself a hole. "Its almost three, call your mom!! You need to drive me to the salon!"

Sebastian tried so hard not to laugh, "Ah yes, I forgot about your very niche interests... Lady Gaga..." he slipped up and started shaking a little with suppressed laughter, "...Shakespeare." He did pull out his phone though, was he really gonna do this? Whatever.

"Are you /laughing/ at me???" Jim stared at Sebastian agape. "Why are you laughing at me???"

"No no, nothing, don't worry about it," He hit call, followed by speaker phone, the thing only rang twice before the voice of Beth Moran sang, "Yeeees dear?" Sebastian rolled his eyes, she continued, "Whatever are you up to on so lovely a Wednesday as this?" Sebastian smirked, "Jim was just telling me about this really underground playwright, ever heard of Shakespeare?" The phone giggled.

Jim glared at Sebastian. "Hi Beth!" He said sweetly. "Sebastian had a weird dream last night that he wants to tell you about!"

"My powers!" the phone exclaimed, Sebastian hit the volume down button once, "Oh of COURSE, I live to serve, tell me everything, I sense a tension, I'll fix it, absolutely Do Not Fear," Sebastian paused, he moved his thumb slowly to hover over the end call button, but withdrew it and sighed, "I was James Bond /which!!!/ was awesome and cool, and I was having this great party, but the guests kept asking me when I was going home, but I was home, so I ignored them and then eventually I had to go look for my cat, or I dunno, I felt like there was a cat in the house I had to go feed." The phone didn't say anything right away, Beth paused, before supplying, "You've never been all that interested in cats." Sebastian blinked, and then sat down on the bed and held his face in his hands, "Wow... thanks mom, I'm so glad I called, I could never have narrowed in on such subtle nuances... yes, I don't have a /particular/ lifelong affinity." The phone ignored him, ".... Jim? Honey, are you still there? Do excuse my being so forward, my son talks about you I suspect more than you might know, you're absolutely obsessed with cats are you not?"

Jim smiled a little. The idea of Sebastian gushing about him to his mom was, very sweet. "Don't worry about it, I'm not, /obsessed/, but, they are, kind of perfect." Jim's eyes lost their focus. "/Fuck/, I want a cat."

The phone paused, but Sebastian felt a slight prickle on the back of his neck, the silence was charged with something, Beth Moran was excited, she spoke slowly but when she did he knew he was right he could hear it, "... you want a cat to, live in your apartment?"

Jim looked at Sebastian and raised an eyebrow. "I mean, that's what having a cat is, right?"

"Of course! Do excuse me, completely irrelevant, where else would the cat be!? Just a little tangent I got myself off on hm?" Sebastian narrowed his eyes at the phone, she sounded /gleeful/, "... mom." "Yes! Sorry, dear, this is of course, about your dream, in which you felt completely at home somewhere, despite many outside sources seeming to imply the house you were in, was, in fact, not your own." She paused. Sebastian could hear her grinning, he really felt like he was missing something, "...Are you saying they were right? And it wasn't my home at all?" The phone sighed, "Well, that depends a little on the two of you, don't you think? Might want to have, a little chat, mightn't you?" Sebastian glared. He refused to respond. She knew he didn't get it she was being a dick. After a brief pause the phone continued, seemingly in a completely new direction, muttering "Fine! have to do everything myself, I /live/ to please ... Jim, dear, have you got it?"

Jim sighed. If he hadn't felt, unfortunately exposed he would've rolled his eyes. He /did/, he already /had/, that was why he'd insisted they call Beth. "I do," he said, hopefully neutrally. He went to sit next to Sebastian on the bed, placing a hand on his thigh.

Beth paused, "Sebastian, darling? I'm on speaker phone yes? Can you just take me off and hand me to Jim for a moment?" Exasperation won. Sebastian closed his eyes and let his torso fall back onto the bed, "She's fucking impossible, take it," he held up the phone, "Take it, hit the speaker button again to turn it off, I am /not/ invited to the academic conference of global Sebastian experts /apparently/, just didn't make the cut!"

Jim kissed Sebastian on the cheek softly. "I know how to use a phone, babe." He turned off speaker phone and held it up to his ear. "Okay Beth, just the two of us."

"Jim, honey, I don't need a fucking Bond dream to know my son wants nothing more than to be as close to you as often as he possibly can, and he is /not/ afraid of commitment, he's just an absolute fucking idiot sometimes, I'm a clumsy person, babies are slippery things, heads get bonked, I get it, that's not the point. Are /you/ ready? I know he basically lives there already but there's a very significant difference between basically and /actually/, don't feel pressured into anything, it's a big step."

Jim smiled. He was pretty sure Beth could hear it through the phone. "Yeah, I think I am, besides, it means he'll probably get me a cat." Jim rubbed Sebastian's thigh. "Thanks, Beth, you're brilliant." He took the phone of speaker. "Sebastian, tell your mother you love her."

Sebastian frowned at the two of them, well, at Jim and his own cellphone. "... No. You're both being assholes, I don't love anyone, neither of you, no one will tell me what's going on! Also I've been thinking, during your little private chat, and you're actually never allowed to talk to each other ever again it makes you too powerful, both of you, it's intolerable, and you're both basically intolerable to begin with!" He propped himself up on one elbow and pointed menacingly at Jim and Beth the phone, "You're /very/ lucky to be my favourite people in the world, otherwise I'd absolutely despise you."

Jim smiled and rolled his eyes playfully. "I'm terribly sorry Beth, I'll make sure he calls you again this week, be a good influence on him." Beth replied, saying something about how her son was hopless (but in a loving, teasing tone) before hanging up the phone. Jim fell back on the bed next to Sebastian and looked him in the eyes, reaching up slightly to stroke his thumb across Sebastian's cheek. "This is, a terribly time to talk about this, I have to get this haircut because I do genuinely look, ridiculous, but-" Jim stopped the motion with his thumb. "I want you to move in, with me."

Sebastian's eyes widened. His brain buffered. Piece after piece just fell into place. He stared at Jim, and then he burst out laughing and fell back on the bed. "Holy fucking shit! I was so fucking distracted by being James Bond that's so fucking hilarious I- OH SHIT THE CAT" he started laughing again, "Your stupid fucking /cat/..." he stared at the ceiling in disbelief, smiling stupidly, suddenly his eyes flew back to Jim, all excitement and euphoria, "/Our/ stupid fucking cat," he corrected, scrambling to his knees to take Jim's face, kiss Jim's forehead, then his cheeks and nose and mouth in a quick excited frenzy. He laughed again pulling back to look him in the eyes, "oOr cat..." he repeated, as if he couldn't even fathom the concept, "... for our... apartment... our place." He smiled so wide it almost hurt.

Holy fuck, he was so cute. Jim was so preoccupied with being bombarded by really, really pleasant kisses that he didn't realize what Sebastian had even said for a few seconds. Our, cat. For our place. "So, yes then?" Jim was smiling too. "You'll be my live in bodyguard/cook/sextoy?"

Sebastian laughed again and kissed his boyfriend, he couldn't /not/ kiss his boyfriend, how could he miss out on this opportunity, to make out with his boyfriend in their bedroom? Lying on their bed? Flirting with tardiness to their hair appointment? Well, maybe that one was still just Jim's but- Sebastian pulled away abruptly, "Holy Fuck! I'm gonna go get groceries!" he stared at Jim, wild-eyed and amazed. "They'll literally be our groceries! I know they always fucking are but..." he gestured frantically to absolutely no comprehensible effect, "They'll be my groceries! They'll be both of our groceries!!"

Jim laughed and kissed Sebastian. "Yeah, they'll be /our/ groceries." Fuck, he was smiling so much it hurt. "Have I told you today that I am totally in love with you? Now please, /please/ get me to the salon before I start to resemble the other Sebastian." Jim didn't make any attempt to get up. It was, their bed. It hadn't really, sunk in, he'd been too busy appreciating Sebastian's stupid over excited puppy affectation. /Their bed, their apartment/. Jim never shared and now he wanted to share, everything.

"HmmmI love you too," Sebastian mumbled, just sort of bathing in the bliss of it all, it felt so right. He did hop off the bed though, reaching out a hand to help Jim up too.

Jim took Sebastian's arm and let his boyfriend pull him up off the bed. He let his momentum carry him into Sebastian's chest, wrapping his free arm around his boyfriend and kissing him on the forehead. "Okay, let's go then." They walked to the porch, got their shoes on and stepped out into the afternoon. It was actually, pretty chilly out and Jim felt the cold through his jacket. He quickly slipped into Sebastian's car.


End file.
